


Bros With Benefits

by Grizzam



Series: Vulnerable [3]
Category: The Society (TV 2019)
Genre: Car Accident, Friends With Benefits, Friends to Lovers, Idiots in Love, Kissing, M/M, Oblivious, Pining, Sexual Content, Smut, catching feelings, like they're so dumb
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-24
Updated: 2020-01-10
Packaged: 2020-10-27 18:50:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 82,583
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20765246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Grizzam/pseuds/Grizzam
Summary: This is a side fic/companion piece for my story Vulnerable (which centres around Grizz and Sam)This story picks up from after chapter 36 of Vulnerable (so if you haven't gotten there yet then this is spoilers!!!)Clark, who has been questioning his sexuality, is shocked to discover his best friend, Jason, has hooked up with guys before. Being in a town with next to no non-straight people, Clark gravitates towards Jason in an attempt to figure himself out.





	1. One bro helping another bro

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! Thanks for giving this story a chance! It is a spin-off of my Grizzam story, Vulnerable, so you'd probably have to read that to get a full understanding of what's going on here, BUT if you don't want to read that you can probably still read it without Vulnerable and if you have any questions about what's going on just leave a comment and I'll always respond. 
> 
> DISCLAIMER: I obviously don't own The Society or the characters in the Netflix show. I'm just writing for fun. 
> 
> This first chapter is set directly after chapter 36 of Vulnerable. I'm not sure how many chapters there will be but I'd assume around 10 or less than. I'm not sure how often updates will be either as Vulnerable is my priority. This will be following the timeline of Vulnerable too and will end around the same time as that does. Enjoy!!!

It wasn’t like Clark was having some kind of sexuality crisis. It wasn’t an _emergency, _so to speak_. _Clark wasn’t in imminent danger, per se. Clark just thought there might have been a tiny part of himself that wanted to hook up with someone of the same gender, and didn’t every young adult think about that at some point in their life? Clark was eighteen, almost finished high school, and wasn’t college the place everyone went to to experiment anyway? Once Clark accepted that he was curious and wanted to figure himself out, he dived in head first.

Kissing his friend Grizz though? Not the smartest idea, but rather the only option he had. Who else in their small town could have been gay? When Clark found himself pressing Grizz against the locker rooms that day, the answer was no one. Grizz took it like a champ though and the two of them very quickly realized they were better off as friends. At least, that was how Clark chose to believe the conversation went. He definitely did _not_ choose to believe Grizz rejected him and left Clark just a _teeny tiny_ bit cut up about it.

With Grizz not an option, what else was there for Clark to do other than go online? That was where Grindr came in and boy did that open his eyes. He didn’t realize how many sexualities there actually were, and he soon found himself on Google, researching every single one of them to try and figure out what exactly he was.

Bisexual. The thought made Clark a little uncomfortable at first, because he liked women, right? He liked chicks. He liked boobs. He was a dude’s dude. He was a bro. He was manly as hell. He couldn’t be into other men, right? On the flip side he also liked making sure his hair was perfect, having well moisturized skin and getting manicures whenever Gwen dragged him along to the mall, but self-care was important and had nothing to do with sexuality, right? The thought still didn’t stop Clark from picking out every little somewhat feminine thing about himself and scrutinizing it until it lost all meaning.

Clark watched a bucket load of porn. Twinks. Feminine boys. Muscle jocks. Bears. Older guys. Teens. Tops. Bottoms. Oh God did the idea of bottoming scare Clark. Something…going up…there? He snapped his laptop shut numerous times but he couldn’t deny just how turned on he got watching it all. But watching porn and experiencing the real thing was not the same. How could he figure out what, or who, he was into just by watching people go at it on a screen? Because he also loved watching straight couples and lesbians.

And then it happened. Out of nowhere, another seemingly straight boy stepped forward and screamed from the rooftops that he was, in fact, not straight. Well, it didn’t happen that dramatically, but they did casually slip into the conversation that they had hooked up with guys before.

The only problem? It was _Jason,_ as in _Clark’s best fucking friend Jason. _Clark could not catch a break. First Grizz and now Jason? Who was next? Luke? Couldn’t there be one guy who wasn’t Clark’s friend in this damned school that liked guys too? No. It had to be Jason. Jason who didn’t even blink an eye at everyone’s shocked expressions at his confession. Jason who went and got a beer before getting right back to playing his video game and shoving his face full of Cheetos. Jason who just dropped a bomb and didn’t even care to elaborate on it, and Clark was thirsty for information.

Clark’s initial reaction was to try and hook up with his friend, because well, they _were_ friends, right? What was wrong with one bro helping another bro to figure himself out? The thing was, Grizz seemed to read Clark’s mind and put a stop to that straight away. Grizz said no. He said don’t do it. Grizz was clever, the smartest of their group, so Clark should have listened to his advice, right? Well, maybe Grizz didn’t have to know. Maybe Clark would be smarter this time and not kiss one of his friends completely out of the blue.

Grizz made a mistake though. He left early that night. He had some date or some shit with his boyfriend, Sam, so he wasn’t around to stop Clark from doing anything he might regret. It was a sign, right? That the only person stopping him from doing anything with Jason just so happened to leave early? It left the door wide open.

“Aah suck it, bro. I don’t know why you even try,” Jason jeered as he pushed Clark’s arm. The two had been sitting side by side on the floor of Luke’s living room, playing a video game well into the hours of the evening after their friends had all gone to bed.

“Whatever,” Clark pushed Jason back, “I was distracted.”

“Oh yeah, by what?” Jason asked.

Clark stared at him. What, indeed. He was distracted by how close Jason sat to him, how his cologne suddenly smell so _good_, how _he had hooked up with guys and Clark had no idea_, and couldn’t stop thinking about it, wondering how, when, who, where, why? Why hadn’t Jason _told_ him?

“Aw fuck, dude. You’re really letting this get to you, huh?” Jason said with a hint of annoyance in his voice.

Clark, snapping out of his stupor, answered dumbly, “what?”

“You’re thinking about what I said. About me and guys. It bothers you,” Jason accused.

“What? No it doesn’t,” Clark had never spoken so fast in his life, “dude, I’m cool with Grizz, I’m cool with you.”

Jason eyed him warily before nodding, “aight. Another game?”

“Sure,” Clark answered, only he didn’t want to play. He had questions. He watched Jason and he didn’t want their conversation to be over once it had been brought up.

“So, you, like, date guys?” Clark asked.

“I don’t date guys, I hook up with guys,” Jason said as he kept his eyes on the TV screen while he set up the game.

“Oh. Well…can I ask you some stuff? Like about it?” Clark was so awkward. He shouldn’t have been awkward around Jason. They talked about _everything_, or at least, Clark thought they did. He was a little hurt his best friend hadn’t told him about this, especially since he always went into vivid detail about all the girls he hooked up with. What was so different about guys? Then again, it wasn’t like Clark was exactly open to Jason about the crush he developed on Grizz.

“Dude, it’s my business. This is why I didn’t tell anyone, because now I’m like a circus act,” Jason snapped.

“Alright bro, I was just curious, fuck,” Clark backtracked. He felt a pang in his heart, hating whenever Jason, or any of his friends for that matter, talked down to him.

Jason glanced to Clark, his gaze falling on his eyes, and Clark tried his best to hide how he was really feeling, how he was curious not because he was being nosy, but because he was trying so hard to figure himself out.

Jason sighed, tossing the controller to the ground as he turned to face Clark a little more, “okay bro, hit me.”

“What?”

“What do you wanna know? Ask now,” Jason said.

Oh shit, what _did _Clark want to know? Where to begin?

“Well…why didn’t you ever tell me? We’re best friends,” Clark asked.

“I thought you’d be weirded out by it,” Jason answered.

“Well, I’m not,” Clark countered, “I’m really fucking not.” He sighed and, yeah, he was giving up on hiding the real reason for his curiosity. He couldn’t even look at Jason, knowing the boy’s eyes were on him, inquisitively studying his reaction, and Clark knew he could be an open book sometimes. His friends often told them how transparent he was.

“Have you ever hooked up with a dude?” Jason threw the question out so carelessly, so casually, and Clark, well, he wasn’t usually shy, and he was comfortable around Jason. He didn’t answer in so many words, but the way he paused, the way he looked at Jason, gave Jason some sort of clue that this _wasn’t_ just Clark wondering about his friend’s sexuality. There was more to it.

“What’s it like?” Clark asked.

“First guy I ever hooked up with was…fucking mind-blowing. I mean, it was only a blow-job, but there’s something about how a guy does it that’s so different to how a girl does,” Jason said.

“How? Like…How’d it happen?” Clark asked.

“I was in the city, at this club couple years ago, and-“

“A gay club?”

“Yeah,” Jason laughed, “a gay club. I was just curious and horny as fuck. I met a guy, can’t remember his name, and he started dancing with me.”

“You would’ve been, like, sixteen. It wasn’t some old creep, was it?” Clark asked.

“No, I didn’t get his age but I’m pretty sure he was in there with a fake ID too. Lil twink, ya know?” Jason said, and it was blowing Clark’s mind to hear him use the terminology that Clark had to google to learn.

“Sure…”

“Anyway, I took him back out to my car and, shit, dude, we didn’t even make it to the backseat before he was on his knees undoing my pants,” Jason laughed. He _laughed_ when Clark was struggling to get the images out of his head before he got a fucking boner.

“What, uh…what happened then?” Clark asked.

“What do you think?” Jason snorted.

“Did you fuck him?”

“No. He blew me and then, I kind of freaked. Like, it was my first time with a dude, ya feel?” Jason said. Clark didn’t feel. Clark didn’t know what it was like at all, other than kissing Grizz.

“Sure. Uh, so there were other guys then? That you did more with?” Clark asked.

“Yeah. A lot. It gets kind of addictive, fucking guys, being fucked by guys,” Jason said, and Clark’s head was spinning. That was a lot to take in coming from his best friend.

“So, you’ve done both? Topping and bottoming?” Clark asked.

“Yeah.”

“What do you like more?”

“What do you think?” Jason asked, and there was this tone in his voice, a challenging sort of tone that Clark couldn’t quite figure out, maybe because he was flooded with images of Jason in precarious positions with guys.

“I-I don’t know,” Clark finally answered. He shifted, pulling his knee up to his chest so Jason couldn’t see how the conversation was affecting him.

“It depends on my mood,” Jason answered for him, “whether I want to be dominated, or dominating. Although, bottoming doesn’t always mean being dominated. There was this one guy who was so damn shy, but he, like, was so adamant he was a top, so I was like cool, whatever, but he also wanted me to, like, pin him down and tie him up and shit. It was pretty hot, bro.”

That was too much, hearing his best friend doing those things. And it was ridiculous because Clark knew every little detail about what Jason did when he hooked up with girls, but hearing it about guys was different. Clark was…_jealous._ He wasn’t really sure why. He had never had feelings for Jason in his entire life. Then again, Clark had only _just_ figured out he might be into guys. He didn’t know if he could potentially like Jason like _that. _Clark was jealous because Jason had experimented, and Clark hadn’t, and he _wanted_ to. He really fucking wanted to.

Desperately needing the conversation to turn away from sex, Clark asked, “So…you never, like, _liked_ one of the guys?”

“Nah bro, I ain’t into guys like that. It’s just about sex. I could never see myself falling for one or dating one,” Jason answered. That was where he and Jason differed. Sure, Clark was extremely interested in the physical side of things, but knowing full well that he did have a legitimate crush on Grizz, that he really, _really_ liked Grizz, let Clark know that it was about more than sex for him. Not that Clark would ever admit out loud that he liked Grizz or try to pursue him again.

“Did any of them kiss good?” Clark asked, and maybe, just _maybe_ he asked that because he couldn’t get his eyes off Jason’s lips.

“I guess,” Jason shrugged, “not much different to kissing girls. Actually, that’s a lie. Sometimes you get a guy who is like, super dominant and just attacks you. Girls don’t really do that.”

“Right…”

“Yeah,” Jason said as he picked up the controller again, and fuck, that wasn’t the end of the conversation, was it?

“I kissed Grizz,” Clark blurted out. That got Jason’s attention again as he placed the controller down and his full attention was once again on his best friend.

“Oh yeah? Was he any good?” Jason asked, and _that_ was his question? Was Grizz any good at kissing? Not, why did you kiss Grizz? Do you like Grizz? Are you gay? What happened after? Just if Grizz was good at it?

“It was alright, I think. It was kinda quick and only happened once, so I don’t really…” Clark trailed off, and fuck, he still didn’t really know how he felt about that kiss.

“Don’t really…what?”

“It was confusing. I don’t really know if I liked it or not,” Clark admitted.

“Why don’t you try finding another guy?” Jason suggested.

“You’re the only other guy in this shit town, other than Grizz and Sam, that would be into it,” Clark said before back-tracking, “I mean, not saying that you’d be into it, but like, you like guys and I dunno who else does.”

“I can hook you up with this guy I know,” Jason offered.

“Did you fuck him?” Clark asked.

“Yeah,” Jason admitted with a grin.

“Then I’m not hooking up with him,” Clark sighed, feeling a bit defeated, “I dunno dude. I don’t like the idea of finding some random guy. Fuck, I wouldn’t be having this problem if Grizz would’ve just…”

And Clark was well beyond keeping it a secret that he was interested in guys. It was all out there now and Jason, well, Jason didn’t seem to even flinch at the admission.

“If Grizz would’ve what?” Jason asked.

“I dunno, bro. I fuckin’ asked him to just…kiss me again or something, so I’d know if I liked guys and he said no because of Sam,” Clark explained.

“Shit dude, tough break,” Jason said, “but like, I’ll fuckin’ do it.”

“Do what?”

“Take one for the team. I’ll kiss you,” Jason said as if he were just offering Clark a ride home, and Clark would have been lying if he said he didn’t want the conversation to head in that direction.

“You don’t think it’d make things weird?” Clark asked.

“Not if you don’t make it that way. It’s just kiss, and hell, I’ll help you out with more if you want, bro,” Jason said, and Clark’s head was spinning again.

“What do you mean more?” Clark asked.

“Listen, you’re hot, right? You know that?” Jason asked.

Clark’s cheeks were on fire. Sure, he knew he was hot, but another guy hadn’t told him that before.

“Yeah, I do,” Clark nodded.

“Well, if you’re into it I could totally do with a friends with benfits that’s actually living in the same town as me. Unless you think it’d be too weird hooking up with your friend,” Jason asked.

“You don’t think it would be?” Clark asked.

“Fucking is fucking. Doesn’t need to be anything more,” Jason shrugged.

Jesus Christ, Clark didn’t know what to think. Sure, he wanted Jason to offer a kiss so Clark could figure out if he was into it, but offering _this?_ Friends with benefits? He made it sound so simple, and he supposed that was how Jason was. He was simple, and not in the way Clark was. Clark’s friends always told him he was simple in a _dumb_ way, even if Clark argued that because he swore he wasn’t as stupid as they all thought. He was just very easily influenced. Jason was simple in way where he was open, he was forward, he said it how it was. He didn’t hold back. There was no guessing when it came to him. He was simple. So, Clark knew that Jason really didn’t think being friends with benefits was a big deal.

“Maybe we could start with a kiss first, just to see? You know, like, whatever dude. It’s dumb and you don’t have to do it just because I want to,” Clark said shyly.

“Nah dude, let’s do it,” Jason encourage.

“Cool, so, how do we…like…” Clark felt dumb for even asking it, and Jason rolled his eyes, confirming that yes, what he said was indeed dumb.

Jason shuffled closer and when it was obvious that Clark wasn’t going to make the move, he leant in, pressing their lips together. It was a little weird at first. He had known Jason since sixth grade after all, as purely platonic. Clark pushed that from his mind though as he instead thought about how he was kissing a _man_. Not a girl. A man.

The kiss didn’t last that long, and it was close mouthed. Their lips melded together slowly as Jason let Clark take it all in. He focused on three things the most; how good Jason smelled, how his heart was racing, and how his lips were tingling. Jason pulled back all too soon.

“Well?” Jason asked.

“Well what?” Clark could barely even look at him.

“Did you like it?” Jason laughed.

“No,” Clark said as if on reflex.

“Oh well, there you go,” Jason shrugged.

It was a lie. A complete lie. Of course, Clark liked the kiss, but how could he tell his best friend that he thoroughly enjoyed that and wanted to do it again? That he wanted more, that he _needed _more, just to confirm that yeah, he liked kissing a guy, or did he like kissing Jason in particular? Clark wasn’t sure. He didn’t know if it was a fluke, and he was too embarrassed to ask Jason to do it again.

“I mean, it was a pretty shit kiss,” Clark said, hoping he’d take the bait.

“What?” Jason asked, looking a little surprised with those deep brown eyes of his.

“The kiss, I mean, I thought you could’ve done better considering what I’ve seen,” Clark said.

“I am _not_ a bad kisser, dude. What the fuck?” Jason argued.

Clark shrugged, “I’m just saying how it is man.”

“You didn’t get a _real _Jason kiss, okay? I was going easy on you,” Jason was getting worked up now, and Clark knew he had struck a chord.

“Probably won’t have changed anything,” Clark said dismissively.

“Bro, come here,” Jason moved closer.

“What?”

“Just come here, bro, fuck,” Jason demanded, and without another word he had his hand on the back of Clark’s head and their lips pressed together. 

It wasn’t anything like their other kiss and Clark found out pretty quick that Jason really had been going easy on him before. It was good. It was so fucking good. His lips worked Clark’s like an expert and not even five seconds into the kiss, Clark felt Jason’s hot tongue sliding against his. Clark, not wanting to be outshone, gave his A-game right back.

And yeah, Clark was pretty damn sure he was into dudes. He wasn’t grossed out in the slightest. In fact, a warmth ran through his entire body, and fuck, he was getting hard. _Jason_ was making him hard, and not just from talking about sex, but from kissing him.

Jason pulled back and Clark found himself chasing after his lips, pressing them together once more. If Jason were a girl, Clark would already be half way into his pants, but instead, his hands had no idea what to do.

“Okay, okay,” Jason spoke against his lips before pulling back, “I knew you’d like that dude. Ain’t nobody resisting what these lips can do.”

Clark, who had his eyes closed, opened them, looking at his best friend, a little dazed and quiet.

“So, thoughts?” Jason asked.

Clark snapped out of it as he shook his head, “no. No. Uh, that uh, did nothing.”

Jason snorted as he shook his head, “yeah, okay homie. Anyway, you wanna play another round or not?”

“I gotta go,” Clark blurted out.

“What?”

“My mom, uh, she needs, uh, she wanted me to come home tonight,” Clark said as he scrambled up from the floor.

“I thought you were staying?” Jason asked as he looked up at Clark from the floor.

“Yeah, but…I remembered we gotta get up early for uh, church,” Clark made up.

“Tomorrow’s Tuesday?”

“Yes,” Clark nodded, “bye.”

Clark was out of there at lightning speed. He felt awful for lying, but he couldn’t be around Jason for another second, because he was into kissing him, really into it, and he had to come to terms with that himself before admitting that to Jason. He needed to clear his head, so he left, hoping beyond hope that he could find a bit of clarity on his walk home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading!! I love you all!


	2. Just kidding!...Unless?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 1 recap: Clark has been questioning his sexuality and after discovering his best friend Jason has hooked up with guys, the two decided to kiss to see if Clark's into it. Clark was into it but he lied and said he wasn't even though it was totally obvious that he was.
> 
> This next chapter takes place before chapter 38 of Vulnerable, so before Allie's party starts. And during chapter 38/39.

Clark thought that after he left Jason the night they kissed, that things would be awkward between them, only, it wasn’t. In fact, in the days that followed their little experiment, Jason had gone right back to normal. It was all fist bumps and “bro” this and “bro” that. Clark didn’t know what else he expected him to do. Jason was never the type of person to dwell on something. Clark was sure that his friend hadn’t even given the kiss a second thought, unlike himself. He hadn’t been able to get the feel of Jason’s lips off his ever since it happened.

Maybe Clark _wanted_ something else to happen. Maybe he wanted Jason to want him. Maybe he wanted Jason to try and hook up with him again because he had changed his mind and wanted to test things further with him. Then came the big question; did Clark want Jason because it was _Jason_, or because he wanted to hook up with a guy? He couldn’t figure it out.

Everything took a turn on Saturday though, and perhaps that was Clark’s own fault. Every single Friday night for as long as he and Jason had been best friends, Clark had dinner at Jason’s house. Every Friday night, without fail, unless they were hanging out at Luke’s or there was a party. Clark even blew off hanging out with Gwen when they were dating just to go to Jason’s. It was tradition. For the first time in a very long time, Clark skipped Friday night dinners.

And what was worse? He told Jason he had to _study_. Other than the fact that Clark was notorious for _never _studying, but being a senior about to graduate meant that it was a rare occasion he’d even have something to study for in the first place. He couldn’t have just pretended he was sick, could he? No, he froze on the spot and blurted out the lie before promptly leaving that afternoon after school.

That was what made Saturday awkward, because after Clark felt bad for lying, he couldn’t bring himself to turn down Jason’s offer of a work-out session; something they did most Saturdays. It was their routine. Clark didn’t really know why he avoided going to Friday night dinner. Probably because they always ended up in Jason’s room, and he didn’t know how he was supposed to act if they were alone again.

When Clark turned up at Jason’s house on Saturday, it was different from the get go. As in, Jason was different. The way he looked at Clark was _different_. The way he spoke was different. And honestly, Clark kind of liked it. It all started the moment Clark knocked on his front door.

“There he is,” Jason said with his award-winning smile.

“Here I am,” Clark said, hoisting his gym bag up over his shoulder.

Jason swung the door open further and nodded for him to come in. Clark squeezed past the small space between the door frame and his friend, almost tripping in his attempt to break free from the close proximity.

“You alright?” Jason asked.

“What?”

“Are you alright?” Jason repeated, “you know, didn’t damage any brain cells with all that studying last night?”

“Oh, right,” Clark laughed nervously, “math’s a bitch.”

“Sure,” Jason swung the door closed.

The two of them headed down the hall before going downstairs into the basement. Jason’s dad was a personal trainer, so he had a gym set up in the spacious basement, and he was more than happy for Jason and his friends to use it if they wanted.

Clark dumped his gym bag down on the floor and latched onto his gym towel tightly as he looked over at Jason, “where are we starting?”

“Have you stretched yet?” Jason asked him.

“Nah,” Clark dismissed, “I’ll be fine. What’s our warm up?”

“I’m up for a race. Bet you I can get further than you in fifteen minutes,” Jason said as he hopped on one of the treadmills.

Clark stepped onto the treadmill next to it, shaking his head, “nah man, I’ve always been a better runner than you.

“Endurance, maybe. But I’m quicker,” Jason bragged.

“I’ll kick your ass.”

“Challenge on,” Jason threw a playful glare his way.

“What do I get if I win?” Clark asked.

“What do you want?” Jason asked back with a smirk, and Clark wasn’t sure if he was imagining the suggestive tone or not. All he knew was that it tripped him up for a moment, and instead the friendly, playful banter meant something else. But still, Clark didn’t know if he was making it up.

“What do you want if _you _win?” Clark countered.

“Hmm,” Jason pondered, eyeing Clark, “I’ll think about it.”

“Whatever,” Clark snorted, trying to ignore the hot feeling in the pit of his stomach. He was a little lost. He recognized the way Jason was talking to him and looking at him. He had seen him speak in the exact same way to a dozen girls at every single party they went to. Clark was losing his mind, surely. Jason had been acting nothing but normal and friendly to him all week, why would that change now?

“Ready?” Jason asked.

Clark set his speed before nodding, “go.”

The two started off with a light jog at first, because well, it was a fifteen minute run after all. The moment that Jason started speeding up though, Clark followed suit, matching his level. Clark could jog for hours on end, but Jason was right saying he was faster. He kept putting up his speed and so did Clark, trying to catch up, but he was struggling. He pushed through the pain, not wanting the other to win.

Clark could feel Jason’s eyes on him, glancing at him every now and again, but Clark didn’t dare look back at him. He stayed focused, the competitive nature in him pushing through. Five minutes left, and sweat was dripping from both boys, soaking through their t-shirts and running down their faces. With two minutes left, Jason upped his speed once more, and Clark just didn’t have it in him to push himself any faster, even if he knew that meant he would lose.

Clark glanced at Jason, watching his form gliding on the treadmill as if it were nothing. Fuck, how was he so good at this? Clark was always into cardio more than Jason was. Jason was just good at sprinting when he needed to.

“Time!” Jason shouted and the two pressed stop, eager to end the fifteen minutes of torture. Both stepped off their machines and collapsed to the floor side by side, huffing and puffing. Clark’s entire body felt as though it was on fire, it was so hot in there.

“You call that…a warm up? That…was…intense,” Clark said through his heavy breathing.

“Sorry you couldn’t keep up,” Jason said as his hand lazily flopped onto Clark’s chest.

“Fuck you, I kept up just fine,” Clark argued.

“And yet, I got further,” Jason teased as he rolled onto his side, propping himself up on his elbow, “at least you broke a sweat.” He carded his fingers through Clark’s damp hair, ruffling the locks into a mess.

“Stop it,” Clark snapped, grabbing Jason’s wrist.

“Or what?” Jason challenged, and it caught him off guard. He opened his mouth to answer, but nothing came out. Jason simply smiled at Clark’s inability to speak before letting go of his wrist and getting up off the floor.

“I’m gonna work on arms and chest today,” Jason said so casually, as if he hadn’t just _flirted_ with Clark. Or maybe he really hadn’t flirted. Maybe Clark was looking too far into the interaction.

Clark sat up just as Jason pulled his shirt up over his head and dumped it on the floor right next to him. Glancing from the shirt to Jason’s bare torso, Clark found himself checking the boy out. No, not boy, man. Because that was what Jason was, he was Clark’s fully-grown friend who was a _man_ and had the body of a _man _and, God, it was a good body. Clark had never checked out Jason like that before. He noticed that he was ripped, sure, but he never actually focused on it. He never drooled over it. And fuck, Clark was drooling.

“You good?” Jason asked.

“What?”

“I know I’m hot, but,” Jason smirked, giving a shrug.

“I’m not checking you out,” Clark defended.

“Okay,” Jason didn’t believe him. If it wasn’t clear in his tone then it definitely was in his eyes.

“I’m not. I’m not a fag,” Clark spat.

“Didn’t say you were,” Jason said, the tiny tug off a smile was barely hidden. Clark saw it and it only infuriated him a little more.

Jason sat at the chest press machine and started going at it. Clark still wanted to defend himself some more, but he figured doing that would only tell Jason that he really was trying to hide something. Instead, he let it go and stayed over the other side of the room, deciding it was leg day. He sat on the leg curl machine and after changing the weights, got right to it.

“Erica hit me up this morning,” Jason spoke.

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah, just kind of out of the blue,” Jason said.

“Because of the party tonight?” Clark asked, ignoring the pang in his chest at the mention of the girl.

“Yeah, she started sending me pictures of what she’s wearing and asking what I thought. I’m like shit girl, I don’t care as long as the clothes end up on the floor at the end of the night,” Jason laughed.

“So, you gonna hook up with her?” Clark asked, peering over at the other boy.

“I don’t see why not,” Jason watched Clark back, his stare lingering, as if he were waiting for Clark to say something.

“Hell yeah, bro. You go…get it,” Clark felt awkward saying that. The two often spoke about hooking up with girls. It was normal for them, but with Clark’s mind a complete mess, he just felt strange and he couldn’t quite place the exact feeling. It reminded him of the way he felt every time Grizz mentioned Sam’s name.

“She’s always into my biceps, ya know? I think they’re looking kind of shit lately. What do you think?” Jason flexed and Clark was…turned on? By a bicep? Or, what? Fuck.

Clark was into men. Clearly. But he hadn’t figured out the type of men or to what extent his attraction went, because he really liked girls, so he thought he’d just be into feminine types, right? Like with Grizz, sure, he was tall and fit and a jock, but his facial features? Pretty. His hair? Pretty. The way he talked? Soft and gentle. Jason though? Facial features? Sharp jawline. Tiny bit of stubble. Hair? A mess, always. The way he talked? Like a dude. He was strong and flaunted it. He exuded masculinity. He was a lot manlier than Grizz was, and Clark never in a million years thought he’d be attracted to that, and yet, there he was, having to avoiding staring directly at the other man’s bicep.

“Clark?” Jason prompted.

“They’re good,” Clark replied casually.

“They feel flabby,” Jason pouted.

“Fuck off,” Clark snapped, “they’re toned as fuck.”

“I’m not fucking with you. They’re like, squishy,” Jason said, poking his arm.

“Fuck off.”

“Feel them!” Jason demanded. Was he really that concerned about his bicep?

Choosing to humor Jason, Clark left his machine and went over, standing in front of him. He grabbed hold of his upper arm, feeling the bicep that Jason had obviously flexed.

“They’re hard,” Clark deadpanned.

“Yeah they are,” Jason winked. Clark would have rolled his eyes if he wasn’t so busy trying to suppress the blush on his cheeks. He turned away from Jason to go back to the other side of the room where it was safe.

“Hey, give me a spot?” Jason asked.

“What?” Clark spun back around.

“Spot me,” Jason said again as he went over to a bench with a barbell above it with weights already on. Clark went over and stood at the end where Jason’s head was once he lay down. Jason reached up, glancing at Clark before he lifted the weights off the rack and easily pushing them up and down to begin with.

Clark, under the rouse that he was making sure Jason could handle it, once again checked out his body, taking note of the way his muscles tightened and relaxed, how they bulged, how his abs moved back and forth with every breath, and the sound, oh fuck, the sound of Jason grunting. The thoughts had him thinking about his earlier conundrum about whether he found manliness attractive or not.

“What kind of guys do you usually hook up with?” Clark asked.

“What do you mean?” Jason asked back, glancing at his friend. His arms shook as he placed the barbell back on the rack, but he didn’t move. He stayed laying there, looking up at Clark.

“Like, are you into more girly guys or, like, guy guys?” Clark asked.

“Jocks,” Jason answered simply, “although, a little twink is good for fucking.”

The images were too much for Clark to handle, especially since they were all he had been thinking about since finding out Jason hooked up with guys. It was so fascinating to Clark.

“But like, don’t get me wrong,” Jason went on, “I like being a top and a bottom but usually if I seek out a guy it’s because I wanna be fucked and it’s usually the jock types that do it.”

“Cool,” Clark said, and he didn’t have any more questions, because just hearing Jason say that, and the images in his head, was making Clark hard, and he was in sweats, so if he kept up the conversation then he’d be busted for sure.

“Switch?” Jason asked.

Clark nodded, even though he had been working on his legs. They swapped places, Clark now laying on the bench with Jason hovering above him. Just like Jason, Clark began with ease, lifting the weights up and down.

“Why the questions again? You still curious?” Jason asked.

“No,” Clark said a little too quickly.

“It’s okay if you are,” Jason said, and Clark wasn’t dumb, even if people often told him that he was. Sometimes he was just a little slow to catch onto things, but in that moment he could tell that Jason was trying to get him to admit that he was curious. If he wasn’t so flustered then he might have even clued into the fact that Jason had been testing him ever since he opened the front door that day. He wouldn’t find that out until later that night.

“Well, I’m not,” Clark denied.

“Okay,” Jason said, not believing Clark for a second.

The two eyed each other down, neither backing down. Knowing that Jason was looking at him made Clark want to look good. He found himself wanting to impress Jason, and he knew it was a physical thing. It had to be, right? Jason was his best friend, and that was it, but he found himself wanting Jason to be just as attracted to him, physically, as he was to Jason. Did Jason even see him like that?

Clark’s arms shook under the weight of the barbell and, wanting to fight through the pain and show off, he pushed up much too quickly, resulting in a sharp pain shooting through his shoulder.

“Ah, fuck,” Clark’s elbows buckled and Jason stepped forward, grabbing the bar right before it crushed Clark’s throat. He pulled it back up into the rack.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Clark groaned.

“What? What’d you do?” Jason asked, concern all over his face.

“Left shoulder blade. Shit,” Clark said through gritted teeth.

Jason came around to Clark’s side, offering his hand as assistance, “can you sit up?”

Clark took his hand and let Jason pull him into a sitting position, but that only make it worse. The pain shot down the to the middle of his back.

“Motherfuck, it’s like going through my back now,” Clark whined.

“Why were you pushing yourself so hard, dude?” Jason asked like Clark was an idiot, and he hated that tone. He really did.

“I wasn’t pushing myself. I fucked it up the other day, I just triggered it,” Clark admitted.

“Shit, dude, get on the floor face down,” Jason ordered.

“What? Why?”

“Because you’re in pain and I’ll make it better, dumbass,” Jason said, gesturing to the matted floor.

Clark, just needing the tension in his shoulder and back to be relieved, did as he was told. He got on the floor, Jason putting a towel under his head as pillow. Clark wasn’t really sure what Jason was planning on doing, but he did _not_ expect Jason to straddle his back, his thighs almost clamping down on his hips. Jason pushed Clark’s shirt up, making him tense underneath him.

“Here?” Jason asked as he kneaded his fingers into Clark’s shoulder blade.

“Little lower,” Clark choked out. Jason took the direction and massaged lower.

“Ah, yeah,” Clark sighed in relief, “right there.”

“And down your back, right? Like along here?” Jason trailed his fingers down the bare skin of Clark’s back.

“Little to the left, but yeah,” Clark said.

“Tell me when it starts feeling better,” Jason said.

Clark nodded as his body slowly relaxed under Jason’s touch. His friend massaged him like a pro, digging his fingers into every tense muscle and knot. He worked up and down, from shoulder blade, to his back, and up again. His hands were like magic. Clark closed his eyes, succumbing to the trance Jason had him under.

He had pulled the muscle days ago and had no relief. He hadn’t gone to a physiotherapist even though his dad kept telling him to. The pain had started going away, up until Clark just fucked it up by pushing himself too hard. He could feel the tension leaving all over again as Jason did what he did best, and he was really, really fucking good at it. Clark was sure Jason was going to end up a sports physio one day.

It wasn’t the first time they had done this for each other. There were a lot of injuries when it came to football, but it was different now. Clark knew different. He knew he had an attraction to men, and he knew Jason wasn’t straight either. All Clark could think about was Jason’s hands on him, those exact hands which had strayed from the painful areas and were going lower, and drifting to the right side of Clark’s back, giving him a complete massage. Did Jason even have any idea what he was doing to him?

“Does it feel good?” Jason’s voice was low, close to Clark’s ear, and Clark couldn’t help but moan in response. Hearing himself like that snapped him out of his trance. It alerted him to what was happening, to how he felt, to how he was _hard_ and pressed against the floor painfully, to how Jason had no idea of his arousal.

“That’s…that’s good. It’s good now,” Clark said.

“I can feel the tension still,” Jason said.

“No, it’s fine,” Clark said quickly.

“Seriously, bro. It’ll just end up hurting again,” Jason argued.

“Seriously, it’s good,” Clark practically snapped, and without thinking, he shuffled around, rolling onto his back, and boy was that a mistake, because Jason was still straddling him, and Clark was hard, really hard, and it was _so fucking obvious_. So obvious that Jason glanced down before his gazed flicked back up to meet Clark’s.

“I think I better stop for the day, before I, uh, hurt myself again. I’m gonna shower,” Clark said, sitting up the best he could. Another mistake, because that just made him closer to Jason who hadn’t moved a muscle.

“You gonna be okay alone?” Jason asked.

“What?”

“Can you move properly?” he asked.

“Yeah. Can you like…get off me?” Clark said. 

“Why?” Jason played dumb.

“Why?!” Clark practically yelled. This was ridiculous. Clark was hard, and Jason knew it. He saw it. He _felt_ it. He had to. The fucker was _smirking_.

“Don’t be embarrassed Clark, we’ve all been there,” Jason said in amusement.

“W-what?”

“Getting hard during a massage. It’s natural,” Jason explained.

“I-I’m…I’m not,” Clark stuttered.

“Yeah, okay,” Jason said, and he finally got off Clark, standing up and taking a few steps back. Out of sheer curiosity, Clark glanced down at the front of Jason’s gym shorts, but there was nothing, no bulge. Nothing. Clark had been imaging the entire thing, hadn’t he? Jason wasn’t being seductive. He wasn’t flirting. But, fuck did it feel like he had been. Even the way Jason looked down at Clark in that moment had him thinking that Jason was messing with him somehow.

“Shower,” Clark said, not knowing what else to say.

Ignoring the dull pain still in his shoulder, he scrambled up from the ground and went over to his gym bag. He snatched it up before leaving the room and running upstairs to the bathroom. He slammed the door shut, locking it. He dropped his bag, and still leaning against the door, shoved his hand into his sweats.

He whimpered, squeezing his eyes shut as he jerked himself off and tried to think of something, _anything_ other than Jason, and he failed miserably. He gave in, focusing on the image of Jason’s biceps flexing as he lifted weights, and pretty quickly those images turned into a fantasy of Jason on top of him, holding himself up, grinding on him. _Shit._ Clark was so worked up that it didn’t take him long to climax.

“Fuck,” Clark whined. He almost wanted to cry. And he felt guilty, so fucking guilty for thinking of his friend in that way; the friend that was downstairs probably finding it hilarious that he had popped a boner, and probably not attracted to him in that way _at all_.

Clark felt dirty. He stripped himself of his clothes, trying his best to clean up the mess he made in his sweats before getting into the shower, which honestly, he should have done _before_ giving in to his primal urges, but he just couldn’t help himself. He was attracted to Jason and he honestly had no idea what to do about it.

\---

Jason didn’t mention the incident at his house. In fact, when they met up at Allie’s party, Jason was acting normal. Well, _almost_ normal. When they were around everyone it was as if nothing happened, but every now and again Jason would look over at him, his eyes lingering for a moment too long, leaving Clark all sorts of paranoid. Clark was going insane because he couldn’t tell if he was doing it on purpose or not, because it very well could have all just been in his head.

Not wanting things to be awkward, Clark acted as though everything was fine. Allie’s party was an absolute banger and Clark, being a bit of a partier, easily let everything that had been on his mind disappear, for the time being at least, because as much as he wanted everything to go back to normal, he was still curious about Jason, and boys in general.

At the end of the day, they were best friends. Clark knew that he and Jason were the class clowns, and having people watch them, laugh at them, and be entertained by them, made the two play up a whole lot more. Although he didn’t think Allie, or her sister, Cassandra, were too impressed with them riding their dad’s surfboard down the stairs or using their mom’s favorite vase as a football. To their credit though, they didn’t drop it.

Clark and Jason had always been a bit of a duo. It just worked out that way. Luke and Grizz had always gotten along better, and Clark was sure the two thought they were too smart to _really_ be good friends with himself and Jason, but that didn’t really matter, because he and Jason had so much in common and always gravitated towards each other. It was rare to see one without the other at school or parties. It only changed when they had girlfriends, and since Clark didn’t have Gwen anymore, he found himself around his best friend a lot more.

Clark sat outside on a pool chair surrounded by people that he wasn’t too fond of but Jason was talking to Harry not too far away, and Clark didn’t feel like finding Luke or Gwen to hang out with in that moment, so he stayed put. Campbell joined him, sitting by his outstretched legs. Clark didn’t really know what to think of Campbell. Well, he did. He thought he was a bit of an asshole, really, but he was popular too and their groups seemed to gravitate towards each other sometimes, so Clark tolerated him.

“Hey, I got something new for you,” Campbell said as he held out a little packet with pills in it. Clark had bought drugs from him before, but only weed.

“What is it?” Clark asked.

“Just some MDMA,” the other answered, leaning in closer.

“What’s that?”

“Good shit, trust me,” Campbell’s lips curved into a sly grin.

“What’s it do?” Clark asked warily.

“It’s just a little stronger than weed. It’ll give you a good buzz, and because I like you, I’ll do you a good deal,” Campbell offered.

“I dunno man, you got any weed?” Clark asked.

“Weed is totally fucking lame, dude. This is what everyone’s doing now,” Campbell said.

“Really?”

“For sure. I’ve popped a couple already and look at me, I’m fine. Trust me, for you, it’s just two hundred,” Campbell said, shaking the little bag in front of him.

“Two hundred dollars? That’s a lot,” Clark said in awe. What drug could be worth that much for just a couple of pills?

“It’s worth it though. It’s really fuckin good, man. Top shit,” Campbell said.

He thought about it, and all eyes were on him. Clark wasn’t into drugs. He had tried them before and had some bad reactions which was why he stuck to weed, but at the same time he didn’t want to seem like a loser and, hey, maybe just this once wouldn’t hurt, right?

“Clark,” Jason spoke before he could give his answer.

“Hm?”

“Give you a game of beer pong?” Jason offered. Glad for the save, Clark nodded, getting up quickly.

“Yeah okay, you’re on,” Clark said with a grin. He joined Jason who ushered him in the other direction. And Clark knew he was saving his ass. He knew Jason stepped in because Clark needed the help, because he had trouble saying no.

“Fuck, I was sure the dumbass would fall for it,” Campbell said, and Clark heard him loud and clear, as well as the others snickering.

“He’d be stupid enough to,” Dewey, one of Campbell’s friends added.

“Don’t listen to those jackasses,” Jason said when they were far enough away.

“They’re right, I am dumb,” Clark admitted. His heart hurt. He knew he wasn’t _that_ bright, but he also thought that he had some sort of intelligence, even if it wasn’t the kind everyone valued.

“You’re not dumb, you’re just…” Jason trailed off.

“Stupid?”

“Impressionable,” Jason said.

“What’s that mean?” Clark asked, tilting his head to the side, and maybe he _was_ stupid. It was unlike Jason to use big words though.

“You’re too trusting,” Jason explained, and Clark thought he might just be right about that.

“What’s MDMA?” he asked.

“Ecstasy. And if it’s coming from Campbell it’ll probably fuck you up. So just, stick to weed, yeah?” Jason said, and Clark nodded along, feeling a bit like a child.

“Now, come, on, I’m gonna kick your ass,” Jason said. Clark merely followed his lead and they went over to where a few people had set up some tables for beer pong. It was a popular trend in their school. The two of them spotted Gwen and Becca playing on their own, with Sam watching on the sidelines.

Clark always had a bit of a funny feeling in his stomach upon seeing Sam. He wanted to like him. He wanted to be his friend. He had tried to, he really had. At the same time though, he wanted him to go the fuck away. He wanted to know what Grizz saw in him.

“Hey, Sam,” Jason flung his arm around, he guessed, their new friend. Sam waved to the both of them and Clark just nodded his head in greeting.

“Who’s winning?” Clark asked.

“Soon as I get this in, me,” Becca said triumphantly.

“I’m letting her,” Gwen said with a cocky smile.

“Lies,” Becca accused before she aimed and then tossed the ball, landing it right in Gwen’s remaining cup.

“See,” Gwen smiled, “letting her.”

“Sure, whatever you say, Gwenny,” Clark said, and he was being light-hearted, just trying to interact with her, but she promptly ignored him. It hurt. It really hurt. There was a time when he loved Gwen, and maybe he still did. He didn’t really know, but there were definitely some kind of feelings still there so it hurt when she constantly brushed him off. He knew it was partly his fault, that he came on too strong and obsessive after the break up, but he really was just trying to at least be friends again.

“Are you guys finished?” Jason asked.

“Sure, have at it,” Gwen answered him, “we’re gonna go dance!” Gwen grabbed Becca’s hand and the two of them went off back into the house.

“Stay here,” Jason said to Clark, “I’ll get some beers.”

Clark nodded, and then he was alone with Sam. He looked to him, the other boy giving a smile that even Clark could tell was awkward.

“Have you seen Grizz?” Sam asked.

Clark shook his head, no.

“He’s late, always is,” Sam smiled, and Clark knew that. Clark had been friends with Grizz for years so of course he knew that. He didn’t need Sam to tell him that. He’s, fuck, he’s jealous. He’s so jealous and this fucking crush on Grizz came out of nowhere and opened this giant door for Clark and he didn’t know how to squash the feelings. It was so easy to deny it and act like he really wasn’t into Grizz, but he was. 

“I’m gonna go find Becca and Gwen,” Sam said, and Clark just nodded in response before the boy left. He sighed in relief. It was really hard pretending that he wasn’t insanely jealous of Sam and what he had with Grizz. Clark still couldn’t figure out if he actually liked Grizz, or the idea of him. Either way, Clark wanted him. Clark also kind of wanted Jason too. He was a mess and nothing made sense, and it hurt his head to think about it.

“Here,” Jason said, handing two beers to Clark, “fill ‘em up, dude.”

So, he did. They filled the cups up evenly and got to their game. It was a welcome distraction from his jealous thoughts. The two played the game, and it was pretty fun. Hanging out with Jason was always fun, no matter what they did, because Jason was the fun friend. Everyone knew that.

“Dude, you haven’t gotten a single one even close,” Jason taunted.

“Fuck you, I’m on, like, an angle,” Clark gave the first excuse that popped into his mind to hide his lack of skills.

“Bullshit,” Jason called him out.

“Totally am.”

“You’re not, you just need better technique,” Jason said.

“Fuck technique,” Clark threw his next ball and it went too far, hitting Jason instead. Jason caught the ball and promptly threw it back towards Clark, getting it right in one of his cups.

Clark looked down at the ball before back up at Jason, “you’re cheating.”

Clark fished the ping-pong ball out and chugged the beer in the cup before taking aim for his next shot.

“Wait,” Jason demanded, putting his hand up in a ‘stop’ signal.

“What?”

Jason came over to him, and not just to him, but behind him. Clark stayed in his place, wondering what in the world the other was doing.

“Okay, first, you’re all over the place, so stand in the middle,” Jason said, and before Clark could even figure out what was happening, Jason had a hold of his hips and was guiding him to the centre of his end of the table. Clark froze as he glanced around, wondering if people were watching, but watching what exactly? Jason was just helping him, right?

“Now, take the ball,” Jason ordered. His breath hit Clark’s neck, making the hairs stand up. That had to have been on purpose, right? Clark swallowed hard and held the ball up, aiming.

“Relax your wrist,” Jason said as he brought his hand up to hold Clark’s wrist, guiding him. “Now, you’re throwing too fast. You just gotta toss it nice and gentle.”

How was Clark supposed to concentrate with Jason’s hand still on his hip? How was he supposed to concentrate when Jason was standing so _close_? Clark just did as he was told, relaxing his wrist and tossing the ball. It plopped right into one of Jason’s cups with a splash.

“There you go, you got it,” Jason said. His hand glided across Clark’s back as he stepped around him and went back to his side of the table. Clark couldn’t take his eyes of his friend out of sheer curiosity. Jason watched him right back, their eyes not leaving the other’s as Jason downed his drink and slammed the cup down.

“Problem?” Jason asked, eyebrow raised in an innocent look. Only, it wasn’t so innocent. There was something behind the look, a gleam, a challenge, even. Clark had been going back and forth in his head wondering if there really was something going on or if he was just imagining it, and the way Jason was looking at him made him think that, yeah, something was going on. Jason was flirting, again, he was almost positive of it. It had Clark thinking that maybe they could revisit the whole friends with benefits thing.

“No,” Clark finally answered, “no problem. Your turn.”

Jason smirked before picking up the ball and having his go. He missed. Clark went, and he got his in. They kept going and it quickly became apparent that Jason was losing on purpose, at least enough for Clark to catch up.

“Are you letting me win?” Clark asked, eying him suspiciously.

“Maybe,” Jason winked. And it was so odd, because to Clark, it was more than obvious now that Jason was flirting with him, but to everyone else surrounding them, they didn’t know a thing, because on the outside they were still acting as _just_ friends. It honestly gave Clark a bit of a thrill.

Before Clark took his last shot, Grizz turned up. Clark’s stomach flipped at the sight of him, because fuck, he looked _real_ good. _Stop it_, Clark told himself. He knew Grizz wasn’t on the table. Grizz was Sam’s. Grizz made it clear he was not interested, and yet Clark still had a stupid school boy crush he couldn’t seem to shake. Maybe Jason would help him out with that.

“Hey guys,” Grizz greeted.

“Hey Grizzy, you’re just in time to see Clark lose,” Jason said, poking his tongue out. It was enough to distract Clark and return his playful glare.

“Maybe I’m doing it on purpose to get free beer,” Clark shrugged, “I could win if I wanted to.”

It wasn’t a total lie. After Jason’s guidance, Clark totally could have won. They each had one cup left, and it was Clark’s turn.

“Oh yeah? Go for it. Get the ball in,” Jason challenged.

“What do I get if I do?” Clark asked.

“I’ll blow you,” Jason teased, and it was a normal enough thing for Jason to say that Grizz wouldn’t be suspicious, but Clark noticed that familiar gleam in his eye, and well, he freaked a little with Grizz there.

“Fucking fag,” Clark joked before realizing his mistake. He glanced at Grizz guiltily, “sorry.”

Grizz merely rolled his eyes and ignored the comment, “you guys seen Sam?”

Pushing back his annoyance at Sam’s name, Clark answered, “yeah, he was just here a few minutes ago with Becca and Gwen.”

Clark turned back to the game, carefully lining up the ball with Jason’s cup. With a boost of confidence, he tossed the ball and it hit the rim of the cup before bouncing right in.

“Ha!” Clark shouted in victory, “I fuckin’ told you I could win if I wanted to, bro.”

“Whatever, dude. You just got lucky,” Jason countered as he tossed his remaining ping pong ball at Clark. Clark laughed it off as he set up his cups again.

“Play again?” Clark offered hopefully, only when he looked up, he noticed Jason wasn’t looking at him. He was looking past him. Clark turned, seeing Erica with a few of her friends. She was looking right back at Jason with a smile.

“Nah, man. I got a date with that cutie over there,” Jason said with a nod towards the girl. And Clark’s stomach dropped. Maybe he was wrong about the flirting after all. 

“Oh, okay, cool,” Clark said flippantly.

“Dude, she’s so keen to hook up tonight. Wish me luck,” Jason said, wiggling his eyebrows. The boy downed his beer before slamming the cup down and heading off.

“Good luck!” Grizz called out. Clark stared at where Jason left, a bit confused, because he couldn’t have been imagining the energy going on right? He could feel Grizz watching him with a frown.

“What?” Clark asked defensively.

“I didn’t say anything,” Grizz shrugged.

Clark shifted on his feet uncomfortably before gesturing back to the house, “I need a drink. You coming?”

Grizz shrugged, “I’m not drinking tonight, but I’ll come with.”

The two head inside, chatting as they went, and Clark got himself a drink with a lot of vodka in it. He figured he might need it to forgot just how fucking lonely he felt. After running into a few classmates, they ended up in the living room. Clark followed Grizz to where Luke was on a couch, with Helena on his lap. They were cute, very cute, and Clark missed having Gwen as his girlfriend so they could do that.

“Hey!” Grizz got their attention as he got to them. He sat on the arm of the couch while Clark stood by his side.

“When did you get here?” Luke asked.

“Not long ago,” Grizz replied.

And Clark tuned out, because his eyes landed on something that had the jealousy raging inside of him once again. He hated that he was a jealous person, he really did. He almost destroyed his friendship with Grizz because he thought he was into Gwen. And yet, he couldn’t help the frustration bubbling up as he looked out at the mass of people dancing and caught sight of Erica and Jason grinding up against each other.

Not only was Clark jealous, but he was mad, because what the fuck? He felt as though Jason was fucking with him, knowing Clark was questioning, or had been, and making all those comments and giving those looks all day was doing Clark’s head in, and he couldn’t stand seeing them like that.

“Fuck this,” Clark muttered, and he was so out of there. Maybe there was some random girl he could hook up with. He didn’t quite make it back to the kitchen to get himself another drink though, because someone latched onto his arm. He turned to see Grizz, who pulled him into the corner of the room, a little away from everyone.

“Hey, what’s going on, man?” Grizz asked as he tucked his getting-too-long hair behind his ear.

“What?”

“Are you, what…jealous?” Grizz asked. How did Grizz see that? Was he really that smart? Did everyone else clue in? No, surely not. Grizz was the only person that knew about the kiss between himself and Jason.

“No,” Clark snorted in denial.

“Clark…” Grizz encouraged, and he looked at Clark in that way that told him Grizz knew he was hiding something, that he was holding back, and well, he was so fucking frustrated.

“What? I just don’t get it, okay? He makes out with me one night and then it’s like _nothing_ happened and now he’s all over her,” Clark snapped, purposefully leaving out how he was sure they had been flirting all fucking day. He probably sounded crazy to Grizz.

“So, you’re jealous,” Grizz said bluntly.

“Stop saying that,” he whispered harshly, glancing around at anyone nearby, making sure they weren’t listening in.

“Then why are you mad he’s with her?” Grizz asked.

“I don’t know,” Clark murmured, and Grizz just kept looking at him, waiting. “Okay listen, I’m not, like…into him, okay? I’m not. But…”

“But?” Grizz prompted.

“He offered friends with benefits, right? And I turned it down,” Clark admitted. He wouldn’t be having this problem if he just said yes instead of being a fucking coward.

“And now you want to change your mind?” Grizz asked.

“Have you seen him shirtless and sweaty, Grizz? He damn near killed me earlier today,” he groaned. If anyone was going to understand, it’d be Grizz.

“I still think it’s a bad idea, but if you want to hook up with him then why not tell him and he might want to hook up too?” Grizz suggested.

“Because he’s clearly into Erica,” Clark gestured to the two still dry humping each other. He couldn’t bear to look at them. Grizz did though. Clark watched him watching them and Grizz’s eyes went wide.

“Holy shit,” Grizz whispered. It was loud in there but Clark noticed the way his lips moved.

“What?”

“You guys are fucking stupid,” Grizz said, looking back at him.

“Woah, lay off, man. We can’t all have it figured out like you, fuckface,” Clark spat. He really did hate the way Grizz always spoke to him like he was an idiot. 

“You seriously think I have it all figured out? Dude, my boyfriend is over there and I’m too scared to go and even _talk_ to him in front of everyone,” Grizz said.

“Okay…okay…whatever. At least you know you like each other. I’m not even _into_ Jason like that I just wanna…” Clark trailed off again, looking over at Jason, at the way he moved, the way he was holding Erica, how his lips touched her neck.

“Wanna what?” Grizz asked. 

“He’s so fucking hot,” Clark admitted, “and I didn’t even realize it before we kissed, but he is. I wanna fucking jump him, Grizz.”

“You need to talk to him before he ends up in bed with Erica then,” Grizz said. 

“I thought you were against this,” Clark asked in confusion, looking back at his friend.

“I’m against you fucking up your friendship,” Grizz pointed out.

Clark looked back over at Jason, who had Erica’s back to his chest, his arm around her waist. She grinded on him. So much fucking grinding. And then, Jason looked up, his eyes connecting with Clark’s, and he didn’t drop his gaze. It was like a car accident. Clark couldn’t look away.

“Get some balls, Clark. Tell him what you want,” Grizz said before patting him on the chest and leaving him there. Clark watched him go over to Sam, and then right there, in front of everyone, kissed him.

“Well, shit,” Clark muttered to himself, because Grizz hadn’t come out to anyone except his friends. Clark wasn’t expecting him to do that. A lot of people weren’t, but Clark didn’t really care. He stayed in his corner, watching Jason.

It just…sucked. That was all Clark could think. Jason had Erica. Grizz had Sam. Luke had Helena. And Clark? He had no one. He used to be like them, with Gwen. He supposed it would probably be easy to get someone, and maybe that was what he should do. He should stop sulking and try to have fun. He would forget about his crush on Grizz and attraction to Jason and focus on someone else.

Clark went and got himself a new beer before going to join his friends again, sitting on the arm of the chair by Sam and Grizz, the newly outed couple. He chatted to them for a bit before whipping out his phone and going straight to his Grindr app. He had downloaded it not too long ago, and he didn’t put his name on there, or his face, just his body.

It was nice to flirt with guys through text, just to test the waters, and it made him feel good about himself when they’d comment on how hot he was. The conversations never went far though and as soon as they’d suggest meeting up, Clark wouldn’t answer, and he knew it was kind of a shitty thing to do, to lead these random guys on, but he wasn’t ready to meet up with a stranger.

“Holy fuck, I just had to see it for myself,” a whiney, snarky voice spoke. Clark looked up, seeing Dewey and a couple of younger guys standing before them. Clark didn’t like Dewey. He was a dick, always, had been, and thought he was top shit, but Clark knew otherwise.

“What’s your problem, pin dick?” Gwen, who had joined them a little while ago and was sitting on the floor by Grizz’s feet, asked. Clark snickered at the comment.

“I have no problem. I just wanted to see if it were true and witness the freakshow for myself,” Dewey said with a snide smile. Clark looked to Grizz, and well, he was mad for him, but also for himself, for Jason, for Sam. What the fuck did this Dewey kid think he was doing?

“Walk away, Dewey,” Grizz was pissed. Clark could hear it in his voice, but his friend stayed put by Sam’s side.

“Seriously? You’re like the only person here with a problem,” Helena said.

“Really, Helena? You preach at Sunday school like every week and you’re telling me you’re okay with this abomination?” Dewey asked. _Abomination?__ Clark wasn’t really sure what that meant but he knew it wasn’t good. And all his friends were just sitting there fuming and just, nope. Clark was not in the mood. _

“You just gonna sit there, Grizz?” Clark asked.

“He’s not worth the sore hand,” Grizz said, his eyes focused on Dewey in a challenge. That wasn’t good enough for Clark.

“Good thing I throw a good punch,” Clark said simply, “hold my beer.” He thrust his cup into Grizz’s hand, and without a single moment’s hesitation, Clark was up and threw his fist in Dewey’s direction, connecting with his jaw.

The skinnier boy tumbled into his friends, screeching at the impact, but Clark didn’t give a single fuck. He knew the punch would start something so he wasn’t surprised when Dewey’s two, younger friends pounced on him, swinging punches. Clark fought them off, the rage burning hotter and hotter inside him, and maybe he was just letting out all of his frustrations on them.

One of them hit him in the cheek, and Clark spun around, hitting them in the stomach. Another hit to his head. Clark stumbled back, almost falling to the floor. He heard people shouting to stop, and he thought he was on his own to fight these cowards, until Jason showed up, tossing one of the guys off Clark right before he could get a hit in.

It was all happening so quickly. Clark saw red, wanting to hurt the fuckers for even _thinking_ something bad about Grizz. Jason was up for a fight. He always was, and the two had it covered. Dewey was weak as shit, and the others were worse, but Dewey had this unfound confidence in him. He went after Clark again, and Clark was ready for him, fists raised, only it didn’t get to that, because Grizz stood between them, he and Jason on one side, Dewey and his friends on the other.

Clark could barely hear anything around them. He only saw Dewey, and he wanted to hurt him. He wanted to wipe the smug smile right off his face. He wanted to punch someone, or something. Anything. He went to go them again, only Jason appeared in front of him, pushing him back.

“Stop, bro! It’s done!” Jason yelled at him, the only voice piercing through his rage bubble.

Clark’s eyes landed on Jason in a glare, because yeah, maybe half of his anger was directed towards him too. Nothing made fucking sense and nothing felt right. He was going to explode. Before he could, he stormed right out off the room, deciding to remove himself from the situation.

“Fucking asshole!” Clark shouted, scaring the few people in the hall, not that he cared.

He barged into the bathroom, thankful no one was in there and slammed the door shut. He wanted to hit something, to throw something, to just scream. He wanted to go back out there and fuck Dewey up. He paced back and forth, trying to think of what to do, arguing with himself to stay in that room.

The door opened and Clark was ready to fight whoever it was, but when he saw it was Jason, well, he didn’t want to fight. He wanted to get away from him. He stormed out past him, knocking his shoulder on the way. Jason chased him, grabbing his wrist and without a word dragged him into an empty bedroom. He shut and locked the door behind him.

“Calm down,” Jason said as if he were approaching a wild animal.

“Don’t tell me to calm down. That fucker had it coming!” Clark shouted.

“Yeah, he did, but calm down,” Jason repeated, taking a step towards him.

“Don’t!” Clark yelled and without thinking, hit the closest wall, making a dent. Jason took hold of his hand and pushed him away, standing between him and the wall.

“Bro, just close your eyes and breathe for a minute,” Jason said.

“I don’t want to,” Clark argued, stomping his foot like a child.

“Humor me then,” Jason said. He and Jason had been in this predicament before, where Clark got too worked up after a fight, and Jason would often force him to calm down. It was just another thing that was routine for them.

Clark ended up doing what he was told. He closed his eyes and breathed in slowly, and exhaled. He did it a few times, eventually feeling his heart slow down and his temper disappear. He was still pretty pissed at what happened, but after a couple of minutes he got back to normal.

“I think we might have made them cry, ya know?” Jason said.

Clark laughed and opened his eyes, looking at Jason who had since let go of his hand and was leaning against the door, arms crossed over his chest.

“I didn’t mean to lose it,” Clark said.

“They deserved it.”

“Yeah, they did. Did you hear what they were saying about Grizz?” Clark asked.

“Not really, but I got it eventually,” Jason shrugged.

“Why are people like that?” Clark asked. He genuinely didn’t get it.

“Some people are just dicks,” Jason sighed as he uncrossed his arms and shoved his hands in his pockets instead.

“Do you get that at all? Like when you’re in the city, or at clubs?” Clark asked.

“At clubs, no, because I go to gay clubs. Sometimes walking out of them, yeah,” Jason nodded.

“What do you do?” Clark asked.

“Ignore them.”

“That easy, huh?”

“That easy. Or you could punch them in the face. You got a mean right hook you know?” Jason complimented.

Clark smiled, nodding, “yeah, that you taught me.”

“I taught the others too, Luke, Grizz and Gwen. Helena already knows how to fight,” Jason said.

“Right, not that Grizz would ever put it to good use. I can’t even count the amount of times we’ve gotten into fights for him because he won’t do anything,” Clark said.

Jason laughed, nodding along, “you’re right.”

Clark laughed along with him, and for a moment it was just calm. Clark had let go of his anger, and the two stood there, looking at each other. Clark wondered what his friend was thinking, whether he had been just as confused about what was going on between them as he was.

“You wanna go back out?” Clark asked.

“Not really,” Jason said, not moving an inch.

“What do you wanna do then?” Clark asked.

“What do you wanna do?” Jason countered. There it was again, that look. And well, Clark was sick of it. Maybe two could play at that game.

“You still owe me that blow job,” Clark joked. Jason’s eyebrow shot up. Fuck, maybe he didn’t see it as a joke. Maybe it _wasn’t_ a joke.

“Do I now?” Jason asked, pushing himself away from the door and stepping towards Clark.

“I’m just kidding,” Clark laughed, “I mean…unless that’s something you’re, like…into…”

“I fuckin’ knew it!” Jason blurted out, clapping his hands in front of him.

“What do you mean you knew it?” Clark asked quickly in a panic. He _knew_ he shouldn’t have said anything. He just knew it.

“You, like, avoiding me last night and today at my place…I was like trying to figure out if you were into it and you so are,” Jason said with the biggest smile, like he was proud of himself or something.

“Wait, what the fuck, you were testing me?” Clark asked. He knew he wasn’t insane!

“Dude…” Jason said with a tilt of his head, eyebrows raised.

“What?”

Jason kept looking at him pointedly, waiting for Clark to give in, and Clark had been so pent up with frustration and confusion that he just couldn’t deny it any longer.

“Okay, okay, so like, fuck, I liked the kiss okay?” he finally admitted.

“What’s so bad about that?” Jason asked.

“You’re _Jason_,” Clark gestured wildly at him.

Jason smirked, stepping forward, “hooking up doesn’t have to mean anything. It can just be about feeling good. Getting off.”

Clark went silent. There it was. The offer, again. The offer that Clark really wanted to say yes to, but his tongue was glued to the top of his mouth and no words were coming out. After a minute, Jason rolled his eyes, turning to the door.

“Look, if you’re not into it, then fine. I think you’re in denial, but whatever, I’m gonna go find Erica,” Jason said.

“Wait!” Clark finally found his words just as Jason placed his hand on the door handle.

“What?” Jason turned.

Clark was scared. He wasn’t really sure what of because he trusted Jason not to make fun of him or whatever, but maybe it was that admitting this, that asking for it _again_ was admitting something, that it would make him officially gay, even if he knew he wasn’t. Jason came over to him, waiting.

“I think…” Clark started, “I want to…do…the thing.”

“What thing?” Jason asked.

“The...friends with benefits thing. Maybe,” Clark said.

“Maybe?”

“I don’t know,” Clark groaned.

“Why don’t we hook up and see if you’re into it first?” Jason suggested.

“Are you into it?” Clark asked curiously.

“I told you, I like the idea of a fuck buddy close to home,” Jason said. And what? _Fuck?_

Clark shook his head quickly, “I’m not gonna fuck you tonight.”

“We don’t have to,” Jason laughed, “you want to experiment, right? Let’s experiment, no strings attached. No weirdness. No feelings. Just…making each other come.”

Clark liked the sound of that. He made it sound so easy, and Clark really did want to experiment. Grizz said no and he almost lost the first opportunity with Jason, so this was his chance, right?

“We can cut it off if I decide I’m not into it, right? You won’t be mad?” Clark asked.

“I won’t be mad,” Jason confirmed.

Clark nodded slowly. Wow, that was kind of easy. So, they were actually going to do it?

“Okay…so…what do we do?” Clark asked.

Jason nodded towards the bed before going over. Clark could do nothing except follow him and the two sat side by side, slightly facing each other. Clark was nervous, really nervous, because he was so confident when it came to girls, but a guy? He had no clue where to start.

“Touch me,” Jason said.

“What?”

“Touch me,” he repeated.

“_You_ touch _me_,” Clark argued.

Jason smirked, leaning back on the bed, propping himself up on his elbows.

“I will, but not until I know you’re not gonna freak out after touching me. I ain’t gonna make you come now if you’re just gonna leave me hanging after you got what you wanted,” he explained, and it made sense, Clark thought.

“What do I…do?” Clark asked dumbly.

“Touch my dick?” Jason suggested.

Just like that? Just touch him? Fuck. Clark had never touched another guy’s dick before. He was kind of scared that he wouldn’t like it, that he’d be grossed out by it, that all of this inner turmoil was for nothing. But, he was so determined to try, to explore this with Jason. He finally had his opportunity right there in front of him.

Clark placed his hand on Jason’s thigh for starters. He rubbed it up and down slowly. He thought about what he would do with a girl. They would make out first, and he wondered if he should try kissing Jason but he wasn’t sure if that was crossing a line, which was ridiculous because one, he was about to touch his dick, and two, they had kissed before, but that was just testing shit out. Clark wasn’t sure if kissing was something that wasn’t sexual enough, because they were going to be fuck buddies, not kiss buddies. Clark’s head hurt.

“I want a handjob, not a thigh job, but take your time,” Jason teased.

Clark glared at him, and as if accepting a challenge, in complete determination, he cupped Jason’s crotch in his hand.

“There you go,” Jason praised. Clark felt a warmth go through his chest. That wasn’t too hard. In fact, he felt a little relieved that he just did it.

Clark palmed him through his jeans, and at first, he couldn’t feel much, but then Jason began to grow and fill out the space in his jeans. The bulge got bigger and harder under his hand, and Clark felt a kind of power. It felt good to turn Jason on, and he was proud of himself for doing so. Clark found himself wanting him to get harder, wanting to make him come.

“If you keep this up, bro, I’m gonna come in my pants,” Jason chuckled, but his breathing was just that little bit heavier, and shit, Clark was getting turned on, really fucking turned on.

Clark didn’t say a thing. He just nodded at Jason’s hidden request and undid his belt, the buttons on his jeans and pulled down the zip. Jason shimmied out of his jeans, pushing them to his thighs. _Holy fuck._ There was Jason’s cock, just right there, right in front of Clark. He had seen it before, in the locker room after gym or football practice, but not since he had started questioning himself.

It was kind of a strange situation, because he had a penis himself, and he was very familiar with it, but looking at Jason’s right there felt like looking at an alien object.

“It’ll win in a staring competition, you know,” Jason joked.

“Fuck off,” Clark snapped.

“Are you gonna jerk me off, or what? You can still back out,” Jason offered.

Clark shook his head. He was doing this. He wanted to. He couldn’t deny that this turned him on, that he wasn’t disgusted or grossed out. He wanted this. Without further hesitation, Clark wrapped his hand around Jason’s width. He felt so hot, so warm, and it sent tingles running through Clark. Taking things that little bit further, Clark stroked him. He was officially jerking off his best friend.

“I don’t exactly hate this,” Clark admitted.

“Me either, bro,” Jason said with a smirk.

Clark kept going, picking up his speed a little. It was hot, so fucking hot. He never thought holding another guys cock in his hand like that would do this to him, but he was getting all worked up, and it was a bit of a thrill watching as Jason got fully hard in his hand.

“You can suck me off if you want,” Jason said, a bit of hope clear in his voice.

Clark thought for a moment before shaking his head, “this is fine.”

“W-whatever suits,” Jason breathed. Clark glanced at his face, seeing that he was a bit flustered. Clark held back his own smile. Jason looked back at Clark, and Clark didn’t like that. He wasn’t really sure what it was about Jason watching him that he didn’t like.

“Stop looking at me, dude,” Clark snapped.

“Just checking if you’re into it,” Jason said.

“I’m fucking hard. Of course I’m into it,” he admitted, and God, he would be embarrassed if he weren’t so turned on.

“For real?” Jason asked, eyebrows raised in question.

Clark nodded.

“Get on top,” Jason demanded.

“What?”

“Get on top. It’s easier.”

Still not know exactly what he was doing, Clark decided to take Jason’s direction. He shifted, getting on top of him, one knee between his legs, the other against his outer thigh. He was right, it was a better angle, for Jason, anyway. Clark realized it pretty quickly when the other undid his jeans, loosening them up before shoving his hand down past his boxers.

Clark let out a moan as he grinded down against Jason’s hand. Fuck. Jesus, _fuck_. He was so, incredibly horny and Jason was _touching_ him and it was just so different to a girl. Who knew a hand could be so different? Clark kept grinding into Jason’s hand as his own stroked his friend, getting quicker and quicker with every squeeze Jason gave him.

“Please stop looking at me,” Clark said when their eyes met for a second.

“Why? You shy?” Jason teased.

No, he wasn’t shy, but it was weird having his best friend look at him while he was all horny and shit, with their hands on each other’s dicks. Jason was still looking at him, probably just to annoy him, Clark decided. Clark leant down, resting his forehead on the space between Jason’s shoulder and neck.

Jason took Clark out of his pants, freeing him from the confines as he jerked him off quicker, and just like on the treadmills earlier that day, Clark matched his speed. Clark breathed heavily, knowing he wasn’t going to last very long because, well, it had been a while since he had been with anyone and being with Jason, a _man_, had turned him on a way he hadn’t really felt before. And it was good, really fucking good.

“If we…continue this,” Jason spoke through a moan, “we can talk about what we’re into and what you wanna try.”

“Okay.”

“Just letting you know now, I like when people bite and kiss my neck,” Jason said.

Something changed when Jason said that. It had all been about Clark’s curiosity, seeing if he would like being with a guy, but with that one statement, Clark found himself wanting to make Jason feel good. Not just good though, he wanted to blow his fucking mind, and sure, maybe this first time wouldn’t do the trick, but he could at least try.

Clark had been so close to Jason’s neck that it didn’t take much for him to press his lips to the soft skin. He mouthed it, kissing, sucking and biting all over. Jason groaned, his breathing getting heavier. He thrust his hips up, pushing himself harder against Clark’s hand.

“Faster,” Jason pleaded.

Clark stroked him faster while Jason’s own hand gave Clark a few sharp tugs, while his other hand tangled in Clark’s hair, keeping him at his neck. Clark bit his collarbone, nipping along it, making Jason hiss.

“Fuck, bro, I’m gonna come,” Jason told him. 

“Really?” Clark was surprised. Not because it was happening so soon, but because wow, he fucking did it!

“Uh huh, don’t stop,” Jason begged.

Clark didn’t want to miss this. He looked down as Jason bucked his hips, sliding himself in and out of Clark’s hand. He grunted and not a second later he climaxed, coming over his own shirt and Clark’s hand, not that that bothered Clark at all, surprisingly. It was a fucking mess, but damn it, it was fucking hot.

“Holy shit, dude, I made you come!” Clark said, a mixture of awe and pride filling his tone.

“Yeah you did,” Jason sighed with a smile, “you did good.” That only made Clark smile wider.

“We messed up your shirt,” Clark said.

“I have a spare in my car,” Jason said. He let go of Clark, much to his dismay, and pushed him away. Clark was a little confused as Jason took his shirt off, tossing it to the floor. It looked as though Jason was getting off the bed, but instead of leaving, he sunk to his knees and pulled Clark to the edge of the bed by his thighs.

“What are you-,” Clark’s words were cut off when Jason’s warm mouth circled around his cock. He was a bit taken off guard, but he wasn’t complaining. “Fuck, dude. You don’t…have to…fuck…”

Jason hummed, the vibrations shooting right through Clark. That was just enough to send him over the edge.

“I’m ‘bout to c-come,” Clark warned.

Jason pulled back, his mouth not even having been on Clark for more than thirty seconds. He wrapped his hand around Clark’s length and jerked him off quickly. Clark couldn’t take it anymore. He didn’t even know how he lasted that long to begin with. He was sure if he hadn’t jerked off at Jason’s house earlier that day then he would have lasted about a minute, tops.

Clark gripped the bed sheets as he came into Jason’s hand. He had a lot of hand jobs in his time, but that one? That took the cake. He panted, trying to catch his breath back as he came down from his high. And he always came down. There was always reality waiting from him at the bottom. And the reality was; he just jerked of his friend, and his friend jerked him off and blew him. It was surreal.

He replayed the last few moments in his head over and over again as Jason let go of him and sat back on the bed, wiping his hand on his ruined t-shirt. Clark sat up and pulled his jeans back up, doing up the belt.

“Just so you know, I’m not usually like that,” Clark said.

“Like what?”

“I don’t just do as I’m told in bed,” Clark said, and he really needed Jason to know that. He wasn’t really sure why.

“You mean to tell me you didn’t let Gwen boss you around?” he asked.

He was right about that, but he didn’t need to know that, “no. I’m, like, super dominant, dude. This is just new and shit and I don’t know what to do.”

“You can do to me whatever feels good. That’s if you wanna keep this up?” Jason asked.

Clark would be stupid to say no. He obviously liked that. They both did. He wasn’t going to say no again.

“Yeah, if you want,” Clark said, eyeing Jason carefully.

“Oh, I want,” Jason nodded.

“Cool.”

“Yeah, cool,” Jason said with a grin, “now let’s get back out there before people start wondering where we are.”

Clark nodded as he stood and fixed himself up a bit. He felt himself relax. They probably still had to sort out boundaries and shit, but it was settled, they were officially friends with benefits.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well that was a long-ish one. hope you all like!!!! <3


	3. Careful, bro.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2 recap: Clark and Jason worked out together and Clark was turned on as heck but turned out Jason was trying to seduce him on purpose. They went to Allie's party and Clark got jealous as heck over Jason and Erica, but after Clark got into a fight and Jason went to go check on him, Clark gave in to his urges towards him and they fooled around. Good times.
> 
> Warning for sexual content in this chapter. I promise it's not gonna be all like this. I just gotta get past the whole FWB stuff before it can be more about feelings n stuff lol. There is plot!! I swear!!
> 
> This chapter is set between chapters 40 and 42 of Vulnerable. There are a few weeks that passed in that story and the next couple chapters of this one will cover that.

Clark sat in math class, chewing on his bottom lip as he tried to figure out the equation in front of him. He thought it was dumb that they were still learning new things despite them graduating in a few weeks, and it wasn’t like he was going to use algebra in his life, like, ever. In his opinion, math was a waste of time.

“Hey,” Jason whispered next to him. Clark looked over, seeing his best friend leaning closer, “come over tonight.”

“It’s not Friday though?” Clark said, because that was when he usually went over for dinner with his family, right? Jason hadn’t said anything before about wanting to hang out.

“I know, but…come over tonight,” Jason said with a smirk and a sparkle in his eyes. He licked his lips, and, oh. _That_ was what he wanted. Since Allie’s party a few nights ago, Clark had been wondering when, or if, they were going to hook up again.

“Jason and Clark,” their teacher warned.

Jason sat back, casually slouching in his seat as if he hadn’t just given Clark that look. They didn’t speak any more for the rest of the lesson. They hadn’t really spoken since the party. After they hooked up, they went to help Grizz out with a very weird situation before getting right back to partying, and drinking a whole damn lot. They still spoke just as friends, but not about what happened.

Clark wasn’t stressing too much about what was going on with them. He actually found it exciting. They established they were going to be friends with benefits, and somehow it didn’t feel like it would affect their friendship. It was just something they were going to do behind closed doors, Clark guessed. They hadn’t discussed boundaries yet. Clark wasn’t too sure if he even had any himself.

The bell rang and the moment their teachers dismissed them, Clark threw his books in his bag and slung it over his shoulder. He was desperate to get out of there because he needed to catch Grizz before lunch.

“Hey,” Jason said, grabbing his arm before he could head out, “tonight? Yes or no?”

“Yeah, I’ll be there,” Clark nodded.

“Cool, see you later then, bro,” Jason said, holding out his fist for a bump, which Clark gladly gave him before Jason let go and he was free to leave.

Clark knew where Grizz would be. He would be where he always was, with _Sam_. The name still left a bitter taste on Clark’s tongue, but he really was trying to get over it, because Sam was actually a pretty cool guy and he had a feeling he was here to stay. Clark made his way to the hallway with Sam’s locker, and sure enough, there Grizz was, leaning against it and talking to him.

“Grizz!” Clark called out as he rushed over to them. Grizz turned to look at him, Sam watching him too. Sam was always just _watching_. It was fucking weird. It was like he was always interested in what he was doing. Clark didn’t like it.

“Hey,” Grizz nodded in greeting.

“Hey, can we talk?” Clark asked. Grizz was smart, and he knew about all of this gay shit, so he was the only one Clark could really talk to.

“Uh, sure,” Grizz nodded, looking at him with concern. He turned to Sam and signed something before and spun back around to Clark, nodding in the direction of a nearby classroom that was empty. The two walked in, shutting the door behind them.

“What’s wrong?” Grizz asked.

“What was it like giving a blowjob for the first time?” Clark asked. He eyed Grizz carefully, ready to take some mental notes because he really needed the help here.

Grizz blinked a few times before realizing what Clark said, but still, he seemed confused, “I’m sorry, what?”

Clark sighed before he explained, “I’m going to Jason’s tonight and I think that might be what he wants. I mean, I can’t get away with handjobs forever, right?”

“Wait, what? Jason?” Grizz asked, “isn’t he back with Erica?”

“Not since the party. Keep up, dude,” Clark said. And there Clark was thinking Grizz was the smart one of the group.

“So, you hooked up at the party?” Grizz asked.

“Yeah, kind of. And now he asked me over tonight, so, blowjobs,” Clark got back to it, “did it gross you out the first time you gave one?”

Grizz frowned as he thought about it before shaking his head, “uh no, it didn’t.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’m gay and I like dick?” Grizz questioned, a bit unsure, “dude, if you don’t want to blow him, then don’t.”

“But what if I do?” Clark asked.

“Do you?” Grizz asked back.

Did he? Jesus, he wasn’t sure. Having another guy’s dick in his mouth? That would be pretty gay, right? And Clark was only a _little_ gay. Was there such a think as a gay scale where the more you did the gayer you were? Clark’s head hurt thinking about it.

“Well…I mean, I used to think even touching another dude’s dick would be gross, but the other night was actually kind of hot. I made him come, you know?” Clark said proudly.

“Dude, I don’t mind you coming to me for advice but I do _not_ need that much detail about you and Jason, like, ever,” Grizz said.

“Sorry. Do you think I should give it a go though?” Clark asked.

“I don’t know, maybe. When in Rome,” Grizz shrugged.

“I’m not in Rome?” Clark asked in confusion.

“No, dude, it’s a saying. Doesn’t matter. Just do whatever you feel like doing. He can’t make you do anything you don’t want to, and he wouldn’t anyway,” Grizz said. Clark supposed he had a point there.

“Right, right,” Clark nodded. Maybe he should do it. He was hooking up with Jason so he could experiment, right? So he could see just how gay he was, so, he should try new things.

“Clark,” Grizz said, watching him with narrowed eyes and that all-knowing look, “are you into Jason? Like more than just hooking up?”

“What?” Clark snorted, “no.”

“Okay…because you two are really close as it is. You don’t wanna go getting confused,” Grizz said.

“Nah dude, I’m good. It’s just, like, experimenting,” Clark explained.

“Okay, just be safe. I gotta get back out to Sam or he’ll probably think we’re hooking up or something,” Grizz said with a bit of a laugh. 

“Oh, right,” Clark let out an elaborate laugh, “sure, go, thanks for the help.”

“Anytime,” Grizz nodded, and then he was out of there, leaving Clark alone.

Clark let out a sigh of relief knowing Grizz hadn’t picked up on his reaction to the comment about them hooking up. Because, it was laughable to Grizz, right? That they would ever hook up? At least this whole thing with Jason was a good distraction from the feelings towards Grizz he was trying so hard to suppress. He did, however, find his stomach hurting just a little less every time he saw Grizz because he would just think about what he could do with Jason now instead. He wondered how long that would work for.

\---

Clark sat on the floor of Jason’s living room by the coffee table. Jason sat next to him, with his two younger sisters, twins, both ten, to his other side, and one of Jason’s older brothers, mom and dad across from them. They were having a pretty intense game of Uno. They had finished dinner long ago and one of the twins, Maria, begged them all to play the game with her.

“You win again, Cindy,” Clark said to Jason’s mom as he tossed his remaining cards in the pile.

“You can’t match these wits,” Cindy said with a warm grin.

“Mom, it’s not wits. It’s luck,” Jason said.

“We’ll just have to agree to disagree, honey,” she said.

Clark couldn’t help but grin at the two of them. He honestly adored hanging out with Jason and his family. It was always the highlight of his week. Clark loved his own family, but his parents were a little dull, and his sister was quiet. Being at Jason’s house was the polar opposite. It was always filled with noise and laughter and he got along with Jason’s brothers, or at least the one older one that lived with them, and Jason’s parents treated him as their own. It was just fun, pure and simple.

“Another game!” Maria begged, already dealing out the cards.

“Nah, we’re out,” Jason said as he got up, hitting Clark’s shoulder as he did, “I wanna show Clark this new band I’m into.”

“No, Clark, stay!” Maria whined as she clung onto Clark’s arm. It was no secret to him or anyone else there that Maria had been harboring a giant crush on him.

“Next time I’ll play as many games as you want me to,” Clark said.

“Leave the boys alone, Maria,” Cindy said.

The girl reluctantly let go of him before Clark stood up, standing by Jason.

“Not too loud,” Cindy warned, “the girls will be off to bed soon.”

“We’ll be quiet,” Jason assured her as he glanced at Clark, “right, Clark?”

Clark cleared his throat as he tore his eyes from Jason and nodded, “not too loud. Promise.”

“Alright, goodnight,” Cindy said.

“Night,” Jason answered, taking Clark’s wrist.

“Thanks for dinner!” Clark said before he was dragged from the room.

“Quiet,” Jason snorted as the headed up the stairs, “good thing my parent’s room is at the other end of the house.”

Clark didn’t say anything. Whenever he was at Jason’s house, he felt like he was part of the family. It was comfortable, but that night he had been nervous, mostly because he wasn’t entirely sure what he was there for. Were they hanging or like normal? Or did Jason want to keep hooking up? All Clark knew was that he wanted to hook up with him, really bad. He couldn’t stop replaying Saturday night in his head and how hot it was. He was eager to do it again. But, coming onto a guy? That was all new to Clark, and well, he just really hoped Jason would start something.

They went into Jason’s room, Jason shutting and locking the door behind him before letting go of Clark’s wrist. Clark went over to the bed as he always did and flopped down on it. He lay back on one side, leaning on his elbow, making himself comfortable, and out of habit he took his phone from his pocket to scroll through Facebook.

At the sound of music, Clark looked up at Jason over at his desk where his laptop and speakers were. Jason was into rock music, mostly. Clark wasn’t that into it, but he was used to it because it was all that Jason played. He knew it well enough to know that Jason had been playing this one band for months.

“This isn’t new,” Clark said.

“No shit,” Jason laughed, “needed an excuse to get you alone.”

Oh.

Clark eyes stayed glued to Jason as he came over to the bed and knelt on the mattress, one knee between Clark’s thighs, the other on the outer. Glancing to Jason’s lips, and back to his eyes, Clark felt a rush of warmth course through his veins. Hook up it was then.

“Dude, I have been so fucking horny all day,” Jason told him as he took Clark’s phone from him, tossing it to the side.

“Really?”

“Uh huh,” Jason nodded, “so, are you gonna help me out with that, or what?”

“I-I guess,” Clark stuttered.

“You guess?” Jason asked with a frown, “are you still into this or? I mean, we don’t have to.”

“No!” Clark shouted, “I mean, I want to. I totally want to.”

Jason grinned and moved a little closer. He slid his hand up Clark’s chest and around his neck, brushing his thumb along Clark’s jawline, and truth be told, Clark was having a little trouble breathing, especially with Jason looking at him like _that. _He had never been interested in Jason before, but fuck he could see why all the girls swooned over him.

“You’re nervous,” Jason teased.

“I’m not,” Clark argued.

“You are.”

“Well, it’s not every day your best friend gets all, like, seductive and shit,” Clark snapped.

“Bro, you think this is seductive? You ain’t seen nothin’ yet. I’m going easy on you,” Jason said.

“You don’t have to,” Clark said.

“Don’t have to what?”

“Go easy on me. I can take it,” Clark said, puffing his chest. He didn’t want Jason to think he was some kind of pussy that was scared of him or something.

Jason bit back a smile before he slid his hand back to Clark’s chest and pushed him flat on his back. Clark wasn’t sure if he liked Jason being on top of him like this. He didn’t know if that made him the girl in the scenario. Then again, there were plenty of times Gwen was on top of him. Actually, he quite liked it when Gwen was on top.

“You need to relax, bro. You’re thinking too much,” Jason said. He leant down, his body weighing down on Clark’s. Clark closed his eyes, exhaling heavily when Jason went to his neck, placing the first kiss right under his jaw. He shivered, biting on his bottom lip, because fuck that one little touch was _a lot_.

Jason’s nose nuzzled against his neck as he licked a stripe along his collarbone. Clark’s breathing hitched before he let out the quietest of moans. He gripped Jason’s hips and pulled him closer, desperate for the body warmth against him. Jason slowly rocked against him as he kissed his neck, driving Clark to the point of insanity. There was something he really liked about Jason leading him like that as he lay there, taking his direction.

“Am I the girl here?” Clark breathed out.

“Neither of us are girls. That’s kind of the point,” Jason said in Clark’s ear, nibbling on his earlobe, “you can get on top if you want.”

“This is fine,” Clark said quickly, because he honestly wasn’t even sure what he would do if he were on top.

Jason stopped his assault on Clark’s neck and pulled back, looking down on him. Clark opened his eyes, being met with deep brown ones.

“You’re so shy. It’s fucking weird, for you, I mean,” Jason pointed out.

“I am not.”

“You are…I can’t tell if I think it’s hot or not,” Jason pondered.

“This is just new,” Clark murmured.

Jason nodded slowly, his lips inching closer to Clark’s, “are you turned on right now?”

In that moment? On top of him? Lips so close he can feel his breath tickling his own? Hard-on pressed against his thigh?

“Yeah…” Clark answered.

“So, what’s the problem?” Jason asked. His lips lightly brushed against Clark’s as he spoke.

“There’s no problem,” Clark said, and it was half a lie. He really fucking wanted Jason but he was finding it a little difficult to be like this, under him, because it was _Jason_! He had been his best friend for years, and he didn’t want him to think he was _super_ gay, right?

“What do you want to do right now?” Jason asked slowly, clearly, his lips so close that all Clark had to do was tilt his chin up and they’d be kissing.

Clark swallowed, his mind not catching up with what was happening, “do you think this makes me gay?”

“Is that what you’re worried about?” Jason asked.

“I don’t know,” Clark said.

Jason sighed, resting his forehead against Clark’s for a moment before he pushed himself up. His body completely left Clark’s as he sat on the edge of the bed.

“It’s not gonna happen, is it?” Jason asked.

There Clark was, hard as hell, and yeah, he was fucking nervous. Yeah, he was a bit afraid of whether this made him gay or not and he didn’t want that label. He liked chicks, right? But he couldn’t deny how hard he was. He couldn’t deny how attracted he was to Jason and how much he wanted it. In that moment he realized what an idiot he was being. He wanted to experiment with Jason and he didn’t want it to all slip through his fingers because he was finding it difficult separating Jason his _friend_ and Jason the guy he hooks up with.

Clark sat up, studying Jason’s face. He actually looked kind of disappointed. The guy clearly had other dudes he could go and fool around with, but there he was, trying to help Clark out and Clark had almost thrown it away.

“It’s cool, man,” Jason said with a smile.

“Can I blow you?” Clark blurted out.

Jason laughed, “uh, what?”

“Nothing,” Clark said quickly.

“You wanna blow me?” Jason asked, his laughter turning into a teasing smile.

“Fuck you,” Clark muttered.

“You can fuck me if you want,” Jason said, “I wouldn’t say no.”

“I’m saying no to that,” Clark said.

“Forever?” Jason asked.

And fuck, would he fuck Jason? Could he? Maybe.

“No.”

Jason glanced down, “are you hard?”

“Yeah,” Clark laughed.

“Do you want to do this then, or what?” Jason asked.

“It’s not gonna make things weird, right? Like this is just a thing we do between us?” Clark asked.

“No one has to know, and it doesn’t have to mean anything,” Jason assured him.

Clark nodded. That was all he really had to know. And he reminded himself of how much he trusted Jason. He knew he wouldn’t judge him or accuse him of being gay or anything like that.

“Alright,” Clark said with an air of finality.

“Alright?” Jason asked.

Clark nodded, his gaze flicking to Jason’s lips. Jason noticed the movement too, because he smirked as he leant in closer. He paused, and it took Clark a few seconds to realize he was waiting for him. Taking a deep breath in and out, Clark threw caution to the wind. He wanted this. He bridged the gap, pressing his lips lightly against Jason’s.

“That’s my boy,” Jason said against his lips before taking Clark’s face and kissing him harder. The words sent a warmth through Clark’s chest that only had him wanting Jason more, and with a surge of adrenaline he kissed Jason back with just as much enthusiasm.

It didn’t take long at all for Clark to be on his back again with Jason hovering over him. Jason flicked his tongue out, the tip gliding along Clark’s mouth before he parted his lips, letting Jason in. Their tongues massaged together and Jason tasted like the vanilla ice-cream he had after dinner, and Clark didn’t usually like vanilla but he found himself wanting to taste more of him.

Jason was a really fucking good kisser, and maybe that was because it was so different to what Clark was used you. He figured out pretty quickly that he was so used to kissing people, not really being kissed by someone. He had never kissed a girl who was into it _this _much. And with Gwen, well, Gwen never really seemed to like kissing him that much at all. He realized just how starved he was to have the shit kissed out of him like Jason was doing.

Jason shifted against him, positioning himself between his legs. For a split second Clark felt his masculinity slipping away as Jason ran his hand up the back of his thigh and hoisted it up around his hip, but he quickly forgot about that the moment Jason rolled his hips, pushing his crotch against his own. Clark’s moan caught in his throat before he suppressed it, because they were supposed to be quiet, right?

Jason rutted against Clark, and Clark could feel the growing, hard bulge against his own. His heart pounded hard as a burning feeling settled in his stomach. Jason grinded against him a little faster, the friction between their jeans becoming a little too unbearable. Having the same thoughts, Jason shifted to the side and began undoing Clark’s belt.

Excitement bubbled up in Clark. He really needed Jason to touch him. The contact through their clothes just wasn’t enough and he needed the feeling of Jason’s warm hand on him. As for his own hands, well, he wasn’t really sure what to do with them, but he knew he wanted them on Jason, so he started closest to where they already were. He brushed his fingertips along Jason’s hips before sliding his hands up past the shirt.

Jason, after struggling for a moment, finally got Clark’s belt undone. His lips never left Clark’s for a second as he popped open the buttons and reached inside. Jason’s hands were a little rough today, but Clark didn’t mind it one bit because, fuck, he needed the skin-on-skin contact so fucking badly. Jason took Clark’s dick out of his pants, and with his hand wrapped tightly around the width, gave it a few tugs.

Clark hummed against Jason’s lips as he bucked his hips, needing more. Jason kept up the slow pace, stroking him to point where Jason was like putty in his hand. Clark tried to focus on something else so he didn’t come then and there. He ran his hands up Jason’s torso, his fingertips feeling the defined abs. He continued pushing his shirt up, exploring his pecks and shoulders. His body was so _hot_, temperature wise. And the other way. But he really was warm. And broad, so much broader than what Clark was used to. It was different, but he didn’t hate it.

“Having fun?” Jason asked as he pulled away, smirking down at Clark.

“Just checking,” Clark said absent-mindedly.

“Checking what?” Jason asked.

“I don’t know, man,” Clark murmured.

Jason bit his bottom lip, his gaze flicking down to Clark’s lips again, but instead of kissing him like they both clearly wanted, Jason sat up, letting go of Clark’s dick. Jason pulled his shirt up over his head and tossed it to the floor. Clark’s eyes raked over Jason’s body. It wasn’t like he hadn’t seen it a million times before. He just had a different sort of appreciation for it now. Wanting to match his efforts, Clark sat up just enough to take off his own shirt, leaving him there almost naked. Jason didn’t even look down at his body, clearly used to being around shirtless men more than Clark was.

“So, do you like what you see?” Jason asked. Was this really the conversation they were going to have while Clark had a very exposed boner _right there_ that needed Jason’s attention? Not thinking too much about it, Clark wrapped his hand around himself, stroking himself slowly as he looked up at Jason.

“Well, do you?” Jason asked. His gazed flicked down quickly to what Clark was doing to himself, before looking back to his eyes.

“Does it matter?” Clark asked.

“You’re exploring your sexuality. Of course it matters,” Jason said.

“Right…”

“So, do you like what you see?” Jason asked again.

“I don’t know, man. It’s fucking weird,” Clark admitted.

“What is?’

“Like…telling you if I think you’re attractive,” Clark said.

“Why? I think you’re fucking sexy as hell,” Jason said. The words made Clark’s cheeks burn.

“Really?”

“Hell yeah, dude. If I knew earlier you were into guys I probably would’ve come onto you a lot sooner,” Jason said.

For a moment Clark wondered if Jason liked him more than a friend, but he quickly dismissed the thought when he remembered what Jason said about dating guys. He does _not_ date guys. He hooks up with them, and that’s what this was.

Jason placed his hand over Clark’s and Clark moved it away, letting Jason take over, his fingers wrapping around his width and stroking him. Clark glanced down before looking back up at Jason.

“So,” Jason asked yet again, “do you like what you see?”

“Yeah,” Clark admitted.

“Great,” Jason smiled, “now, can I go down on you?”

“Like you even have to ask,” Clark said.

“There’s this thing called consent. I’m gonna keep asking you before we do anything,” Jason said. Clark could only nod, not really paying much attention because Jason was lowering himself and all Clark could think about were his lips.

Jason’s eyes were focused on Clark’s, even as he got down to his hips. Clark propped himself up on his elbows, watching him. He had a taste of what Jason could do the other night at Allie’s party, but he had been so close to the edge that he finished fast and barely got to experience it. Although, Clark was already pretty worked up, he just hoped he could last a little longer.

Jason had his hand firmly around the base of Clark’s cock. He squeezed, making Clark flinch in the best possible way. He licked a stripe along the entire length before swirling his tongue around the tip, and Clark couldn’t watch anymore. He fell back to the bed, eyes closed, biting his bottom lip as he tried his best to stop himself from going over the edge. He _had _to be able to last longer than last time, right?

Well, he lasted longer, maybe a _little_ bit longer. Maybe by a minute or two. The moment Jason’s lips wrapped around his cock and sucked him into his warm, wet mouth, Clark knew he was a goner.

“Fuck…no, no, not yet,” Clark groaned as he latched onto the sheets below him, gripping them tightly.

Jason ignored Clark’s warning, not letting up in the slightest. He bobbed his head up and down. The slick coating him, making it easier for Jason the longer he went on. Clark was _throbbing_, the pulsating rippling through his entire body. Clark was coming undone. He couldn’t hold back for much longer.

“Jay…” Clark breathed out, “Jay, fuck…Jason…”

Clark’s hips jerked, his body quivering, and Jason heeded the warning that time. He pulled back, his hand doing the rest of the work. Clark arched his back, grinding himself harder against Jason’s hand as he felt himself tip over the edge.

“Shit, I’m coming,” Clark groaned, and the next second Jason’s hand was over his mouth, silencing him; a reminder that they were in his fucking room and not in the house alone. Clark strangled back a moan as he jerked his hips into Jason’s hand, spilling through Jason’s fingers and on his own stomach.

The Earth spun below Clark and he could only be thankful that he was laying on Jason’s bed. Fuzziness clouded his mind and his ears rung. Jason was speaking to him but he could barely hear it.

“Fuck,” Clark cursed himself. He watched Jason get off the bed and head over to his desk where a box of tissues were. Clark quickly came back down to Earth, getting over his high as he sat up on the bed. Jason cleaned off his hand before going back to Clark and handing him the tissues. Clark sat up, taking the box and wiping up the mess they made.

“Do you ever let guys come in your mouth?” Clark asked, curiosity getting the better of him, because Gwen had never _ever_ let him do that, and that was fine because that was what Gwen wanted, and he didn’t expect her to do anything out of the ordinary, because, well, actually now that Clark thought about it they only ever did missionary position, _every _time, and she only blew him on the rare occasion. Their sex, while Clark loved every second of it, had been kind of boring. Maybe, and Clark had discovered the truth just recently, maybe Gwen had never really been into him, so it was a big change having someone like Jason who so clearly wanted to do this shit with him.

“Not my thing,” Jason said.

“Why not?” Clark asked.

“I was hooking up with this guy once and he, like, held my head there once as he came and it made me choke so, like, I’m just not into it,” Jason said.

“What a dick,” Clark said.

Jason nodded as he went back over to the bed, sitting on the edge close to Clark.

“Do you always come so quick?” Jason asked casually.

“No,” Clark snapped.

“We’re gonna have to work on that,” Jason said, “lots and lots of practice.”

“Fuck you, okay? Before you it had been a really fucking long time since I was with anyone and I’m not used to getting blow jobs and-“

Jason shut him up with his lips, pressing them firmly against Clark’s. Clark was embarrassed still, but the kiss was a nice distraction. He kissed Jason back, cupping his face in his hands. Jason took Clark’s hand and placed it on the rock-hard bulge in his jeans. Shit, Clark almost forgot that Jason wasn’t done yet.

After his talk with Grizz, Clark was more determined than ever to take another step. He wanted to experience everything and see what he liked and didn’t like. So, without second-guessing himself, Clark parted from Jason’s lips before getting on the floor on his knees. Jason looked down, eyebrows raised in surprised.

“Honestly, didn’t think you would,” Jason said.

“I just wanna see if I like it,” Clark said.

“By all means,” Jason said as he turned to face Clark a little better.

Clark knelt between Jason’s legs. Right, he could do this. He actually kind of wanted to show off to Jason. He wanted to see if he could make him feel just as good as Jason had just made him feel. Clark couldn’t look at Jason’s face. He just couldn’t. He was going to pretend he was with a nameless, faceless man.

Clark undid the man’s jeans and shuffled them off of him, letting them drop to the floor. There it was, staring at him, waiting for him. He was hard, erect against the bare stomach, and Clark was fucking nervous, but more than anything, he was determined. Ignoring whatever doubts he had, Clark took the dick in his hands, giving it a few testing strokes, feeling how hard it was, how thick, wondering how the fuck he would get his mouth around it. There was only one way to find out.

Clark leant forward and hesitated for only a moment before he flicked his tongue along the tip. It didn’t taste bad like Clark thought. Just, salty, he guessed. It wasn’t awful anyway. Going a little further, he brushed his lips along the head before he took him into his mouth, just an inch.

_Not bad_, Clark thought to himself. Not bad at all. He went a little further, and throwing caution to the wind, took him as far as he could into his mouth, which turned out was only half way. He wrapped his hand around the half he couldn’t reach, stroking slowly.

“Fuck, dude,” Jason’s voice shook. And, right, this was Jason, not a faceless man that Clark was having his way with. It was _Jason_, and Clark wanted to make him come.

Clark was a lot slower than Jason as he moved up and down. His mouth stretched as he tried to accommodate the width, but he got used to it pretty quickly. He sucked hard, feeling Jason tense and hearing him stifle back a moan. Clark couldn’t help but smile, which was a mistake because, well, he had a fucking dick in his mouth. The moment he did he accidentally grazed his teeth along him. Jason whimpered, making Clark pull back and look up at him with an apologetic gaze.

“Fuck, sorry man,” Clark said quickly.

Jason shook his head quickly, “it’s okay, keep going.”

Clark was a little unsure, but then Jason ran his fingers through Clark’s hair and brought him closer. Clark went with the movements and took Jason into his mouth again. Clark honestly thought he would hate this, but he really didn’t. He found himself wanting to do good, and he wanted more practice. He couldn’t have hated it if he was already planning the next time he could do this.

“Fuck…” Jason breathed.

Clark glanced up at him, seeing him looking right back down. The moment their eyes connected, Jason looked away, tilting his head back and looking at the ceiling instead. Clark looked back down and got a little more into it. Everything was so wet, and sticky and hot, and Clark, again, didn’t hate it. He also didn’t hate how Jason was reacting to it.

Jason was slowly moving his hips up and down. He kept his hand in Clark’s hair, tightening his fist around the locks every time Clark sucked a little harder. He breathing was shaky as he panted. He was fucking _panting_, and it only encouraged Clark more. He tried to take him in deeper. _Tried_ being the key word because the moment he did he went a little too far and found himself gagging. He pulled back, coughing as though he had just drowned.

“Careful, bro,” Jason said, eyeing him with concern, “you good?”

“Yeah,” Clark said as he got over it, “are you close?”

“Almost,” Jason nodded.

Clark wasn’t going to give up so easily. He took Jason in his mouth again. His jaw was starting to hurt a little so he went a little faster, wanting to get Jason there. He bobbed his head up and down, twisting his hand around the bottom half.

“Oh God,” Jason groaned, the sound cutting off before he got too loud. “Don’t stop,” he whispered, “seriously don’t fucking stop.”

Clark didn’t. He went faster as Jason made all sorts of muffled out noises. His breathing quickened as he thrust up into Clark’s mouth. Clark pulled back, letting his hand do the work, and not even ten second later Jason was grunted and coming all over his thighs and Clark’s hand.

“Fucking hell,” Jason sighed as he fell back onto the bed.

Smiling triumphantly, Clark gave him a few more strokes, making sure he was well and truly done before he let go and got up, sitting on the bed beside him.

“Shit, dude. Not bad,” Jason said as he sat up, looking a bit disoriented.

“Not bad?” Clark asked, offended.

“Well, you could do with a bit more practice,” Jason shrugged.

“Fuck you, you just want me to blow you more,” Clark accused.

“I wouldn’t say no,” Jason teased with a smirk.

Jason picked up the tissues and cleaned himself up, before handing them to Clark once more. Clark cleaned up his hand. Strangely enough, doing that with Jason wasn’t bad, like, at all. He didn’t feel awkward about it or anything. He wanted to do it again.

Jason went over to his drawers, finding himself some fresh clothes. Following his lead, Clark quickly re-dressed himself. He still wasn’t really sure of what they were doing. Obviously they were hooking up, but then what? Should Clark leave? Was it right back to being just friends? Would they play some video games and pretend they didn’t just see each other naked, among other things? Clark looked over at Jason who was in his boxer shorts only. He sat on his computer chair, swiveling around to look at Clark who was sitting on the edge of the bed.

“So, you still into this?” Jason asked.

“I just blew you,” Clark said as if it were so obvious, “would I do that if I wasn’t into you?”

“Just checking,” Jason defended, “I guess we should talk rules now.”

“Rules?”

“Yeah, like…how we’re friend. _Just_ friends,” Jason reiterated, “we fool around when we’re feeling like it but that’s it. The reason I wanted to bail from my last fuck buddy was because he got way too clingy, dude.”

“Clingy? How?” Clark asked. He was desperate to know the boundaries, because Jason didn’t want someone clingy, but at the same time they spent almost all of their free time together, so would that have to stop?

“The usual shit. He was texting me all day every day. He wanted to sleep over all the time or wanted me to stay the night. I don’t _sleep_ with the guys I hook up with. It always turns to cuddling and shit and I’m not into that. He started to think we were a legit couple, which I don’t do. I don’t date guys. It’s fucking and that’s it. A couple of weekends ago he asked me to go to the movies, bro. The fucking _movies_, like I’m his boyfriend,” Jason ranted.

“So…we can’t go to the movies anymore?” Clark asked.

“That’s different, dude,” Jason said. Was it? Clark was a bit confused, but he didn’t want to sound like an idiot so he didn’t say anything about it.

“No couple shit, got it,” Clark said.

“I just care about you a lot, bro, and I don’t wanna fuck us up. So, no strings, yeah?” Jason asked.

“Yeah,” Clark agreed.

“No falling in love with me,” Jason joked.

“Oh, whatever. You’d totally fall in love with me first,” Clark said.

“Bullshit,” Jason laughed, “do you even remember how quick and how hard you fell for Gwen?”

“Whatever,” Clark muttered quickly, because he was right. “What other rules?”

“Uhm…we should keep this between us. I don’t want people looking at us differently or having questions,” Jason said.

“Oh…”

Jason sighed, “who’d you tell, dude?”

“Grizz,” Clark admitted.

Jason smirked, “oh right…yeah, Grizz. Don’t think I forgot about you saying you kissed him.”

“It was…whatever,” Clark waved his hand dismissively, trying his hardest to act as though it wasn’t a sore subject.

“I’m kind of offended,” Jason said.

“Why?”

“I don’t know. You didn’t tell me about it. And you went to test shit out on him? Really?” Jason asked. He waited for an answer, but Clark was a little annoyed because, well, Jason was being a bit hypocritical, right?

“I didn’t tell you? Dude, you’ve apparently been fucking guys left, right and center for years and I never knew about it,” Clark pointed out.

“True. What happened with Grizz anyway?” Jason asked, eyeing Clark with curiosity.

“Doesn’t matter,” Clark murmured, looking away.

“Was it like a thing? Before or after Sam?” he asked.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Clark grumbled, staring down at his nails.

“Shit, bro. You’re actually into him,” Jason said in awe. Clark’s cheeks burned and he still wouldn’t look up.

“I do not. He’s with Sam,” Clark said, as if that made a difference.

“Fuck, man. That’s the worst,” he said.

“What?”

“Liking someone who has a boyfriend or girlfriend already,” Jason said.

“I don’t like him,” Clark said adamantly.

“Yeah, you do. I know when you’re lying,” Jason said, “oh shit, was that why you were so weird the other night when we went to Sam’s?”

Clark had enough. He snatched his phone up from the bed before he stood. “I’m going home.”

“Hey, no, don’t leave mad,” Jason said, getting up too.

“I’m not mad,” Clark denied, glancing at him.

“Okay, sure. You’re not mad and you don’t like Grizz,” Jason said, but Clark could hear in his tone that he didn’t believe it at all.

“I’m leaving,” Clark said, going over to the door.

“Wait,” Jason caught up to him, standing in his way, “are we still gonna do this thing?”

“Sure,” Clark nodded.

“Cool. Come by again tomorrow night?” Jason asked.

Clark only had to think about it for a second before nodding again, “yeah.”

“Sweet. Catch you later,” Jason said, stepping to the side so Clark could be let out. He left the room, a bit annoyed at the entire Grizz conversation, but more than that, he was excited about what they’d get up to tomorrow night.


	4. Dumb = cute

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 3 recap: Clark and Jason hooked up again, going a little further in Clark's exploration of his sexuality. They established being friends with benefits and the boundaries that come with it. Jason also caught on to Clark having a legit crush on Grizz and teased him about it. 
> 
> This next chapter is still set in the weeks between chapters 40 and 42 of Vulnerable. 
> 
> Also WARNING: sexual content. After this we'll be getting to the more plot/feelings part, but for now, exploring Clark's sexuality it is!!!

After they established that they were one hundred per cent into the whole friends with benefits thing, Clark found himself wanting Jason more and more. and everything he did and said was sexy as hell. Clark often found it hard to even stop _looking_ at Jason, and Clark was certain that Jason had upped the flirting ever since Clark told him he didn’t need to go easy on him. It was a little strange because over the next few days it had started happening when they weren’t hooking up, when they were just hanging out with friends or were in class, not that anyone except Grizz noticed.

Clark didn’t hate it though. He liked it, like a lot, and every afternoon that week he found himself in Jason’s bed, even on afternoons they hadn’t planned to meet up, Jason would text him, asking him to come over and Clark would be there in a flash, because hooking up with him was addicting. It was quick, it was easy, and then Clark would go home feeling satisfied. 

Clark wasn’t sure if it was _Jason_ that he was into, or whether he just enjoyed fooling around with a guy. Either way, Clark was more certain than ever that he was attracted to guys, as well as girls. He wouldn’t call himself gay. He wouldn’t even call himself bisexual. He didn’t want to label it. He just wanted to do it. 

On Sunday morning, Clark, Jason, Grizz and Luke all went for a jog around the neighbourhood. The four of them hadn’t hung out together, just the four of them, in a while. Grizz was always so busy with Sam, and Luke had Helena, so it was nice for a change. After the group of them decided they were all too exhausted to go on any further, Luke and Grizz jogged off together, leaving Jason and Clark alone, outside Jason’s house.

“You coming in?” Jason asked.

“House empty?” Clark asked.

Jason smirked, giving a nod. Jason’s family went to church, but Jason rarely did. The house would be empty for the next couple of hours, and since they usually hooked up every afternoon while everyone was downstairs, they had to be extra quiet. The thought of not having to worry about that had Clark all excited.

The two went inside and Jason started up the stairs, with Clark following him. A rush of warmth washed over Clark. Deciding to be friends with benefits was the best idea the two had ever had, according to him. Knowing that they could hook up at any time was something that excited Clark, and he had become a lot more confident in what he was doing too. Practice really did make perfect.

The second they got to the top of the stairs, Clark couldn’t wait any longer. He took Jason’s hips and pulled him flush against him, going to his neck. He trailed his lips up to Jason’s ear, kissing the spot he knew made Jason weak. That was another fun part of the whole arrangement; figuring out what each other was into. Clark had never really had anyone react to him in the way that Jason did, and it was invigorating. It was nice to have someone be attracted to you. It was nice to feel wanted.

Clark slipped his hand past the fabric of Jason’s sweatpants and palmed him hard and fast, making him sigh and roll his head back onto Clark’s shoulder. Clark kissed and licked at Jason’s neck, not caring about the salty taste of the sweat that coated him.

“We’re in the fucking hallway, dude,” Jason said.

“So? No one’s here,” Clark said. He squeezed him a little harder and was rewarded with Jason grinding against him. Clark felt as though he had so much power in the palm of his hand, and he got a bit of a thrill as he felt Jason get harder.

“We, mmm, need to…shower,” Jason gasped.

Before Clark had a chance to protest, Jason took hold of his wrist and was dragging him down the hall. They both went into the bathroom and Jason let go of him to turn the water on. Clark didn’t want to stop touching him though. He came up behind Jason once more and easily pushed his pants down and tugged at his shirt.

“Jesus, you’re eager,” Jason said.

“And you aren’t? You’ve been eye-fucking me all morning,” Clark said.

“Yeah, okay, you got me there,” Jason nodded. Clark turned him around and planted their lips together. They were quick to get their tongues involved, lapping at the others. Jason was heavily into tongue. Clark had noted that pretty quickly. Usually Jason was the more dominate one, but with Clark getting more and more used to hooking up with a guy, he found himself regaining the confidence he usually had, so he didn’t feel weird at all taking the reins, and Jason let him.

The room was getting hot and humid as steam surrounded them. Clark pushed Jason’s shirt up and they parted for him to take it all the way off. Jason kicked off his sweats before stepping into the shower under the running water. He gave Clark an inviting glance, and holy fucking _shit_ did Jason look sexy as hell standing there, naked, hard-on, water running over him. Clark couldn’t undress fast enough. He stripped and climbed into the shower under the running water.

Clark kissed Jason again, pressing him against the tiled wall. His bare chest slid against Jason’s as he got as close as possible. Jason wrapped an arm around Clark’s neck, keeping them glued together. Clark was so turned on that he barely knew what he was doing. He just knew he needed some sort of contact, and so he rutted against Jason, rolling his hips in an almost desperate manner.

“Slow down,” Jason said against his lips.

“I’m horny,” Clark said before pressing their lips together harder.

Jason hummed against his lips before placing his hands on Clark’s chest and lightly pushing him back. He was a little confused as he watched Jason get the loofah and coat it with soap.

“Clean,” Jason said.

“Why? We’re just gonna get dirty again,” Clark smirked.

Jason grinned, but he didn’t sway from his train of thought. He put the loofah to Clark’s chest and began cleaning him, moving the loofah in a circular motion.

“You just wanted to get me soapy,” Clark accused, his eyes narrowing playfully.

“Maybe. Or maybe you’re sweaty as fuck,” Jason said.

It was a little strange, being cleaned by his friend. It was funny because Jason had had Clark’s penis in his _mouth_ numerous times over the past few days, but it was when Jason was washing him that Clark got a bit nervous. He took the loofah from Jason when he was done and went to work on him instead. Jason giving him that look; the seductive flirty one, was enough to make Clark realize that the washing each other thing was just another form of fooling around.

Before long both of them were covered in soap and foam, and seeing Jason like that, well, let’s just say Clark was really fucking hard. He dropped the loofah once he decided that was enough and crashed his lips to Jason’s in a needy kiss. Their bodies slid together easily as Clark rolled his hips into Jason.

Jason was a really good kisser, like a pro, and it made Clark feel like he often had to catch up with him, but in that moment, Jason once again let Clark take over and go at his own pace. Clark slid his hands down the wetness of Jason’s back to his ass, palming and squeezing at the plump area. Jason hummed deep in his throat as he rocked against Clark.

“Fuck,” Jason panted against Clark’s lips, “finger me.”

Clark had never done that to Jason before, but he was so open to experiencing new things with Jason that there was no option in his mind other than to obey. If that was what Jason wanted, that was what Jason got.

Trailing his fingers down lower, Clark felt around until he got to Jason’s entrance, and then he easily slid one finger in him. Jason moaned, taking Clark’s face in his hands as he kissed him harder, more desperate. Jason must _really_ like that, Clark thought. Feeling a bit experimental, as always, Clark moved his finger around, sliding it in and out. Clark wasn’t sure if he himself would like something in him like that, but Jason was into it, so that was all that mattered.

“Another,” Jason said before he bit Clark’s bottom lip and shoved his tongue deep in his mouth.

Clark was a little worried for a moment. He didn’t want to do something wrong and he didn’t want to hurt Jason, but he also heard the demanding tone in Jason’s voice, so he figured it was okay. Carefully, he worked in another finger. It wasn’t quite as easy as the first one, but Jason didn’t wince or clench or anything like that. Clark wondered if that was because Jason had done this with a lot of guys before and was used to having stuff up there.

Clark shoved his fingers in and out, earning himself a choked groan. Clark went to Jason’s neck, kissing and biting it roughly, but also really wanting to hear Jason’s reactions not being muffled out by his lips.

“Ah, fuck,” Jason breathed, “oh shit.”

Clark moved his fingers faster, his hand slapping against Jason’s ass cheeks. Jason clutched onto his shoulders, his nails digging in, not that Clark minded. Clark twisted his fingers, trying to feel around, because well, he had googled this shit and knew it was apparently supposed to feel really good for a guy, even if Clark wasn’t one hundred per cent on board with that for himself.

“Mmm fuck, Clark,” Jason whined. Clark pulled back to look at him, noticing the darkness in his eyes. Clark was thoroughly enjoying seeing Jason like that. He was a bit of a mess, and all because of a couple of fingers?

“You want more?” Clark asked.

“Please,” Jason begged with a nod.

Clark twisted his hand and pressed himself closer to Jason’s body so he could get the right angle. Jason closed his eyes as Clark worked a third finger inside of him. The moan that came from Jason was so drawn out, almost to a whimper. The sound went straight to Clark’s cock and he was glad Jason wasn’t touching him because he would have been a goner.

“You good?” Clark asked as he began to move the three fingers in and out of his friend.

“So fucking good,” Jason said as he opened his eyes, looking at him once more.

“What’s it feel like?” Clark asked curiously.

“Maybe you’ll let me do it to you one day and you’ll find out,” Jason said.

Clark wasn’t too sure about that, but the way Jason was looking at him made him want to kiss him, so he did, meshing their lips and tongues together once more. He moved his fingers quicker with the whole purpose of making Jason come. He wondered what felt better, fingers in him, or wrapped around his cock. Clark decided for both as he wrapped his hand around Jason’s length and easily stroked him through the water.

Jason was making all sorts of noise, groaning, grunting, moaning, humming. Clark felt a little proud that he had discovered yet another thing that drove Jason wild; so wild that he was bucking against Clark. Just another minute and Clark was sure Jason would be done.

Jason made a strangled sound before turning his head, shaking it. “S-stop,” he pleaded. His body jerked as he latched onto Clark’s wrist. “Stop.”

“But you’re about to come,” Clark said, confused.

“I need you to fuck me,” Jason blurted out.

“What?” had Clark heard that right?

“I need you in me so fucking bad. Only if you want to though,” Jason said.

Clarks heart hammered in his chest, and he really wasn’t expecting to have sex with Jason so soon, but God he really wanted to, and again, this was all about experimenting with his sexuality, right?

“Turn around,” Clark said.

Jason shook his head, “bedroom. Need lube and condoms.”

Jason turned off the shower and stepped out, followed by a confused Clark. Condoms? Why did they need condoms? He figured it was a slip of the tongue and forgot about it.

The two dried as quickly as they could and Jason practically dragged Clark to his room. Jason went straight to the drawer and took out a couple things before getting on the bed, pulling Clark down on top of him. This was where Clark needed a little bit of guidance.

“Okay, what do I do?” Clark asked.

Jason handed him a condom and a bottle of lube. “It’s pretty straight forward. Like being with a girl, but different. Always stretch a guy first, like we did in the shower, and just start off slow. I’ll tell you when you can go faster. And use _lots_ of lube.”

Clark nodded. That made sense, or at least, that was what they did in the porn he had watched.

“Why do I need this?” Clark fiddled with the condom between his fingers, “it’s not like I can get you pregnant.”

Jason gave Clark _the look_. The look that Clark received multiple times a day. The look that told Clark that he didn’t understand something, that he was stupid.

“Dumb question?” Clark murmured. 

Jason nodded, but instead of insulting Clark like he was so used to, he sat up, brushing his lips over Clark’s, “you’re so fucking hot sometimes.”

“_Sometimes_?” Clark asked, offended.

“Most the time,” Jason whispered and pulled Clark down for a firm kiss. The kiss didn’t last long. Jason was quick to push him back, eager to get on with it.

“Just put it on. We’ll have a sex ed lesson later,” Jason said before he shifted under Clark and rolled onto his stomach.

Clark didn’t really understand, but he trusted Jason, so he did as he was told. He knelt there behind Jason who was, fuck, he was laying there, waiting for Clark to _fuck_ him. Clark felt dizzy, and more than anything, really turned on. Clark ripped open the condom wrapper before sliding it onto himself. Jason had barely even touched him and he was as hard as a rock, then again, it didn’t take much for Clark when he was around him.

“Tell me if I do something wrong,” Clark said.

“You won’t, bro. You got this,” Jason encouraged him, and that was all the motivation that Clark needed.

He spilled a good amount of lube onto his hand before smearing it over his length, and then he moved closer. This was it, he was about to have sex with another dude. Ask him a week ago, hell, ask him _an hour_ ago, and he would have thought the idea was a daunting one, but in the moment, he couldn’t think of anything else he would rather do.

Ask Clark slid into Jason, slowly, he had to stop, biting hard on his bottom lip, because holy fucking hell, he was so warm and tight. Clark hadn’t quite felt anything like it.

“I’m not hurting you, am I?” Clark asked.

“Nah, keep going,” Jason urged.

Clark slid the rest of the way in, and as he bottomed out, he actually felt proud of himself because a few weeks ago he had been so damn confused about who he was. Even kissing another guy had been such a big deal, but there he was, having sex with his best friend, and it was fucking _amazing._

Jason pushed back on him, wriggling when Clark had stayed still for too long. Clark shook, trying to keep control of himself as he slowly pulled most of the way out and pushed back in. He watched Jason, taking in his reactions, how he arched his back and curled his fingers around the pillow beneath his head.

“A little faster,” Jason told him.

Clark nodded, not that Jason could see him. He held himself up on both hands at Jason’s sides before he picked up his pace, finding a steady rhythm. He closed his eyes, panting heavily as he tried to get his heart to stop racing so fast.

“Fuck, okay…okay, faster. I’m good,” Jason said after a little while. Clark was surprised he had even lasted this long inside him.

“How do you like it?” Clark asked.

“Just fuck me,” Jason pleaded.

The words shot straight through Clark. He sat up on his knees, pulling Jason with him. With his grip firm on Jason’s hips he started thrusting into him. He watched as he disappeared into his friend, but he couldn’t look anymore. It was too much. He closed his eyes, but that was probably even worse, because all he could focus on were the moans that came from him.

“Ugh, Jesus, Clark,” Jason hissed, “so fucking good. You have n-no idea.”

“I have some idea,” Clark said, because Jason wasn’t the only one who was overcome with pleasure. Clark had never felt anything so close to ecstasy since, well, ever.

Clark pulled Jason’s hips back harder, making him cry out in a moan. Clark opened his eyes and looked down, seeing Jason touching himself. Decided that was _his_ job, Clark knocked his hand out of the way as he reached around, stroking him.

“Don’t stop,” Jason begged, “keep going. Just, fuck. Keep…shit…”

Clark didn’t stop. He kept going for what felt like an eternity, when in reality it was a few minutes. The room was filled with the sounds of their heavy breathing, the panting, the swearing, and one other thing that had Clark’s heart racing; Jason saying his name.

“Clark,” he whined, “I’m almost there.”

Jason wasn’t kidding, because not even two seconds later he was grunting, his knees buckling as he fell back to the bed and came over his sheets. It was all too much for Clark and he couldn’t hold back any longer. The pool of heat that had been trying to make it’s escape burst through Clark’s body as he collapsed onto Jason, jerking inside him as he climaxed.

Clark panted on top of Jason; his chest the only thing that was moving. Other than that, he was completely still, unable to even think about moving. His body quivered with every wave that kept pulsating through his body.

“Fuck, dude,” Jason said with a laugh, “wasn’t expecting to do that today.”

“Me either,” Clark agreed.

“Hope it was okay that we did,” Jason said.

Was he kidding? That was more than okay. So much more. Clark kissed the back of Jason’s shoulder before he finally made a move, sliding out of him. He fell to the bed next to Jason, facing him; the man who smiled back goofily. To show him just how okay it was, and because, well, the urge had been there ever since Jason had flipped onto his stomach; Clark pressed their lips together in a closed mouth kiss.

Jason pulled away and reached over Clark to his bedside table, getting some tissues, handing some to Clark. Clark took off the condom and cleaned himself up. He got off the bed as Jason took off the dirty sheets. Jason flopped back down, naked still, and looking up at Clark.

“That was really good, bro. I could use a nap. Think I might,” Jason said.

“Yeah, same,” Clark said. He usually felt a bit tired after anything he and Jason did. Clark headed over to the door with the intention of getting his clothes from the bathroom.

“Where are you going?” Jason asked.

“To get my clothes and go home?” Clark said as he stopped, looking back at Jason.

“It’s Sunday though, we can hang, play some games or some shit, after a nap because getting up early got me tired as shit,” Jason said.

“Isn’t one of your rules no sleeping together? Like, literally,” Clark asked.

“You’re obviously different,” Jason said with a roll of his eyes.

Clark knew what he meant. He knew that they had been best friends for years and often slept over so it wasn’t out of the ordinary at all, but Clark still felt a flutter in his stomach at his words. He was _different_. In a way, he was special, different to the other guys he had been with. It wasn’t very often that Clark felt special.

“Clothes?” Clark asked. Was he just supposed to go sleep with him naked?

“Your choice,” Jason waved his hand as he yawned. His eyes drooped. He really was ready for a nap. “Either way, lock the door.”

Clark decided to stay. He locked the door like he was told and went back over to Jason’s bed, laying on his side of the mattress, which he found it funny that he even had a side, but he had stayed over so many times that it was just normal.

“Is the condom because it can get dirty down there?” Clark asked thoughtfully.

“It’s for STDs, dumbass,” Jason mumbled.

“Oh, right,” Clark nodded, because that made sense, “sorry, I’m dumb.”

“You’re not dumb,” Jason said sleepily, “‘s cute.”

Clark frowned, looking to Jason who had his eyes closed and his head buried in the pillow. He was half way off to dream-land. Ignoring the warmth in his chest, Clark closed his eyes, facing away from Jason as he settled in to sleep the rest of the morning away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!!


	5. Blurred Lines

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 4 recap (i had to go re-read it myself because I forgot lmao) Anyway. They had the sex. That's it. i thought something else happened. i was wrong. continue. 
> 
> This chapter is still set between the weeks between chapters 40-42 of Vulnerable. In case ya'll can't remember the timeline, (and spoilers if you haven't read vulnerable and want to) those were the happy weeks after Elle broke up with Campbell and around the time Sam and Grizz had the sex for the first time. We haven't gotten to the car accident etc yet.

Clark and Jason were in the back seat of Jason’s car; a complete sweaty mess. Jason was awkwardly on his hands and knees, face down on the leather interior, and Clark was huffing and puffing on top of him having just climaxed and being too exhausted to move just yet. Clark’s bare chest stuck to Jason’s bare back in the heat and it was uncomfortable, sure, but Clark still felt as though he was on cloud nine.

They both knew they had to get a move on though. The bell rang for class about five minutes ago but both of them had been so close that they didn’t want to stop, they simply had to finish.

“Do we seriously have to go to gym? That was a fucking workout in itself,” Clark said. He rested his forehead on Jason’s shoulder, resisting the urge to kiss the bite marks he just left.

“For you, maybe. I’m good,” Jason said in humor, because right, all Jason had to do was lay there while Clark did all the work.

“So not fair,” Clark mumbled.

“Bottom for me then,” Jason shot back, knowing full well that Clark wouldn’t have a response. And he didn’t. Clark didn’t say a thing, ignoring the comment as he peeled his body from Jason’s and pulled out. He slid the condom off, leaving it in the plastic bag that he and Jason _really_ had to throw out because, well, Clark didn’t even want to venture in there to see what they had left in there over the past couple of weeks. The back seat of their cars had become their favorite place to hook up. They didn’t have to be quiet and could go wherever they wanted.

Clark did his jeans up and pulled his shirt back on before looking at Jason who was doing the same; sitting up and cleaning and red-dressing himself.

“I’m kidding,” Jason said with a smirk, “don’t freak out.”

“I’m not.”

It wasn’t like Clark hadn’t thought about bottoming before, because he had, a lot. It was just that they had been having sex for a few weeks now and it was really good, what they did worked for Clark and seemed to work for Jason too. Clark wasn’t one hundred per cent opposed to bottoming, it was just that, he didn’t really want to do it when it was so much easier topping Jason.

“We’re late,” Clark said, “coach’ll be pissed. Let’s go.”

Jason nodded, getting out of the car, and once Clark checked to make sure he looked like he didn’t just fuck someone, he got out of the car too, joining his friend. As they jogged out to the gymnasium, the two acted as though nothing had just happened. It was common for them. They’d fuck, then go right on back to being friends. It was simple. It was easy. They had done it every day since the first time a couple of weeks ago; whether it be back at Jason’s house, or Clark’s, or the back seat of their cars, or that one time at Luke’s that they both swore they wouldn’t tell him about. Sometimes they’d do it twice a day, meeting up in the morning, and again at night. It was like they were addicted to each other.

After couch yelled at them for being late, the two headed to the locker rooms to change into their gym clothes, laughing the whole time like a couple of idiots. Clark kind of wished they just skipped the rest of the day and went for a drive or something, but he never said that to Jason. _Jason doesn’t like clingy_, Clark often reminded himself. Not that Clark _was_ clinging to Jason, because he wasn’t, but he didn’t want Jason to think he was, that was for sure. 

Once the two went back out to the rest of the class, coach put them on separate teams, which was no surprise. Any class they had together the teachers usually split them up because it was hard for them to concentrate on the task at hand when they were together. When they were together, they were the class clowns, always playing up.

“Took you guys long enough,” Grizz said when he jogged over to Clark. They were on the same team. It was Basketball that they were learning for the next few weeks. It seemed to be coach’s new obsession.

“We tried to be quick, bro, I swear,” Clark said.

“Everyone was asking where you two were. I said lunch time detention for playing up in class, so roll with it,” Grizz said.

“Thanks Grizzy,” Clark smiled as he tried to ruffle the boy’s hair, but he dodged him swiftly.

“All good, but seriously, think about telling the others if you guys are a thing,” Grizz suggested.

“We’re not a thing. It’s just hooking up,” Clark said.

A whistle screeched nearby, making both Clark and Grizz look up at Coach who was glaring at them.

“Visser! Beecher! This isn’t a play date! No fraternizing with the enemy!” Coach shouted.

Clark’s cheeks burned and he pushed Grizz away before jogging over to where he was supposed to be. He caught a glimpse of Jason as he passed him. He was staring back at him. Clark gave him a subtle smile, thinking that maybe Jason was checking him out or something, but when Jason quickly looked away, he figured maybe he should tone down his own ego.

Clark realized that maybe Jason had been watching him and Grizz, because ever since Jason discovered Clark may or may not have had a teeny, tiny crush on Grizz, Clark often noticed Jason watching them whenever they spoke. It made Clark feel like he was under a microscope, because he had denied having a crush on Grizz, but he wondered if Jason didn’t believe that and caught on that Clark did, in fact, still have a crush on him.

The crush wasn’t like it used to be. It wasn’t as intense. It wasn’t as obsessive. Jason had been a really good distraction and instead of thinking about Grizz and liking him, Clark found himself hooking up with Jason instead. Not that Jason was a substitute for Grizz or anything. It wasn’t like that at all. It was just good to no longer feel like a lovesick puppy around his friend. It also helped that he didn’t want to tear out his own heart whenever he saw Sam and Grizz together. It was actually bearable.

Clark had been going through the motions, playing the basketball game with his team for the first half of the class, and he might have been a little bit distracted by his own thoughts, so he didn’t see the basketball flying towards his head until it smashed into him, right into his temple. Clark lost his balance, falling to the ground.

Coach blew his whistle and the game came to a stop.

“Dude!” Clark heard Jason yell angrily, obviously not at him, before he was at his side and helping him up off the ground. “You okay?”

“Yeah, fuck,” Clark groaned. He hadn’t been knocked out or anything like that, and he felt fine, it just hurt like a bitch.

“My bad!” an annoying voice called out. Clark looked over, seeing Dewey, the scrawny punk.

Clark hated him usually, but even more so ever since the party where he trash-talked Sam and Grizz, resulting in a fight breaking out. The kid had some nerve picking on Clark again. Didn’t he learn from the last time?

“No harm done, right? It’s not like you got many brain cells left up there anyway,” Dewey said with a smarmy grin. 

“Fuck you, Dewey!” Clark bellowed.

“What? As if you weren’t already dropped on the head as a kid,” Dewey said.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Clark asked firmly, taking a step forward.

Dewey and a few others laughed at the comment, and Clark just felt stupid. He knew what Dewey meant; that there was something missing in Clark’s head; that he was brain damaged; that he was stupid.

“Some guys are just here to look pretty. Someone’s gotta do it, right?” Dewey laughed.

Clark hated that fucking cackle. He leapt forward, wanting to smash the kid’s face into the ground, but Jason blocked his way, pushing him back.

“Let go of me!” Clark shouted, hitting his arms away, “fucker needs to lean who the fuck he’s talking to!”

Jason wrapped his arms around Clark’s waist, pulling him from that piece of shit that was just standing there laughing. Yeah, Clark was _definitely_ going to smash his face into the floor. Only, he couldn’t, because he was in class, and Coach was blowing his whistle like a crazy person as he marched over to the group of them.

“That’s enough! Jason, get him out of here to cool down,” Coach ordered, looking less than impressed and not like he cared at all about whatever had just happened.

Jason did as he was told, dragging the struggling Clark away from Dewey. Grizz came over to them, looking all concerned as he usually did.

“You need help?” Grizz asked Jason.

“I got it,” Jason snapped, making Grizz stop in his place.

“O…kay…you got it,” Grizz said, holding his hands up in surrender.

Not wanting any more attention to be brought to them, Clark turned, tearing himself from Jason’s grip. He went into the locker rooms where it was quieter and there were no eyes on him. He hit the locker with the palm of his hand, feeling prickles of pain shoot through it.

“Dude,” Jason said.

“What?!” Clark yelled as he spun back around, “I wanna fucking kill him. He’s an asshole!”

Clark could still see the smug smile on Dewey’s face in the forefront of his mind. He didn’t care if he got in trouble. He went to storm right back on out there, but Jason put his hands to his chest, pushing him back. Clark’s back hit the locker as Jason crowded in front of him, not giving him a chance to try and run again. Although, Clark could have easily fought him off, but he didn’t want to fight Jason.

“He is an asshole, yeah, but he’s not worth it,” Jason said.

Clark had his eyes on the exit, hearing the laughter coming from the other side. “They all think I’m just some dumb idiot.”

“You’re not. Look at me,” Jason ordered. He placed his hand on the back of Clark’s neck, his fingers digging in a little, but his thumb rubbing back and forth soothingly underneath his ear. The gesture grounded Clark as he calmed and looked to Jason, just as he asked.

“Fuck those guys. You’re not dumb. They don’t know you,” Jason said.

Clark watched Jason, searching for a sign that he was just bullshitting to make Clark calm down, but he wasn’t. He meant what he said.

“You good?” Jason asked, still looking into Clark’s eyes.

Clark nodded, and then he looked to Jason’s lips. He never really had good impulse control, especially when his emotions were running high, so it wasn’t really a surprise when he leant forward and kissed Jason. Their lips melded together firmly as Clark brought his hands to Jason’s cheeks.

It took Clark ten seconds at most to feel a little funny about the kiss, because they didn’t do this. They _never_ kissed outside of hooking up. Ever. It took those ten seconds to realize that Jason wasn’t kissing him back. That was when Clark pulled back and tried to act as though he didn’t just do that. He chewed on the inside of his cheek, watching Jason, and wondering if he had done something wrong or out of line.

Jason gave a quick smile before he stepped away from him and nodded to the doors, “you cool to go back now?”

“Yeah,” Clark nodded.

“No fighting, in front of Coach at least,” Jason said.

“Sure,” Clark nodded, although he knew the next time Dewey made a smart-ass comment there was no way something would stop him from smashing his face in.

\---

Later that night, Clark was at Jason’s house, much how he found himself most nights, only that night, they were sitting side by side on Jason’s bed, leaning against the wall and facing the TV, playing video games. It was something they hadn’t done a whole lot of lately considering they usually just hooked up, but Clark wasn’t in the mood for that.

He had been feeling pretty down after what happened in gym class. He knew he shouldn’t have let someone like Dewey get him down, but his intelligence, or lack-thereof, was a touchy topic. He usually didn’t care, or he would just laugh it off, but deep down, when people made fun of him for being stupid, it hurt. It reminded him that he would never do well in school, or college, and he wouldn’t get a good job. He spiralled, quickly, feeling like he would never succeed in life. But it was worse knowing that that was what people expected of him.

Maybe he shouldn’t have gone to Jason’s that night because of how dull of a mood he was in, but he thought hanging out with Jason and his family would cheer him up, but it didn’t. After dinner and games, they went to Jason’s room, and Clark wasn’t in the mood for fooling around, so he suggested they play a game instead, and that was what they had done for the past hour or so.

Clark wasn’t talking much, and he could feel Jason’s eyes on him every now and again. He was waiting for Jason to say something, not that Clark was fishing for Jason to comfort him, because he wasn’t. In fact, he didn’t want to talk about why he was so upset at all.

It was getting late and Clark was about to tell Jason that he was going to go home, when at the end of the round they were playing, Jason put his controller down and leant over to Clark, kissing his neck. Clark closed his eyes, feeling the tension in his shoulders dissipate. Jason lightly grabbed Clark’s chin as he forced him to turn his head. The next moment Jason’s lips were on Clark’s and they were making out.

Clark knew his head wasn’t in it. He really wasn’t in the mood, but he enjoyed kissing Jason. He also enjoyed making Jason happy, so when Jason undid Clark’s belt, he let him. He also let Jason shove his hand in his pants, touching him, stroking him. Nothing was happening though, and after a few minutes of Clark being completely unresponsive, Jason pulled back, looking at him.

“No?” Jason asked.

“Sorry,” Clark murmured.

Jason took his hand out of Clark’s pants, shaking his head with a smile, “it’s cool.”

“I might just go home,” Clark said. He went to get up, but Jason grabbed his wrist, stopping him.

“It’s late, bro, just stay. We can sleep,” Jason said.

Clark paused as he looked at him. Sometimes Clark found the line between their friendship and hooking up a little blurry. He wasn’t sure what was right or wrong, but Jason never showed signs of anything being wrong.

“You sure?” Clark asked.

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Jason asked back.

Clark thought back to the kiss in the locker room; the one that was a bit out of character for the both of them, and well, Jason wasn’t mad, so Clark figured that was okay. Maybe that was something they just did? And sleeping in the same bed together. That was something Jason supposedly never did with a guy, but they did it all the time. Clark was a little confused, but tried not to overthink it.

“Okay, cool,” Clark said.

He stood up anyway and started taking off his jeans and shirt, for comfort, of course. Jason did the same, but stayed in bed.

“Turn the game off?” Jason asked. Clark did as he was told, turning off the game and TV, plunging them into darkness. He made his way over to Jason’s bed and got on, crawling under the blankets on his side of the bed.

“Night,” Jason said.

“Yeah, night…bro,” Clark said, feeling a little off.

Clark shifted onto his side, facing away from Jason, and even though he wasn’t in the best of moods and he probably shouldn’t have even come over to Jason’s house; he liked being in Jason’s bed. He liked having another person sleeping next to him. He just hadn’t figured out yet whether it was _Jason_ he liked next to him, or just anyone. The bottom line was that Clark hated being alone, especially when he was upset about something.

He was thinking too much, once again, about earlier in gym, and mostly how it wasn’t just Dewey saying those things about him, but everyone laughing and agreeing with it. He felt like shit. Pure shit. He wondered if deep down Jason agreed with the others and he was only saying otherwise because he was his friend. The thought upset Clark more than anything. He sniffled, forgetting for a moment that he wasn’t alone.

“You’re not still worried about that fucker, Dewey, are you?” Jason asked.

“Maybe he’s right,” Clark murmured. He shoved his face in the pillow, really not wanting to cry near Jason over something so ridiculous. He felt Jason moved closer, and then his arm around his torso, and his breath on his neck.

“Stop it, okay? Dewey is a lot of things but right isn’t one of them,” Jason said.

“No, he’s right,” Clark’s words were muffled by the pillow, but Jason caught them.

“Was he right about Grizz and Sam being disgusting?” Jason asked.

“No.”

“See, he’s a fucking moron,” Jason said before he brought his hand up to Clark’s shoulder and forced him onto his back. Clark sighed, rolling over to face his friend, not that he could see him in the dark anyway.

“It’s not just him. Lots of people think I’m dumb,” Clark said.

“Name one that matters,” Jason said.

“I don’t know. Grizz thinks I’m stupid, I’m pretty sure,” he said.

“Jesus,” Jason muttered, “fucking Grizz.”

He said something else, but Clark didn’t catch it. “What’d you say?”

“Nothing. Listen, you’re not dumb,” Jason said adamantly.

“I am.”

“You’re _not_,” Jason said.

“I say a lot of dumb things though,” Clark said. He at least had to admit to that.

“Saying dumb things isn’t the same as being dumb,” Jason said. 

“It isn’t?”

“Nope. And if it makes you feel any better, I find it kind of hot when you’re being kind of blond,” Jason said, running his fingers through Clarks not-blond hair. The comment filled Clark’s chest with warmth, and suddenly being called dumb wasn’t the worst thing in the world.

“Really?” Clark asked, voice barely a whisper.

“Mhm,” Jason hummed.

The two were laying close, really close, Jason’s hand on Clark’s neck where he had left it after running his fingers through his hair, and their noses were almost touching. It was nice, and once again Clark had the urge to kiss him, and well, he hadn’t gotten into trouble for kissing him in the locker rooms, so he figured that maybe that was something they could do now.

All Clark had to do was tilt his chin up and their lips were touching. Clark sighed into the kiss because it was relieving, really, to kiss someone and not have sex on the mind. He liked it a lot, no matter how much it confused him, but he had done enough of questioning his and Jason’s friends with benefits thing, maybe this was just another benefit. 

Jason kissed him back that time, much unlike the locker rooms. His lips moved slow, with no intent other than kissing Clark back, and the two kept at it, right up until they fell asleep.

\---

When the two of them woke the next morning to the sound of Jason’s alarm on his phone, they were a lot more tangled up than they had been last night. Or, well, to put it more simply, Clark was _all over_ Jason who had merely been laying on his back. Clark lifted his head off his friend’s chest before unravelling his arm from around his torso, and untangling his leg from Jason’s.

“Sorry,” Clark said.

“It’s cool,” Jason said in a croaky voice. He got up, climbing over Clark as he left the room, probably heading for the bathroom. Clark stayed there. He felt a bit better after last night. Fuck everyone at school. He would show them all that he wasn’t just some moron.

Clark got out of bed and started getting ready for school. He had a lot of his clothes and stuff in Jason’s room since they tended to spend most nights there. The two of them got ready and had breakfast mostly in silence, which had Clark just a little concerned. Last night was really different to what they usually did together and Clark didn’t really know what to think of it. All he knew was that Jason was a bit quieter than usual.

As soon as they got to school and met up with their friends he brightened up, going back to normal. It was just like any other day, and it was the same for the few classes they had together. It was at lunch time when things took an interesting turn.

Their whole group was together at their usual table. Clark sat on one side with Grizz, Sam and Becca, while Luke, Helena, Gwen and Jason were on the other side. It wasn’t unusual at all for Jason not to look at Clark much while they were around their friends. They had the habit of being a bit flirtatious, as Grizz liked to put it. There was something about Jason that day though. He was quieter, and actively avoiding Clark’s gaze. Clark had a sinking feeling in his stomach which only got worse when Gwen piped up.

“So, Jason,” Gwen nudged him, “I was talking to Erica in class just before.”

“Oh,” Jason said, looking up, glancing at Clark and back to Gwen, “yeah I-“

“I can’t believe you guys are back together again,” Gwen said with a huge grin.

Clark looked right to Jason, because what the fuck? He hadn’t said anything about being back with Erica. He hadn’t even mentioned her name since they started hooking up.

“Really?” Clark asked.

“Yeah,” Jason nodded, “It just happened. We spoke and both decided we should get back together.”

“Both decided?” Gwen snorted, “she told me you practically begged her to get back together and saying you wanted to go to prom and that you love her and- ouch! Grizz! What the fuck?”

“Accident, sorry. _Speaking_ of prom, what color is your dress? Are you girl’s all gonna match? That’d be cute,” Grizz said, changing the topic, and Clark was glad for it.

Clark turned out and looked down at his phone, pretending he was busy doing something on it. In reality he was, well, hurt. He didn’t understand. Why wouldn’t Jason just tell him if he wanted to get back together with Erica? Instead he found out at the table with all of their friends? Then again, that was what Clark was, right? His friend? Just because they hooked up didn’t mean Clark should get special treatment.

What did this mean now? They would have to stop hooking up, right? That was how this worked. If one of them were to start dating someone then they would have to stop seeing each other. Clark’s stomach hurt. He wrapped his free arm around it, almost as if he were holding himself together. And then he got a text.

**Did you know? **– Grizz.

**About? **– Clark.

**Jason and Erica. **– Grizz.

**Of course I did. **– Clark.

**You just looked surprised. **– Grizz.

**Yeah because I didn’t think he was asking her today. But I totally knew he was gonna ask her. **– Clark.

**Are you okay? **– Grizz.

**Why wouldn’t I be? **– Clark.

**….** – Grizz.

**What? We hooked up. It’s over. He’s with her now. No big deal. **– Clark.

**Do you wanna hang out after school?** – Grizz.

**I don’t want a pity hang out. No thanks. **– Clark.

**What’s there to pity? I thought you were okay?? **– Grizz.

Clark didn’t answer after that. He shoved his phone in his pocket and not long after the bell rang. Clark was up before the rest, telling them all goodbye in the most normal voice he could muster up, and then he was out of there, fleeing the scene and heading off to class.

“Clark! Bro!” an all too familiar voice shouted, “Clark, wait up!”

Jason had caught up to him in no time and took him by the arm, tugging him down a corridor that he didn’t have to go down.

“What are you doing?” Clark asked.

“You ran off so quick,” Jason said.

“Yeah, class,” Clark said, pointing in the opposite direction.

“Fuck class, I gotta talk to you,” Jason said.

Jason led him outside and into the school parking lot which was empty of human life, just cars. Clark didn’t know what to say as Jason stopped and faced him. He had never been in this position before, where a friend’s with benefits deal was ending. He wondered how many times Jason had been in this position. Maybe it happened with him often and Clark was just one on a long list.

“Listen, I’m sorry, bro. I was gonna talk to you first. I didn’t think Gwen would’ve found out and blabbed before I got to you,” Jason said.

“So…you’re really back with her?” Clark asked.

“Yeah,” Jason said with a little smile, “well, I’ve kind of wanted to for a little while but, like, me and you were, you know.”

“Sorry to hold you back,” Clark said a little bitterly. He shouldn’t have been mad. He knew he shouldn’t be, because they were _just_ hooking up. It was nothing more, but it still hurt and Clark couldn’t figure out why.

“Shut up, you didn’t,” Jason said.

“Whatever, it’s cool. I just wish you would’ve told me you were still into her. You know, it’s confusing because, like, last night you were trying to get in my pants and today…” Clark paused as his mind made a connection, “wait, did you go back to Erica because I didn’t want to fool around last night?”

“What?” Jason spoke quickly, “no. No, dude, fuck, I didn’t really plan on getting back with her _today_. It just happened that way. It didn’t have anything to do with you.”

“Oh,” Clark felt a little silly, “so uh, I guess what we were doing has to stop?”

“Yeah, I think that’s for the best,” Jason said, and that only confused Clark even more.

“For the best?” he asked.

“Yeah…like…I think we’ve served our purpose, you know?” Jason said, nodding along with his own comment. 

“Not really,” Clark said, still not getting it.

“You wanted to figure out if you were into guys and I helped with that and I think we can both say that yeah, you are very physically into guys, right?” Jason asked.

“Right,” Clark nodded.

“And I feel like…you’re a very…emotional guy,” Jason said.

“So? What’s that got to do with anything?” Clark asked defensively.

“Like, I think you need more than just hook ups,” Jason said.

“I do?”

“Don’t you want to figure out if you’re emotionally into men as well?” Jason asked.

Clark thought about it, and yeah, sure, maybe he was right. He knew he liked Grizz like that, but he didn’t know if he liked other guys like that.

“Maybe?”

“Right, so, I don’t want to keep you back from figuring that out because we’re _just friends_,” Jason looked at him pointedly, eyebrows raised, waiting with an air of tension for Clark to agree.

“Sure,” Clark said, “so…you think I should go date a guy?”

“Yes!” Jason exclaimed with a smile, “exactly. That way you can keep figuring yourself out.”

“Uhm…okay,” Clark said, thinking about. Maybe this really was the next step.

“We’re cool though, right? You always knew it was no strings and it could end at any time, right?” Jason asked.

“Yeah, yeah dude,” Clark laughed a little, “we’re good, bro.”

“Cool, so, back to normal, yeah?” Jason asked.

“Yeah, back to normal,” Clark nodded.

Only, nothing would ever be back to the way it had been.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you!! I'm still gonna be writing the next couple of chapters of this before going back to Vulnerable to we can get the timelines matching. Sorry for the wait!!


	6. Jealousy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 5 recap: Clark almost got in a fight with Dewey because Dewey said he was dumb which is a touchy topic for Clark. Jason calmed him down though. Later that night Clark wasn't in the mood to fool around. He was feeling pretty down and Jason comforted him and they ended up kissing a lot. The next day Jason broke things off with Clark and got back with Erica. He also convinced Clark that he should try getting a real boyfriend.
> 
> Warnings for this chapter: just a lot of talk about sex- and Clark feeling pressured into doing sexual stuff he isn't one hundred per cent into.

Clark was nervous. His palms were sweating. His breathing was shallow. And the guy was ten minutes late. What was his name again? Fuck. Clark knew his name! He did. He had been talking to the guy for a little while on Grindr back _before_ he and Jason had started hooking up, and they started talking again, well, the very afternoon he and Jason had called things off. He knew his fucking name.

“Clark?” a voice spoke from behind him.

Clark spun around, and sure enough, there he was, looking just like he did in his profile picture, only better. The man was the same height as Clark and the same build. The noticeable difference was the man’s bleached blond hair with dark roots and his shining blue eyes. He was _pretty_, not just hot but _gorgeous_, and in that moment, Clark felt like he was under-dressed only in his jeans and a shirt. Maybe he should have dressed up more? The guy was in jeans too, but he wore a white button-down top.

“It’s Justin,” the man said. _Justin_, right. Fuck, that was it.

“You have an accent,” was the first thing Clark said.

“Ah, got you there. I like to not tell people so we have something to break the ice,” Justin said in a British accent that Clark could only describe as sounding like Harry Potter.

“Well, it worked,” Clark said.

“Great, how you doin’ babe?” Justin asked. Babe? Shit. Clark’s cheeks were burning. This was this first date he had ever been on with a guy, after all, and he wasn’t sure how to handle it.

“Good, you?” Clark asked.

“Fantastic now. You’re nervous?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Clark gave an awkward laugh, “I don’t usually do this.”

“You have nothing to be nervous about looking as bloody gorgeous as you do. Just relax, I won’t bite. Promise,” he winked.

Clark had to look away. He wasn’t really used to guys complimenting him like that, other than Jason.

“Shall we head in?” Justin asked.

“Yeah, after you,” Clark gestured.

Justin smiled and took Clark’s hand. Clark’s _sweaty_ hand and in they went into the café they had decided to meet up at. It was simple, right? A coffee date? Well, it was all well and good, right up until they got to the counter to order, because, who the fuck was supposed to pay? Clark always paid when he took Gwen out, because that’s how it was supposed to be, right? Who paid when there were two guys?

“On my tab, love,” Justin said to the girl behind the counter. Well, that solved that problem.

“You know her?” Clark asked.

“Yeah, that’s my roommate,” Justin said.

“You don’t live in the dorms?” Clark asked.

“No, too small,” Justin said and nodded for Clark to follow him over to a small table in the corner. They both sat down, across from each other. Clark’s heart was racing, but it wasn’t as bad as what it had been while waiting for the guy.

They decided to meet in the city. It was a common ground and Clark didn’t really want to meet up back in West Ham where everyone would recognize him. Justin lived nearby. Or at least, Clark guessed that he did. He went to a university in the city, after all. He was a music major. That was just about all that Clark knew.

“So, your parents let you out all on your own, huh?” Justin asked with a cheeky grin. That was an inside joke they had already formed. Justin was a couple of years older, three to be exact, and he loved to rub it in to Clark.

“I’m eighteen, I make my own decisions,” Clark said.

“Such a big boy,” Justin teased.

Clark bit back a smile, shaking his head at him, “you’re just like you are through text.”

“I told you I’m genuine. You need’nt worry,” Justin said, because before accepting the date invitation, Clark told him that he was worried about being catfished.

“So, tell me something about yourself you haven’t told me yet,” Clark said.

From there, the conversation flowed, which Clark was more than surprised about. He expected it to be awkward or weird. He didn’t really think he would connect with another dude, especially a stranger. With Grizz, Clark had known him for years so it just developed, but this was so different; meeting a guy with the intent of dating each other.

Justin was easy to talk to. He was funny and clever, and maybe a little mature for Clark, but Clark toned down his usual persona, trying not to sound like he was still in high-school. After all, he was to graduate soon, and he was eighteen. The two covered all the basics and Clark was liking what he was hearing. Justin seemed to have his life together, and fuck, he was so charming. So _damn_ charming with his accent and his compliments. He had Clark’s stomach doing flips on numerous occasions.

Justin was in a band too; an indie-rock band. He played lead guitar and did backing vocals. They weren’t very well known on a global scale, but locally they were a hit, apparently. Clark had never heard of them before. He was also covered in tattoos, which Clark discovered he was really into. Clark did briefly wonder if this made Justin a ‘bad boy’ type, but he was really, really nice.

They chatted for hours, which Clark didn’t really think he would be able to hold a conversation for that long with someone who wasn’t in his immediate friend group, but they did. By the time the sun set and the café began to close, Clark was almost all talked out, but at the same time, he didn’t want the date to end.

The two found themselves walking down the street, hand in hand; Justin’s doing, not Clark’s, but Clark didn’t mind in the slightest. They were heading towards their cars, just chatting.

“Did you have a good time?” Justin asked.

“Yeah, I did. Did you?” Clark asked.

“You bet. You know, I find it so hard to believe this is your first time doing this,” Justin said.

“Well,” Clark shrugged. It was funny that he thought he had done this before, because on the inside Clark felt like he was a lost puppy and had no clue what he was doing. In fact, now that he thought about it, he felt like an entirely different person around him.

“Have you ever even kissed a boy before?” Justin asked.

Clark had only told him he had never been on a date with a guy before. He hadn’t told him yet about what happened with Jason, but the conversation had been going so well, they had such a good back and forth, that Clark felt comfortable with telling him.

“Yeah, I have. It wasn’t like a boyfriend dating sort of thing. Me and my friend, Jason, we were hooking up for a little while. Nothing serious,” Clark told him.

“Oh, yeah? Like a friend’s with benefits deal?” he asked.

“Yeah, like that. I just wanted to figure out if I was into guys and he offered to, I don’t know, teach me? I guess? That sounds dumb,” Clark mumbled.

“It doesn’t. So, you figured out you love being with men then?” Justin questioned.

“I’m still into chicks. Like I’m not _gay _gay. But, yeah, it was really good, actually.” Clark nodded.

“Did you top and bottom?” he asked.

“Uh, no. No. I only topped,” Clark answered, wondering if that was normal or okay. Should he have done more with Jason to really figure himself out?

“You’re not into bottoming?” Justin asked.

“I don’t really know…”

“Hm…”

“What?”

“It’s just that, for me, personally, I’ll never bottom. I’m not into it, so I mean, if you won’t either that might be a bit of a roadblock for us down the track,” Justin said. Clark hadn’t really thought of that.

“Oh, uh, well, I’m not against it, exactly,” Clark said quickly, because he _really_ liked this guy and he didn’t want it to be over because of something like this.

“Cool. I’m not saying we’re gonna hook up right now though, so relax that clammy hand, Love. Whenever you’re ready,” Justin said.

Relax his hand? How could he relax? It was their first date and they were talking about sex. Sure, they had been texting each other non-stop so it felt as though they had known each other much longer, but still, _first date_. Were gay guys always like that? Or had Clark just picked one that was forward?

“This is me,” Clark said when they got to his car. The two stopped, facing each other; Justin’s hand still linked with his. “Where are you parked?”

“Just a little further down the end of the street. So, I guess this’ll be goodnight then?” Justin asked.

“Yeah, I guess so…” Clark nodded, “uhm, can we, like…do this again? If you want?”

“Hell bloody yeah I want to do this again,” Justin said with a grin.

Clark couldn’t help but smile back as the weird fluttering feeling swept through his stomach again. “Cool.”

“Cool. Now, may I have a goodnight kiss?” Justin asked.

“Yeah,” Clark said. Duh. Of course he could. Clark had been thinking about it all night.

Justin smiled again as he stepped forward, letting go of Clark’s hand. He took Clark’s face within his palms and pressed their lips together softly. It was different to kissing both Grizz and Jason. Both of them had been friends, and this? This was definitely _not_ a friendly kiss. Justin’s tongue was in his mouth quicker than Clark could even process, but he didn’t mind it one bit.

People were walking past them on the street, but Clark didn’t care about the no-names that could see him out there in public, making out with a guy. He was focused on Justin and only Justin. Definitely not Jason. Nope. He definitely wasn’t thinking about how Jason’s tongue tasted different, or how his lips were softer. He wasn’t thinking about the little sounds Jason made in the back of his throat and how they were absent with Justin. And he most definitely was _not_ wondering what Jason was up to that night.

“Fuck,” Clark said as he pulled back.

“Tell me about it. You’re a good kisser,” Justin said. And right, Justin, not Jason.

“Thanks,” Clark said. Why was he thinking about Jason? Of all times?

“Do you want to come back to mine? No pressure. We can just fool around, or whatever you want,” Justin said.

Clark nodded, not taking much time to think about it, “okay, yeah. Let’s go.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, come on,” Clark said, taking the man’s hand and leading him further down the street.

“So much for goodnight then, hey Love?” Justin said as he struggled to keep up with the eager Clark.

\---

The next day, Clark knocked on Jason’s door. His mom answered with a bright smile on her face, as always.

“Clark, what a nice surprise,” she said.

“Hey, is Jason home?” Clark asked.

“Yeah, he’s in the living room. You know the way,” she said as she stepped to the side, letting Clark in. He went in, and she went in a different direction while he headed to the living room.

Walking in, Clark’s stomach felt all sorts of queasy when he saw Jason sitting on the couch with Erica on his lap. They were kissing, looking like the perfect couple. He felt kind of jealous, because why couldn’t _he_ have something like that? Maybe he would with Justin. At the sound of Clark’s footsteps, Jason looked up, detaching himself from Erica’s lips.

“Clark?” he said, surprised, “hey.”

“Hey, sorry, I’ll come back another time,” Clark said, feeling unusually formal around the two.

“Fuck off, dude, stay,” Jason said.

“Yeah, stay. I’m leaving when the movie is over anyway,” Erica said in her usual soft voice. She was nice, but Clark found himself feeling towards her the same way he felt towards Sam. Happy couples made him feel a bit sick, and jealous.

Clark wanted to leave, but at the same time he really needed to talk to Jason, so he stayed. He went over to the single couch and sat down, waiting for the movie to be over, which thankfully, it was getting close. He glanced up at Jason who was looking back at him before Erica caught his attention with a kiss. Clark redirected his attention to his phone, opening up his texts to Justin, needing a distraction.

**Hey**. – Clark.

**Hey gorgeous. **– Justin.

**What u doing? **– Clark.

**Not much. You? **– Justin.

**Not much. **– Clark.

**You should come over again ;) **– Justin.

Clark sighed as he sent a text saying he couldn’t. Their first date last night went really well, and then they went back to his place to fool around. They didn’t have sex. It was hand-jobs and blow-jobs only. Justin tried to go further with him, but Clark backed out, and he was fine with that, but Clark wasn’t. He felt like a loser. That was why he turned up at Jason’s house the next day. He needed his advice.

Clark endured the movie, plus the sounds of Erica and Jason sucking each other’s faces, and then _finally_ the credits started to roll. Clark looked over, eager for Erica to leave, and was relieved as she stood.

“Alright I’m going so you two can have bro time. I’ll see you both at school,” Erica said. Clark nodded at her. She leant down and kissed Jason, “I love you.”

“Love you too,” he said back.

Clark refrained from rolling his eyes. He had lost count of the amount of girls Jason had told he loved. He stayed quiet, right up until Erica closed the front door.

“You love her?” Clark teased.

“Shut up,” Jason said as he threw a cushion at Clark, “it's what they like to hear. What are you doing here anyway? Just wanted to make fun of me?”

“No, I wanna ask you about something, but, not here,” Clark said. 

“My room?” he suggested.

Clark nodded and the two of them got up, heading up the stairs to Jason’s room. Clark thought to the last time they were in there, asleep in his bed. There would be no more of that, probably. Or would there be? Sure, they wouldn’t be hooking up anymore, but they always used to fall asleep together whenever Clark stayed over. Would that still be a thing or would it be weird?

“What’s up, bro?” Jason asked as he flopped down on his bed. Clark went over, sitting next to him.

“So, I met up with this guy last night for a date,” Clark got straight to it. 

“Shit, seriously?” Jason asked, sitting up and looking right at Clark. Clark felt just a little embarrassed, because after all, he was admitting that he was going on dates with other _men_. 

“Yeah.”

“That was quick,” Jason murmured.

“Yeah, he was pretty forward and asked me out quick so,” Clark shrugged.

“Okay, so how’d that go?” Jason asked.

“Really good. Like, really good. We talked for hours about, like, everything. Well, he talked mostly. He likes to talk,” Clark said with a little smile, and he probably could’ve gone on more about the guy, but Jason was quick to speak. 

“Cool. So, what’d you wanna ask?” Jason hurried him along.

“Well, we went back to his place and-“

“You went back to his house?” Jason snapped.

“Yeah?”

“How old is he?” Jason shot the next question at rapid speed.

“Twenty-one.”

“You went back to his house? Clark? Do you have no concern for your own safety? He could’ve been some axe murderer,” Jason scolded him.

Clark hadn’t thought of that at all. It didn’t even cross his mind for a second. “He wanted to hook up,” Clark said simply.

“That’s what they all say, and next minute you’re on the news, dude,” Jason said.

“Well, I wasn’t, okay?” Clark defended.

“You got lucky,” Jason grumbled.

“Yeah,” Clark smirked, because he did get lucky, in more ways than one. 

Jason rolled his eyes, “okay, let’s just forget you went home with a complete stranger, what do you want to ask me?”

“Well, the guy is a complete top, like he told me there’s no wiggle room there. He’ll never bottom,” Clark said.

“So?”

“So, that means I have to bottom,” Clark said.

“You don’t _have_ to do anything,” Jason insisted.

“Yeah, but I want to,” Clark said. 

“You want to bottom?” Jason asked, clearly not believing him in the slightest.

“Yeah?”

“You? Clark? Who freaks out whenever I even mention it?” Jason said.

“I do not.”

“You do too.”

“Do not.”

“Do too.”

“Shut up. Whatever. I really like this guy, okay? I don’t want to fuck it up over this,” Clark argued.

“So, what are you gonna do?” Jason asked.

“I don’t know…last night he…”

“He what?” Jason asked curiously.

“He put…a finger, two actually…down there…like, in…” Clark said. He felt a little awkward talking about this to Jason, which was odd because he always talked to Jason about sex, whether it was between the two of them or when he used to ask advice about Gwen. 

“You can’t even say it,” Jason said with a fond smile.

“Shut up, bro. I’m not used to talking about this gay shit,” Clark snapped.

Jason just smiled at him wider, shaking his head.

“Okay, moving on. So, he put his fingers in you, did you like it?” Jason asked.

“It fucking hurt. Like with you you’re like moaning and loving it and shit but it just _hurt_,” Clark explained.

“Even with just one finger?” Jason asked.

“Yeah, it burned,” Clark said, and his cheeks heated. His heart was racing a bit, and he wasn’t sure why.

“Did he use a lot of lube?” Jason asked.

“No, none. He used spit,” Clark said.

“Oh my god,” Jason put his head in his hands.

“What?”

“Dude used spit on an ass virgin. Does he know you’ve never done it before?” Jason asked.

“Yeah…”

“The guy obviously doesn’t know what he’s doing,” Jason said, and Clark felt like defending Justin, because Justin was a good guy, a _great_ guy and he didn’t want Jason speaking ill of him.

“Maybe he just didn’t have any lube,” Clark said.

Jason still looked astonished, shaking his head. Clark just moved on, “anyway, on my way home I stopped at this store, and like, I bought this dildo, right.”

“Oh my god,” Jason snickered.

“Shut up. I don’t want to be some inexperienced loser with this guy. I wanted to practice,” Clark defended.

“Okay, and?”

“And…I couldn’t do it myself. Every time I started, I stopped,” Clark said.

“Why’d you stop?” Jason asked.

“Because, I don’t fucking know. I just can’t do it myself,” Clark said.

“So, what, you want me to do it for you? Is that why you’re here?” Jason asked.

Clark went quiet. Was that really why he was there? He wanted Jason to tell him how to do it, maybe. Which, thinking about it, was kind of dumb, because Clark knew how to do it. He knew exactly what to do, it’s just that he couldn’t do it on his own and…fuck. He had come there to see if Jason would once again help him out.

“No,” Clark lied.

“Listen, do you want my advice?” Jason asked.

“Yeah.”

“My advice is don’t fucking do it,” Jason said.

“Why not?” Clark asked.

“Because you don’t want to bottom, and because you don’t know him. The whole point of you finding a guy is to see if you like them mentally, not physically, right?” Jason asked.

“Yeah, but he might not want to be with me if I don’t let him fuck me,” Clark said.

“God, you’re so fucking stupid, Clark,” Jason said in frustration.

And, ouch. He just wanted help, advice, something. And fuck, it hurt. It really hurt, because everyone else called him stupid, but Jason didn’t. And Clark felt dumb enough as it was over the entire situation and he really just did _not_ need his best friend making him feel even worse. What made Clark feel even more _stupid_ was that he felt like crying over the comment.

“Clark…I didn’t mean-“

Clark was already up and heading to the door.

“I should’ve gone to Grizz,” Clark muttered.

“Fuck Grizz,” Jason snapped.

Clark ignored him swung the door open, storming down the hallway.

“Fuck!” he heard Jason shout, followed by a loud bang on the wall. Clark didn’t care. He just left. He would have to solve this problem all on his own.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright guys help me out. Should Jason help Clark out? Should they have sex with Clark bottoming? Or should Jason stick to his guns about Clark not really wanting it?  
Also, Jason's POV! Yes or no?


	7. I have a boyfriend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 6 recap: Clark went on a date with a BOY. His name is Justin. He likes him a lot, although Justin has made it clear he will only ever top when it comes to sex and Clark doesn't really want to bottom. He went to Jason for advice/help but they ended up arguing about it and Jason called Clark stupid which is a big no-no when it comes to Clark.
> 
> Warnings with this chapter: sexual talk. Also in the timeline this chapter is where the car crash happens!! So that's in it, just in case ya'll were wondering where we're up to.

Clark could not stop talking to Justin or thinking about Justin. It had been about two weeks since they stared talking and Clark liked him a lot, like _a lot_. They would hang out as much as they could, and when they weren’t hanging out, they were texting non-stop. Justin gave him all of the attention he could ever want. Clark was falling quickly with no signs of stopping.

Clark stood, leaning against the bar, at the club where Justin’s band was playing. It was an over eighteen club only and the bartender kept giving Clark funny looks as if he were about to steal some alcohol or something, but Clark’s attention was fixated on his boyfriend on stage. That’s right. _Boyfriend_. Clark had a _boyfriend_, and it was the most normal thing in the world.

Clark had been to a couple of Justin’s shows since they met. His band was good, even if it was the kind of rock music Clark wasn’t really into, but he made himself like it, because he liked Justin. Justin kept looking over at him as the show went on, making Clark smile so wide his cheeks hurt. It was just nice to feel wanted, and the two had a lot of fun together. They laughed almost constantly and they just clicked so easily. It wasn’t hard like Clark thought it might be.

“Clark!?” someone shouted over the music. Not just someone, but _Jason_. He was with Erica.

“What are you guys doing here?” Clark asked when the two got to him.

“On a date,” Jason said.

“Here?” Clark asked. Because, really? Of all places? Clark’s mind faltered for a moment until he realized that Jason was into going to shows, so it wasn’t that big of a surprise that he was there. Usually Jason would tell him or invite him to the shows, but they haven’t exactly spoken a whole lot recently.

“Yeah, I dig this band. What are you doing here?” Jason asked.

“Just…hanging,” Clark shrugged, glancing at Erica. He didn’t really care if people knew about him. Well, not really, anyway. It was just that he was still figuring himself out and he wasn’t ready for the questions if he didn’t even know the answers to them himself.

“Thank you!” the lead singer, Todd, called out to the crowd, “you’ve been an amazing crowd. We’ll catch you next time!” And, oh. The set was over already. Clark had been so mesmerized by Justin on stage that he barely noticed time going by.

“Are you here with anyone?” Erica asked.

“Uh sort of, uhm, yeah,” Clark nodded.

“Where are they?” she asked.

Clark thought about it for a second and decided against lying. “I’m actually dating the lead guitarist.”

Erica looked at Clark, then back at the band who was leaving the stage.

“Of this band?” Erica asked.

Clark nodded.

“Oh.”

“Wait,” Jason said, eyes narrowing, “just hold on a sec. You’re dating Justin _Dixon_?”

“Yeah?”

“You’re kidding,” Jason practically scoffed.

“Uhm, no? What’s wrong with that?” Clark asked.

“Yeah, Jason, what’s wrong with that? There’s nothing wrong with him dating a guy,” Erica said as she folded her arms over her chest, eyeing her boyfriend. 

“The dude is, like, a manwhore,” Jason said.

“What?” Clark asked, confused.

“He’s known for sleeping with every groupie that looks at him,” Jason said.

Clark shook his head, “no, no. That’s not right. He told me about that and he says he flirts with but never fucks fans.”

“And you believe that shit?” Jason laughed.

“You’ve never even met the guy,” Clark argued.

“He’s a total douche. You can do so much better,” Jason said.

Was he serious? The two had barely spoken since the day in Jason’s room where Jason had called him stupid. It wasn’t like Clark was still mad at him about that, but things had been awkward since. They hadn’t hung out like normal; not even Friday night dinners. Clark had been focused on Justin, and Jason was happy with Erica. They were civil, but it was like their friendship had been put on pause. And now he wanted to have some kind of an input on a guy Clark was dating that he had never met before?

“Fuck you, Jason. You don’t even know him,” Clark defended.

“I know guys like him,” Jason shot back.

“Oh my god,” Erica interrupted them, “why are you getting so worked up?”

That was a good question. Clark would like to know why as well. Jason was looking from Erica, back to Clark, before he sighed. “I’m sorry, okay? I just don’t want you getting hurt, you know?”

Somehow, Clark had already been Hurt. By Jason. And the conversation they were having wasn’t making things any better. He was supposed to be his friend. He was supposed to support him.

“There he is!” the familiar British accent called out. Clark turned just in time for Justin to get to him, take his face in his hands and plant a kiss on his lips. Well, it was a good thing Clark had told Erica about him beforehand. Clark didn’t blame Justin for the kiss. They kissed all the time at their shows. This was the first time around anyone Clark actually knew though. Clark pulled back, glancing to Jason and Erica.

“Justin, uh, these are my friends, Jason and Erica,” Clark said.

Justin, having just noticed that Clark hadn’t been by himself, turned to the other two.

“Jason?” Justin asked, “As in your friends with benefits Jason?”

“Your what?!” Erica practically choked in shock.

“Fuck,” Jason and Clark said at the same time.

Erica’s eyes were wide, Jason looked pissed, and Justin was just looking back and forth between the three of them as he put it all together in his head.

“Oh…oh fuck, I’ve put my foot in it, haven’t I?” Jason asked.

“Kind of,” Clark said.

“Yeah, actually. Maybe you should think before, oh, I don’t know, outing someone to his girlfriend?” Jason ranted.

“I’m so sorry, mate. I didn’t realize,” Justin apologized. Clark took his hand, not wanting him to worry. It wasn’t like he did it on purpose.

“You and Clark?” Erica asked, looking right at Jason.

“It was nothing,” Jason said. Jesus, was Jason trying to kill him or something? Because that felt like a dagger right to his heart. It had meant something to Clark. Maybe not in a way he really realized, but it wasn’t just nothing. Jason had helped him. They had a lot of fun. It wasn’t nothing.

“We should get out of here,” Clark said to Justin.

“You don’t want to hang out with your friends?” he asked.

“No, I want to go with you,” Clark said. 

Justin grinned, “I have to pack up, but I’ll meet you at mine.” Justin took his keys out of his pocket and took just one off the key ring, handing it to Clark before he turned back to Jason.

“I’m really sorry, again. Truly,” Justin said.

“Whatever,” Jason muttered.

Justin didn’t push it anymore, clearly realizing that Jason was stubborn. He gave Clark a kiss and then went off backstage once more.

“Can someone _please _tell me what is going on?” Erica asked. Jason looked to Clark, silently asking him for an okay. Clark nodded.

“I helped Clark out for a little while, just fucking around so he could figure out if he’s into guys. That’s all. And it’s over now,” Jason assured her.

“Yeah, plus I have a boyfriend,” Clark said.

“So, he’s your boyfriend now? Like legit?” Jason asked.

“Yeah, he is, and you didn’t have to be so rude to him. He didn’t mean to spill anything,” Clark said.

“I wasn’t rude,” Jason said.

“You kind of were,” Erica said.

“Thank you, Erica.” Clark said to her with a smile.

“You’re welcome, but this is all really weird. Does Gwen know?” she asked.

“No,” Clark said quickly, “only Grizz.”

“Just don’t say anything,” Jason told her.

“I won’t,” she said.

“Thanks,” the boys said in unison.

“Whatever. This is too much. I’m going to go to the bathroom, then can we go?” Erica asked, her eyes on Jason. Jason just nodded at her and she left them there alone. Jason shoved his hands in his pockets as he looked at Clark.

“So, you’re going back to his house?” Jason asked.

“Yeah.”

“Have you had sex yet?” he asked.

“No… but we’re going to, tonight,” Clark said, and it was a lie. He didn’t plan on having sex with Justin. Clark had voiced that he wasn’t ready just yet to do it. Maybe he would one day, but not yet, and Justin was okay with that, because Justin was perfect.

“Please don’t,” Jason pleaded.

“Why not?”

“Because…because you don’t want to,” Jason said.

“Relationships are about compromise,” Clark said confidently.

“Relationship,” Jason snorted, “you’ve been together five minutes. Why don’t you at least wait until you’re in love and shit.”

“Maybe I am,” Clark said for the sake of arguing.

“You’re in love with him?” Jason asked as if he didn’t believe Clark at all.

Clark sighed, “you’re my best friend, dude. Why are we fighting?”

“We’re not.”

“We barely talk anymore,” Clark said.

“Yeah, because you’re too busy off with Draco Malfoy over there. Who the fuck even bleaches their hair anymore? And you know that accent is fake as shit, right?” Jason said.

“Stop talking about him like that. He’s my fucking boyfriend and if you don’t like it then I guess we can’t be friends anymore,” Clark snapped.

For a moment, it was tense. Jason went quiet and, well, Clark was too annoyed to care that he looked hurt. What did he have to be hurt about anyway?

“I’d never chose someone over you, bro,” Jason said quietly.

“You already did,” Clark nodded towards Erica who was heading back towards them. Jason turned to look at her and Clark took that as his opportunity to leave. He walked away, heading for the exit so he could make his way to Justin’s.

Clark didn’t know how the conversation had gotten so heated. He didn’t know how it got onto who chose who over who, because they were friends, right? And Jason had a girlfriend. It wasn’t about choosing because it was two completely different things. But, at the same time, Clark felt as though Jason had picked Erica over him. On paper that was true, right? Jason chose to be with Erica and now, well now they barely even talked. And it sucked. It really sucked. He missed his best friend. Maybe they should have never started hooking up. It wasn’t supposed to be a problem if feelings didn’t get involved, right? And feelings hadn’t, so what the hell was wrong?

\---

Jason walked hand in hand with Erica, along with his friends; Luke, Helena, Gwen, Becca and Clark. Clark, who was, as always, glued to his phone. It kind of actually bugged Jason a lot because Clark had become pretty anti-social lately and they barely fucking talked. It drove Jason insane half the time.

The group got to Grizz and Luke’s cars where Grizz and Sam were waiting. They were all heading over to Luke’s house to hang out and have some drinks.

“Sorry, we were all waiting for Becca,” Luke said once they got to the cars.

“Uhm, no, I was waiting on Gwen,” Becca argued.

“The main thing is, we’re all here now, so let’s get this show on the road,” Gwen said.

“Okay, who’s going in which car?” Luke asked.

Everyone picked their sides. Luke, Helena, Jason and Erica stood by Luke’s car, while Grizz, Gwen, Sam and Becca stepped towards Grizz’s. Clark stood in the middle, not paying any attention.

“Clark,” Luke got his attention.

“Hmm?” He looked up, glancing at them all in a daze.

“Car, pick one,” Grizz said impatiently.

Any other time and Clark would have gone with Jason, but he had been so weird lately, barely even talking to him, and always so focused on this Justin person. Jason felt as though Clark was mad at him for stopping their friends with benefits thing. And maybe Jason was right because Clark went straight to Grizz’s car.

Jason rolled his eyes. To him, Clark was being a child. Friends with benefits wasn’t supposed to get messy. He had very clear rules to stop it from getting messy, including not developing feelings for each other, and Jason was sure that Clark had begun to. He noticed it when Clark started kissing him with no intention of it leading to sex. The boundaries had been crossed, and maybe Jason had let them, but he wouldn’t let it continue. That was why he had to go back to Erica. He didn’t want his and Clark’s friendship being ruined, and well, maybe he missed the boat on that one.

“What the hell is going on with you and Clark, dude?” Luke asked when they were on the road, driving behind Grizz’s car.

“What do you mean?” Jason played dumb.

“Did you have a fight or something?” Luke asked.

“No.”

Erica was looking at him, just staring, and of course she knew he and Clark had a thing, but it wasn’t a _real_ thing. It was nothing.

“What?” Jason sighed, looking right at her.

“Nothing,” Erica said quietly.

“Can we just play some music?” Jason asked.

Helena, bless her, turned the music up. Jason relaxed and stared out the window at the town they were passing by. They got to a set of red lights. Jason was day-dreaming, watching the cars go by. The lights turned green and Luke’s car lurched forward.

It all happened in a blink of an eye. They were free to go through the intersection, but what none of them could have predicted was the black pick-up truck that came barrelling towards the car. The breaks screeched on the pick-up truck, but it was too late; the car had smashed right into the side of Grizz’s. Right where Clark and Grizz had been sitting.

“Holy fuck!” Luke shouted as he slammed on his own breaks.

“Oh my God,” Erica said next to Jason.

Jason felt as though he were frozen. They all were. They were in shock. Jason’s heart was in his throat as dread filled his stomach. It wasn’t until the others got out of the car that he followed their movements. Clark. Clark. Clark. Clark. That was all Jason was thinking, and his mind went to the worst of places. It flashed with images of Clark unconscious, bloody. Dead.

Luke held his arm out, stopping the group, and Jason saw why. The car that had smashed into them reversed, and then it drove around the wreckage, speeding down the street. It just left? It just fucking _left_?

“What the fuck!?” Jason shouted.

“I’ve got the licence plate number,” Helena said, “I’m calling an ambulance.”

Jason looked around. There were cars everywhere, but they had all stopped; no one going into the intersection were Grizz’s destroyed car was. Sam and the girls got out, and when there was no sign of Clark, Jason made a sprint for the car with the others hot on his trail.

So much was happening at once. His mind raced as he took note of which of his friends were okay, and which weren’t. Grizz stumbled out of the car with Sam by his side. Jason loved Grizz, sure, but Clark was the only person he was thinking about. He ran over to the door and yanked it open. He took Clark’s face in his hands, making him look at him.

“Clark? Clark, are you okay?” Jason asked frantically.

“I can’t…I can’t even feel it,” Clark panted heavily, “what the fuck? Oh fuck. Oh shit.”

Jason looked him up and down, wondering what the hell he was talking about, and then he saw it, clear as day; the giant piece of glass that had pierced through Clark’s bicep.

“Fuck, dude,” Jason gasped.

“Take it out! Take it the fuck out!” Clark begged. Jason was almost going to because he wanted him to stop panicking, but Grizz stopped him.

“Don’t!” Grizz shouted. “don’t touch it. wait for an ambulance. Did we call…call an amb…ambulance.”

Jason looked to Grizz, who was paler than he usually was and slurring his words.

“Helena is. Dude, you don’t look so good,” Jason said.

Grizz stumbled away from him and Jason’s instinct was to make sure he was okay, but Clark took his hand, squeezing it tightly, and Grizz had Sam, so, he stayed with Clark.

“Don’t go,” Clark begged.

Jason stepped back close to him, nodding.

“It’s okay, you’re okay,” Jason said.

“Why can’t I feel it?” Clark asked.

“You’re in shock.”

“Is it bleeding a lot? I bet it’s bleeding a lot,” Clark went to look down, but with his free hand, Jason placed his fingertips under Clark’s chin, making him look up.

“Don’t look at it,” Jason said.

Clark just looked at him and nodded quickly. Clark had never been too good when it came to injuries. With football there had been broken bones, and cuts and grazes and Clark never liked looking at them or being on the receiving end of them; even if Clark often put himself in dangerous situations to get those injuries. This was a lot worse than what he had been through though.

“Does anything else feel weird or hurt?” Jason asked.

“No,” Clark answered.

“Good, you’re okay. Ambulance is on their way,” Jason said. 

“How are they gonna take it out?” Clark asked.

“Don’t think about that.”

“It’s gonna fucking hurt,” Clark’s voice shook. Jason slipped his hand around the back of Clark’s neck, soothingly gliding his fingers along the skin, back and forth.

“Don’t think about it,” Jason told him.

“I’m gonna need stitches. Oh fuck…I can’t Jason, I can’t,” Clark panicked.

“You’ll be okay. They’ll numb you up. You’ll be fine,” Jason assured him.

“I hate needles.”

“I know you do, babe. I know you do. It’s okay,” Jason said.

“I’m freaking out.”

“It’s okay.”

Clark broke the eye contact and looked around, “where’s Grizz? Is he okay?”

“He’s okay,” Gwen said, and fuck, when did she get there? And Erica was standing there too next to her. They were both looking at them, and Jason hadn’t realized how it looked; with his one hand around the back of Clark’s neck and the other laced with Clark’s. Jason didn’t dare move away though.

He looked back to Clark as he heard sirens getting closer, “you hear that? That’s the ambulance. They’re gonna take you to hospital where all the very well-trained doctors are.”

“Can you come?” Clark asked, his eyes filled with desperation.

“I’ll be right behind you,” Jason said.

“No, don’t fucking leave me. Please?” Clark pleaded. Jason wanted to go with him, but he knew how ambulances worked.

“I can’t. They’ll take good care of you. You’ll be fine,” Jason said.

“No, it’s gonna hurt,” Clark whined, “I’m scared.”

“Do you want me to call Justin?” Jason asked, and he wasn’t sure why he was asking. He hated Justin.

“Who?” Clark asked before realization crossed his face, “oh. No. He can’t see me like this.”

Jason just nodded. Before long the ambulances had arrived and were coming over to them.

“I’ll see you at the hospital,” Jason said to Clark before giving him a quick kiss on his forehead. He stepped away, having had to fight his hand free of Clark’s. He backed away as the paramedics took over.

Jason headed back towards Luke’s car where the others were all scattered, waiting as the paramedics checked out Clark and Grizz. Jason found himself by Gwen, who was staring at him.

“What was that?” Gwen asked.

“Not fucking now, Gwen,” Jason said, because he knew what she saw, and what she heard.

“I have questions,” she said.

“Not now,” Jason snapped.

He stormed away from her. He didn’t have the patience for her gossiping today. He sat down on the street curb, away from the bystanders and his friends. He watched on as the paramedics helped Clark step out of the car. It looked like the shock had worn off and he was in pain. Jason’s own shock had worn off too, and all he felt was relief because the outcome could have been a lot worse.

“Are you okay?” a soft voice spoke. Jason looked up to see Erica. She sat down next to him.

“Yeah, I wasn’t the one in a car accident,” Jason said.

She went quiet as they watched the paramedics. It was funny. They were technically together, but sitting there next to her, a foot’s distance between them, well, Erica didn’t feel like his girlfriend at all.

“I think I’m gonna walk home,” Erica said.

“Okay,” Jason said simply, not putting up a fight.

“Also…I feel like we should break up,” she said.

Jason finally looked to her, “why?”

“Because…you haven’t really been that into us lately,” she said. Jason nodded. That was true. “And also,” she went on, “you’re in love with Clark, so…”

“I’m not,” Jason defended quickly.

“Sweetie…” she said, giving him a knowing look that only set Jason off.

“What the fuck do you know, Erica? I’m not into guys like _that_. I don’t date guys,” Jason argued.

“Yeah and neither did Clark, until he did,” she said.

Jason ignored her because it was all bullshit, right? He wasn’t in love with Clark. He couldn’t be. He didn’t like guys like _that_. Not on an emotional level. And he definitely didn’t like Clark. They were friends, that’s all, just really close friends. Right? They had to be. Unless…

“Fuck…” Jason whispered.

“Good luck with that,” Erica said, patting Jason’s shoulder, “I’ll see you at school.”

\---

What a fucking day it had been for Clark. He had been in a car crash, had a giant piece of glass stuck in his arm that he had to get stitches because of. It had been awful and none of his friends were even allowed to be in the room with him. Clark had been so scared and he fucking _hated_ getting needles, so stitches was a pretty bad experience to say the least.

It didn’t end there though. They all went back to Luke’s, well, just Jason, Luke, Helena and Gwen had, and then Luke had gotten a text that Grizz had been hurt by his dad. Clark’s first instinct was to go and beat the shit out of the man, but Jason made him stay. Clark saw nothing but rage. The thought of anyone hurting one of his friends was the worst.

Clark was stuck there with Helena and Gwen, waiting for Luke and Jason to come back with Grizz, and they had been gone for a really long time. When Helena excused herself to go and get a drink, Gwen practically pounced on Clark, sitting next to him on the couch.

“Okay, you gotta tell me, what is going on between you and Jason?” she asked with a grin.

“Nothing.”

“Oh, come on, you guys have been really weird lately, and then earlier, he called you babe. I know you guys are close but like, come on. So, spill,” she urged.

Clark didn’t want to talk to her about this. Maybe he would have felt comfortable talking to her about this once upon a time, but they hadn’t been close in a really long time. In fact, Gwen had treated him as though he were a piece of shit.

“You’ve done nothing but hate me since we broke up, and now you suddenly care what’s going on in my life?” he asked. She looks a bit taken aback.

“I care…I’ve always cared,” she said.

“No, you haven’t. Gwen, you’re a fucking bitch, and like, that’s fine. That’s just you, but let’s not pretend we’re friends,” Clark said.

“Clark...”

“What?”

“The only reason we haven’t been friends was because you obsessed over me after we broke up. You wouldn’t leave me alone. Every time I was nice to you, you thought it was a chance to get back together with me, so I had to be mean to you so you’d get the point,” she explained.

“I was in love with you and you treated me like shit,” he said.

“I’m sorry, okay? It was a sucky break up, but can’t we move past that and be friends now?” she asked. She pouted, sticking out her bottom lip, and Clark had always had a soft spot for her, so he gave in pretty quickly, nodding. What was the point in arguing when there was a chance of friendship?

“So…” Gwen the gossip queen started again. Clark was saved though when the front door opened. The two looked towards it before getting up and rushing over, being joined by Helena. Luke, Jason and a fucked up looking Grizz walked through the door.

Grizz looked like absolute shit and he barely said a word to any of them. He just asked to go to bed and Luke took him upstairs. Clark cared a lot for Grizz, like a huge amount. Seeing him hurt was the worst. He wanted to leave the house and go beat the shit out of his dad. He knew that if he ever saw the man again then he would probably do just that.

“He’ll be okay,” Jason said as he placed his hand on Clark’s shoulder.

Clark looked to him, “are you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m good. How’s the arm?” Jason asked.

“Still numb.”

“That’s good. You should probably get on some pain killers before the anaesthetic wears off,” Jason said.

“Already have.”

Luke came jogging back downstairs where Clark, Jason, Gwen and Helena were waiting.

“He’s gonna have a shower and go to bed. I’ve texted Sam to come over. I think the rest of us should just call it a night,” Luke said.

“Good idea, I’m fucking exhausted,” Clark said.

“Gwen, you can take the room across from mine. Jason and Clark can take the end of the hall,” Luke said.

Clark and Jason looked to each other. Right. Fuck. Clark didn’t really think of that; that staying at Luke’s meant sharing a bed with Jason. He was so tired and drained that he didn’t really care at that point.

“Goodnight, guys,” Gwen said before she headed to the stairs.

“See you in the morning,” Helena added.

Clark and Jason followed them all upstairs, each of them going to their respective rooms. Jason shut the door behind them and the two, once again, looked at each other, an air of tension between the two.

“I can take the floor,” Clark said.

“No,” was all Jason said before he took his shirt off, and then his jeans, leaving himself in his boxers. He got on the double bed, crawling under the blankets.

Clark hesitated. He had a boyfriend now. Was it okay that he was sleeping in a bed with another guy? Gwen didn’t mind it when Clark and Jason slept in the same bed when they were dating, then again, back then they were just friends, no benefits, and Gwen didn’t know Clark liked guys back then. Hell, Clark didn’t even know himself.

“Just get in bed, Clark,” Jason said impatiently, “and turn the light off while you’re at it.”

Clark decided it was okay. There was nothing going on with him and Jason. They were just friends. Actually, lately it didn’t even seem like that, but when the car crash happened, everything changed. Clark didn’t want anyone there with him except for Jason. He had held onto his hand for dear life, and Jason was there for him, completely forgetting whatever awkwardness had been going on between the two.

Clark turned the light off before getting undressed and getting into his side of the bed. It was warm under there; that was Clark’s first thought. A bit too warm, actually, but he stayed put. He could hear his heart beating in his ears and he tried his best to get his mind off of how nervous he was, because why the _fuck_ was he nervous?

He thought about what happened that night. He thought about Grizz, how he was still so mad about what happened. It wasn’t fair because Grizz was a good guy. He didn’t deserve it.

“His dad beat him up because he’s gay, right?” Clark asked.

“Yeah.”

“Do your parents know about you?”

“Yeah.

“They’re okay with it?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you think mine would be?”

“Yes,” Jason said adamantly, and Clark believed him.

The two went quiet again. They both lay side by side on their backs. Clark stared at the ceiling, his eyes adjusting to the darkness. He had been so tired just minutes before, and now he was wide awake. He wondered where he left his phone. He hadn’t texted Justin in a little while. He couldn’t be bothered to go and get it though.

Jason sighed and Clark could feel his eyes on him. A moment later, Jason’s fingers had found Clark’s as he laced a couple of them together. Clark stayed still, barely even breathing. What was he doing?

“I was really fucking scared today,” Jason whispered.

“At Grizz’s?”

“No. When I saw that car hit you,” Jason said, voice barely audible.

“I’m fine,” Clark assured him.

“Yeah, but you might not have been,” Jason said.

“It’s fine, bro,” Clark said, squeezing Jason’s fingers lightly.

“I don’t want to fight anymore,” Jason said as he rolled onto his side. Warmth radiated from Jason’s body to Clark’s as their entire lengths touched lightly. Clark looked at him, only just making out his outline in the dark.

“We’re not fighting,” Clark said. Bullshit.

“We are and I hate it,” Jason said.

“Me too,” Clark murmured.

“I’ve missed hanging out with you. I’ve missed being us,” Jason said.

Clark’s heart was racing. He was frozen in place. The thing was, he really missed Jason too. Like, really fucking bad.

“Me too.”

“It’s my fault,” Jason said, “I wanna fix it.”

Clark didn’t know what to say. Perhaps he should have realized where the conversation was heading or what Jason meant by it. Maybe he was a little slow. Maybe Jason hadn’t been clear. Maybe the tone of his voice wasn’t obvious enough, but Clark quickly clued in when he felt Jason’s lips against his cheek, brushing across it lightly.

“What are you doing?” Clark asked in a small voice.

“What does it look like?” Jason whispered, his breath ghosting along Clark’s cheek.

The next moment Jason’s lips were on his. It was just so familiar, like hearing a song you hadn’t heard since you were kid. Clark found himself indulging in it as he kissed Jason back. Their lips moved together in a way they were both so used to. Their tongues massaged together as Clark remembered the way Jason tasted. He wasn’t thinking in those few seconds, but when he finally came back to his senses, he pushed Jason away.

“I have a boyfriend,” Clark told him. Guilt washed over him. It might have only been a few seconds, but he still did it.

“So?

“So? So you have a girlfriend,” Clark said incredulously. This wasn’t Jason. It just wasn’t.

“She’s not my girlfriend anymore. We broke up,” Jason said. What? When? That didn’t matter, because it became clear to Clark what this was.

“I’m not some rebound toy,” Clark grumbled.

“I know you’re not,” Jason said quickly.

Clark was already out of bed, avoiding the hand from Jason that tried to stop him.

“I know you’re not. Clark, she broke up with me beca-“

“Just stop, please? I have a boyfriend, and I really fucking like him, and I’m not gonna cheat on him. I’m sleeping downstairs on the couch,” Clark said.

He left the room before his anger at the situation would make him say something he regretted. It was so unfair. Clark felt so used. Jason wanted him as a friend’s with benefits before, and that was fine, they agreed to that, but he was so quick to dump him for Erica, and literally the day they broke up he suddenly wanted to fuck around again? Clark wasn’t having any of it. He had a good thing going on with Justin, and if staying away from Jason meant keeping that good thing going, then he would do it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Just one more chapter I want to write and we'll be caught up time-line wise, then I'll get back to updating Vulnerable! Thanks for your patience!!


	8. The sex talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 7 recap: Clark and Justin's relationship continued. Clark went to see one of his shows and was surprised to see Jason and Erica there. Jason met Justin and hates him because Justin accidentally outed him and Clark's friends with benefits thing to Erica, but we all know he hates Justin because he's jealous as heck. Clark and Jason butted heads about Jason's attitude towards Justin. Clark got in a car crash and Jason was super scared and looked after him the best he could. Both Gwen and Erica caught on to there being something else going on with the boys. Erica broke up with Jason. Jason ended up kissing Clark who was mad about it because he doesn't wanna cheat. 
> 
> Okay at this point in the story we are between chapters 45 and 46 of Vulnerable.

It had been a little over a week since the car accident, which also meant it had been a little over a week since Clark had spoken to Jason. After the kiss, and realizing that all Jason ever wanted was to hook up with him, Clark decided he had to keep his distance. He had a really good thing going on with Justin and didn’t want to ruin it because of the temptation constantly dangling in front of his face.

It was a bit awkward. Obviously, Clark and Jason had all the same friends. They hung out every lunch break at school. They would still sit together in class out of habit. They would still hang out after school with the entire group too, which was what they were doing that night. They found themselves at Luke’s house, which Clark supposed was also now Grizz’s house since he had been living there ever since being kicked out of home. It was Helena’s birthday and they were having a bit of a mini-party with just their usual friend group, including Sam and Becca.

“Okay, Pizza is ordered,” Becca said after she got off the phone, “but it’s pick-up. Who’s going?”

“I’ll go,” Clark and Jason both said at the same time. They looked at each other; each of them situated on opposite sides of the living room. It wasn’t unusual for them both to offer. Usually they would go together, never missing the opportunity for a road trip, even if the road trip was five minutes in total.

“I’m fine to go,” Clark said.

“No, it’s cool, I’ll go,” Jason said.

“My car is parked behind yours. I’ll go,” Clark said.

“You can just move it,” Jason argued.

“How about you _both_ go,” Gwen said.

The two looked at her, realizing that all eyes were on them. Of course, no one really knew what had went on between Clark and Jason, except Grizz, sort of, and maybe Sam. They had kept up a bit of a charade when they were around their friends, pretending everything was fine between them. Not wanting to cause drama or make it obvious their friendship had disintegrated, Clark nodded.

“I’ll drive,” he said.

The two got up and left the house, one after the other. The last person Clark wanted to be alone with was Jason. After that kiss, well, he was pretty mad, and confused. He didn’t want to be some toy that Jason used whenever he was single, and the fact that Jason even tried that on him hurt. It made Clark feel like a piece of meat.

“You don’t have to come,” Clark said as they got to his car. Jason stood at the other side, looking over the roof at him.

“Do you hate me that much?” Jason asked.

“No,” Clark frowned, “I don’t hate you at all.”

“Great, let’s go get pizza then,” Jason said. He opened the passenger door and got in. Clark only hesitated for a moment before getting in too. He started up the car and backed out of Luke’s driveway before heading off down the street.

Being there, in the silence of the car, made it all the more obvious how much their relationship had changed. Usually they would be singing along to music and laughing with each other. Now though, it felt like they barely knew each other. It was tense. It was always so tense, no matter where they were. They could barely meet each other’s eyes. They had barely said ten words to each other over the past week. A large part of Clark was upset by this. They were supposed to be best friends. But, at the same time, Clark had to consider his relationship with Justin and how being close to Jason at that time was a bad idea.

“I’m sorry I kissed you,” Jason broke the silence, “I knew you had a boyfriend and it was out of line”

_I’m sorry I kissed you_. The comment left a queasy feeling in Clark’s stomach.

“It’s okay,” Clark said.

“How are things with Justin?” Jason asked curiously. Clark was expecting a silent ride. The very last thing he was expecting was for Jason to ask him about the guy he apparently hated for no goddamn reason. Justin had been nothing but nice to Clark, and faithful. The comment Jason made about him being a manwhore still bothered Clark. It was the furthest thing from the truth.

“Good,” Clark settled on saying.

“Cool.”

“Yeah,” Clark nodded, “uhm…sorry to hear about you and Erica.”

Jason snorted, “it’s whatever.”

“What happened?” Clark asked. He was just being polite, really. Jason had asked him about Justin, so it was only fair he asked about his life too, right? Or maybe Clark was also a bit curious.

“She broke up with me,” Jason said.

“Why?”  
  


“Because…I like someone else,” he mumbled.

“Who?” Clark asked. His fingers tightened around the steering wheel. He felt sick and he didn’t really know why. How could Jason like _another_ person. The boy needed a damn break. Well, that was a bit hypocritical of Clark given how he jumped from person to person. Maybe Jason was the same. 

“You don’t know them,” Jason said after a moment’s silence.

Clark didn’t comment as the two made it to the pizza store. They both got out and paid before taking the pizzas, which there were _way_ too many for the small group, back to the car. Clark got in the driver’s side first and took out his phone, sending a quick text to Justin.

**Hey can we hang out later tonight after your show? **– Clark.

Clark shoved his phone back in his pocket and started up the car as Jason climbed in. Once again, they were on the road, and Clark’s head was filled with questions about what they were talking about before.

“So, this person you like, you’re dating them now?” Clark asked.

“No,” Jason answered.

“Why not?”

“It wouldn’t work,” Jason said. Clark glanced at him, seeing him staring out the window, slouched in his seat.

“Why not?”

“I’m not sure it’s what I really want,” he said.

“How?”

“They’re not my type.”

“But you like them?” Clark was confused. If you like someone, date them. Was it not that simple? Unless they didn’t like Jason back. Maybe it was the same as Clark liking Grizz.

“It’s complicated,” Jason sighed.

“Why?”

“It could ruin our friendship,” Jason said, and then he started laughing.

“Why are you laughing?” Clark asked, glancing at him before back at the road.

“Doesn’t matter,” Jason muttered, “they have a boyfriend anyway, so…”

“Shit dude, that sucks,” Clark said.

“Yep,” he said, and that was that. Clark could tell he didn’t want to talk about it any longer. Clark wondered who the person was. If Clark didn’t know her then she probably went to a different school, or maybe a college. Clark had no idea how Jason even had the time to like someone else between fucking around with him and being with Erica. Maybe he had someone else on the side the entire time.

The two got back to Luke’s house and went inside, setting the pizza down on the coffee table in front of their very eager friends. Clark only had a couple of pieces. He wasn’t that hungry. He kept checking his phone, waiting for a reply from Justin which never came. He sent another text.

**You’re probably busy with the show. Let me know what you’re doing after. I wanna come overrrrr. **– Clark.

Clark was addicted to spending time with Justin, but they didn’t hang out even nearly enough. Justin was often pre-occupied with all of his college classes and study sessions. He took college really seriously, almost as serious as his band. Justin was really clever, not only studying music, but art as well. He took Clark to an art museum once and Clark didn’t really get it, but he nodded along, pretending he understood everything Justin was saying about art and expression and abstract and other words that went in one ear and out the other.

Clark knew he had fallen for Justin. He was so charming and so much fun, and he made Clark feel like he was special. Clark never really thought he would be the type of person to get all soft on the inside because of the way someone spoke to him, but he did. He fell so quickly, and that was why the decision two nights ago to have sex with Justin was an easy one. The _decision_ was. Actually doing it was another story.

Clark wanted Justin to like him and he was so afraid that if he didn’t take the next step then he would get bored with him, so, he took the step. They slept together and well, it was kind of weird. Clark had never been more nervous for anything in his entire life. It wasn’t Clark’s favorite thing to do. He much preferred topping, but he was willing to compromise. It was uncomfortable and it hurt a lot more than he thought it would.

Clark wanted to like it. He _needed_ to like it because he wanted to make Justin happy. He wondered if it was just because it was his first time that it sucked. He wondered if it would be better the next time. He had questions, and he wasn’t going to ask Jason for advice. The only other people he could ask were Grizz and Sam.

“Hey,” Clark said to Grizz, tapping Sam’s shoulder too to get their attention. The three had been sitting on one couch together while a movie played, but he could tell Grizz and Sam weren’t even paying attention to it and only each other. Clark was actually surprised to find he wasn’t that jealous of all the hand-holding and kisses on the cheek that went on between the two of them. He didn’t have a reason to be jealous anymore. He had Justin.

“What’s up?” Grizz asked.

“Can I talk to you two about something?” Clark whispered.

Grizz and Sam looked at other, Grizz mouthing something to Sam before Sam nodded. The two got up and Clark went with them. They headed outside, onto the porch where it was quiet and they were alone. Clark didn’t have much shame when it came to talking about personal things, even sex, so that was why he didn’t even hesitate in asking his friends for help.

Sam and Grizz sat on the porch steps while Clark stood at the bottom of them, facing them. Sam just looked confused, and Grizz was curious.

“What’s going on, Clark?” Grizz asked.

“Okay, so, I need to talk to someone about gay sex,” Clark said.

Grizz’s eyebrows shot up while Sam just looked amused, although still a little confused. Sam turned to Grizz and signed something quickly to him, to which Grizz nodded and said, “yeah, that’s what he said.”

Sam looked back to Clark and nodded for him to go on.

“So…you two have had sex, right?” Clark asked.

The two looked at each other again, a silent exchange going on between the two of them before they nodded at each other.

“Yes,” Grizz said, looking back at him.

“Cool. So, do you both bottom or?” Clark asked.

Once again, the two looked at each other, silently asking permission before Grizz turned back to Clark.

“He has, I haven’t,” Grizz said.

“Oh shit, so you’re not into it or?” Clark asked.

“I just haven’t tried it,” Grizz shrugged.

“Why not?”

“No reason, really. I’m gonna one day,” Grizz said.

“It doesn’t freak you out or anything?” Clark.

“Nope,” Grizz shook his head, “but everyone’s different. Some people are into it, some aren’t.”

“Right, right, I get that,” Clark nodded along.

“Are you thinking about doing it with someone?” Sam asked.

“I already have,” Clark said.

Both of them looked surprised, glancing at each other once more. Clark was beginning to feel a bit antsy with the entire conversation. Grizz clearly wasn’t the person he needed to talk to about this, so he focused on Sam. He went and sat next to him so he could read his lips easier, one on one.

“Did it hurt a lot the first time?” Clark asked.

“A little. At first, yeah, but it got a lot better pretty quick because I was really into it and Grizz and I had practiced for a while before,” Sam said.

“Practiced?”

“Yeah, like…fingers and stuff…for a couple weeks, just to get me used to it,” Sam said.

“Jesus,” Grizz muttered under his breath. Clark could see the pink tint on his cheeks but Sam didn’t seem to have a problem at all with the conversation, and Clark was learning, so neither did he.

“Hm, maybe that’s where I went wrong,” Clark pondered.

“Did he stretch you a lot or was it just quick?” Sam asked.

“He stretched me, he did. He’s not a sadistic jerk or anything. I just don’t know why I wasn’t into it as much. Like what the hell is the secret to bottoming?” Clark asked.

“There’s no secret,” Sam laughed, “it’s just lube, a lot of lube, and patience and trusting the guy you’re with to take care of you.”

Clark glanced to Grizz; the smartest person he knew, who nodded along with the statement. So, that’s what they needed? Those three things? Clark thought he had that. They used lube. Justin was patient with him, and Clark trusted him. It still didn’t feel right though.

“Do you ever, like, get a…panicky kind of feeling?” Clark asked, feeling a little dumb for the question.

“No…what do you mean?” Sam asked.

“I don’t know…it just feels so…like, have you ever been claustrophobic?” Clark asked.

“Sort of?”

“It’s like that,” Clark said.

Sam frowned in concern as he glanced to Grizz. Grizz mirrored his expression.

“Dude, I don’t think you should be doing this. Maybe you’re not into that,” Grizz said.

“But I want to,” Clark said quickly, “I really want to be with him.”

“You don’t have to have sex to be with him,” Grizz said.

“I like him a lot though, and I know I can learn to love it,” Clark said confidently.

Once again, Grizz and Sam looked to each other. At that moment, Clark’s phone started ringing. He quickly took his phone from his pocket and saw Justin’s name there on the screen. Clark smiled wide as he stood.

“It’s him,” he told them, “stay here. This conversation is not over. I’ll be back.”

Clark jogged across the front lawn to get a bit of privacy. He pressed the answer button as he sat down on the street curb.

“Hello?” Clark answered.

“Clark, hey,” the all too familiar British accent spoke.

“Hey you, I thought you were playing a show,” Clark said. God, his cheeks hurt so much from smiling already.

“I am. I’m about to. I just wanted to call you first,” Justin said.

“Oh yeah, miss me?” Clark teased.

For a moment the line was silent except for Justin’s breathing. Maybe he didn’t hear him. Clark was about to speak again when the silence was broken.

“Listen…Clark…” Justin started.

“Yeah?” Clark was nervous now. He knew that tone.

“I just called you because… well, I think that maybe it’s best for us to end things now,” Justin said, his tone awkward and unsure. And Clark felt hot all over, in the worst possible way. His skin prickled and his stomach flipped. He remembered feeling that exact way when Gwen broke up with him.

“You’re…breaking up with me?” Clark asked.

“I like you Clark, really, I do. You’re really fun and always up for a good time but…it’s just that…I can’t really see it working past that,” Justin said.

Clark closed his eyes, taking in a deep breath before going on, “why not?”

“I’m finding it hard to connect, I guess, like we’re on different wavelengths,” he explained, but Clark didn’t get it. It felt like they were connecting.

“How?”

“Like, intellectually, you know? We have fun but…I need someone who is at the same level as me, you know, conversationally and shit, like, we don’t really have those deep conversations that I want. We don’t talk about the important things. It’s all very surface level, and I’ve tried, you know? I’ve tried bringing up other topics and I see you either don’t get it or don’t care,” he said.

Clark knew without a doubt that he _did_ care about everything they spoke about, which meant that he didn’t _get it. _Clark felt like throwing up.

“You think I’m not smart enough for you?” Clark asked as all of his insecurities rose to the surface. This was like Gwen all over again. It was _exactly_ like that.

“It’s not that. You’re just younger that I am, and…I don’t know. I never meant to hurt you or anything. I just can’t see us moving forward past this fun, meaningless kind of stage,” Justin said.

Each word was hitting him like a smack in the face. Meaningless? Really? Holy shit, had Clark completely imagined the level of their relationship? Had it really been just casual _nothingness_? Clark was going to be sick. He chewed on the inside of his cheek, forcing it down.

“Clark, are you there?” Justin asked.

“Yeah,” Clark choked out.

“Are you okay?” Justin asked in a soft voice.

“Yeah.”

“Okay, well…I, uhm, I gotta go. It’s been really fun getting to know you-”

Clark hung up. He didn’t want to hear anything else because what did it matter? They were broken up with. He _broke up_ with him. Everything was so quiet except for the ringing in Clark’s ears. How could Justin just reject him like that? And over the phone too? He was starting to really fall for this guy, and it was over, just like that.

Clark had to get out of there. He didn’t want to be around anyone. He just wanted to go home and crawl into his bed and pretend the night never happened. Swallowing everything he was feeling, Clark got up and made a beeline for his car. His hands trembled as he fished his keys from his pocket and unlocked the door.

“Clark!” Grizz called out.

Fuck. Clark forgot Grizz and Sam were still there. Clark paused at the car door and looked over. Grizz was jogging towards him and Sam stayed put on the porch.

“What are you doing?” Grizz asked as he got to him.

“I’m not feeling well. I think I’m just gonna go,” Clark said. His voice had betrayed him. It quivered as he desperately tried to stop himself from crying.

“What’s wrong?” Grizz asked.

“Nothing.”

“You’re shaking. What happened?” Grizz asked.

Clark went to open his door, but Grizz pushed it back shut. Clark looked at him, blinking through the unshed tears. He took a few deep breaths. Grizz, despite Clark having a crush on him at one point, was like the big brother of the group. He was the wise one, the reliable one, the trustworthy one, and that kind of person was easy to talk to about his problems. Maybe Grizz could make sense of what just happened because Clark couldn’t comprehend it.

“Justin broke up with me,” Clark whispered, afraid that if he tried to use his voice that it would betray him once more.

“What? Just then? On the phone?” Grizz asked.

Clark could only nod.

“Fuck, bro, I’m sorry,” Grizz said.

Clark merely shrugged as he once again chewed on the inside of his cheek. He was just so confused.

“Did he say why?” Grizz asked.

“Because I’m a fucking moron,” Clark said. He was more angry at himself than Justin.

“What do you mean?” Grizz asked.

“He said we don’t connect intellectually, whatever the fuck that means,” Clark said.

“Oh.”

“You get that though, right? I mean, you don’t like me because I’m just a dumbass, right?” Clark asked.

“I like you, Clark. I don’t like you in _that_ way because I love Sam and you’re my friend,” he explained. He was right, Clark knew that. He didn’t mean to get so angry. It was just that it was the same thing happening _again_ and he didn’t know how to fix it. Clark didn’t know how to be a different person.

“I’m unlovable,” Clark murmured.

“No, you’re not,” Grizz shook his head.

“Yes, I am. What the fuck is wrong with me?” Clark asked. A tear fell which he hastily wiped away. He didn’t want to cry in front of him. He felt pathetic enough as it was.

“Nothing’s wrong with you,” Grizz said, and Clark could sense there was an ending to that sentence that he didn’t finish. 

“Except?”

“You’re just putting way too much pressure on yourself,” Grizz said.

“How?”

“You’re only eighteen. You’ve had two real relationships and you think you’re unlovable,” Grizz said like it was ridiculous, and maybe it was, but it wasn’t to Clark.

“I am. Everyone I go for, everyone I have feelings for just…doesn’t…they don’t…” Clark’s throat tightened and he had to stop.

“Gwen loved you,” Grizz said.

“No, Gwen broke up with me for the same reason, because she wanted more, she wanted some fancy college boy,” Clark said bitterly.

“Okay…that’s two people. _Two_ people that you haven’t connected with. And then me who had Sam. And then there’s Jason-“

“I don’t like Jason like that,” Clark blurted out.

“Come on…” Grizz said, tilting his head to the side. He looked at Clark like he knew Clark’s deepest secrets. Clark looked down at the ground. The mere mention of Jason hurt Clark the most, because they were best friends, practically the same person in a lot of ways but Clark wasn’t even good enough for him.

“I’m gonna go,” Clark said.

“Dude, don’t. Just stay. Come back inside, or we can stay out here and talk,” Grizz said.

“I wanna go,” Clark said.

“Clark-“

“Please just let me go,” Clark sobbed. He was losing it. He pushed Grizz away from door and got in, shutting and locking the door behind him. He started up the car and recklessly backed out of the driveway, almost hitting the Holbrook’s mail box before speeding off down the street.

He took in deep, heavy breaths as he stopped himself from crying. He didn’t want his parents asking him what was wrong. They didn’t even know he was dating a boy, let alone just been broken up by one. He drove home slow, giving him enough time to get himself together.

When he got home, his parents and his sister were all downstairs watching a movie. He said a quick hello to them and said he must have gotten food poisoning and was unwell, which was why he was home early. He didn’t stay with them though. He was desperate to get into his room where he could lock the door and be by himself.

He did just that. The moment he was alone without another soul to interrupt him, he let it all out. The tears came hot and fast, and so did the sobbing which scratched at his throat and made his head pound. He sat on the floor by his bed, his head in his hands, doubled over into a ball, like a child.

What Clark wanted more than anything else in the world was to be loved. Not just loved in the way a friend like Grizz would love him. Not in the way his parents would love him. He wanted real, genuine, soulmate sort of love. He wanted what Sam and Grizz had. He wanted what Helena and Luke had. No one took him seriously enough for it. He was just a stepping stone people jumped on before moving on to their real relationships.

Clark had never felt more alone in his entire life. He was sinking further in the depths of that train of thought when there was knock on his bedroom window. He jumped, his heart racing as he looked up. He couldn’t see the person on the other side because of the glare from his light, but he knew it was Jason. There was only person daring enough to scale the rickety trellis and vines that covered the wall of the house. Clark also knew how many times Jason had fallen from there, so he was quick to get up and open his window.

“What the hell are you doing?” Clark asked.

“Came to check on you, Juliet,” Jason said as he hoisted himself up through the window.

“I’m good,” Clark said.

Even though his crying had momentarily stopped, he knew his eyes would be red and his face wet and splotchy. He turned away from Jason, willing his face to go back to normal.

“Grizz told me what happened,” Jason said.

“Yeah, well, plenty more fish in the sea, right?” Clark said.

He kept his back to Jason. Even when Jason tried to step around him to face him, Clark turned away.

“You don’t have to hide from me Clark,” Jason.

“I’m not. I’m good, really. I’m over it. It’s all good, so you can go now,” Clark said.

Jason didn’t say anything for a moment. Clark closed his eyes, trying so damn hard to control his emotions, because fuck, Jason probably loved this, right? He hated Justin. Maybe he was even right about Justin. Maybe Justin was a manwhore. Maybe after they had sex he decided he got what he wanted and it was time to move on. Clark would never really know the truth.

“I’m sorry he broke up with you,” Jason said, his voice soft and caring.

Clark didn’t say anything. He couldn’t. He stood there with his eyes closed, tears leaking down his cheeks. It hurt so fucking bad and Clark had no idea how to make it stop. What did help, even if for only a second, was Justin’s hand on the back of his neck as his fingers ran through his hair. Clark whimpered, turning his head again as he let out a sob.

“It’s okay,” Jason told him.

Even with his eyes closed Clark could sense that Jason had moved around in front of him, and the next moment he was engulfed in warmth as Jason wrapped his arms around his broad shoulders. The moment he did, Clark realized he didn’t need a pep talk from Grizz. What he needed was his _best friend_; his best friend who was barely a friend anymore but had always been there for him.

Clark gave in to the touch. He slid his arms around Jason’s back and buried his face in his neck as he let down the barriers and the flood gates opened once more. He sobbed, his body shaking, and it was so embarrassing but all Jason did was hold Clark and run his fingers through his hair while quietly ‘shushing’ him.

Clark clung on to Jason’s shirt, not wanting to let go. He needed Jason. He couldn’t have lost his best friend _and _his boyfriend. It would be Clark’s fault if he had lost Jason though. He chose Justin over Jason and it was the dumbest thing he had ever done, because now he might have ruined his relationship with the one person who would always be there for him. He was an idiot.

“I’m never gonna be good enough for anyone,” Clark said into Jason’s neck. The crying had stopped, but he was far from okay.

“Stop it, Clark. You’re amazing,” Jason said.

“No, I’m not.”

“Yes, you are. Look at me,” Jason said, pulling back only a fraction. He took Clark’s face in hands, gently wiping away the leftover tears. Clark looked back at him helplessly.

“There is someone out there that loves everything about you. _Trust me_ when I say that,” Jason said. He meant it too, but Clark found it so hard to believe.

“What’s there to love?” Clark asked.

“So many things. Clark, you’re funny, you’re hot. You’re driven. You’re ambitious, even if it’s not what everyone else thinks you should be ambitious about. You’re loyal as hell, you-”

“I wasn’t loyal to you,” Clark interrupted.

“You were loyal to your partner,” Jason corrected him.

“I suck. I’m so sorry,” Clark said, “I shouldn’t have picked him. I shouldn’t have pushed you away. I’m the fucking worst. I fucking _suck.”_

“You don’t. You suck the least out of everyone I know. You’re like my most favorite person in the whole world and I hate seeing you so down like this. You’re too smart to feel like this,” Jason said. His words pulled at Clark’s heart. Smart was not a word people used to describe him.

“I’m not.”

“You are. You may not be book smart, sure, but there’s a lot more going on in that pretty head of yours, Clark. You look at the world differently to anyone I’ve ever met. You’ve got this cute, naïve innocence about you that people absolutely adore. That _I_ fucking adore. You give everything your all, and yeah you fall so hard and so fast for people that don’t deserve it and that’s your downfall, but you give them your all no matter what, because that’s just the type of person you are. You’re ride or die. Anyone would be so god damn lucky to have you. You’re a fucking catch, Clark,” Jason said.

Clark’s heart was racing. No one had ever said so many nice things about him in one go. Did Jason really mean all that? Did he really see that person in him? No one saw him like that. No one. Clark was a mess. He didn’t know what he was doing and didn’t know what he was thinking. He just knew that Jason was making him feel better.

Before Clark knew what he was doing, he was leaning forward. He wanted to kiss Jason. He needed to. Jason watched him, his eyes flicking to Clark’s lips.

“Clark…” Jason warned.

“Please,” Clark pleaded.

Their noses touched and Clark mentally begged for Jason to kiss him. He needed the relief. He needed the tension to be lifted. He needed the warm feeling in his chest that Jason always gave him. He needed to not have his heart shattered into a million pieces.

“Can I?” Clark asked.

“You’re upset,” Jason said.

Clark went to close the gap, but Jason turned his head away. Clark stood there, looking at him with puppy dog eyes. Of course Jason didn’t want him. _Of course. _Clark looked to the ground, feeling so stupid and ashamed.

“I’m sorry,” Clark said. He stepped away and sat down on the edge of his bed. Jason sighed and sat down next to him.

“It’s okay,” Jason said.

“It’s not. Everything’s fucked,” Clark lay on his back, staring up at the ceiling.

“It’s not fucked. You were with a guy, and now you’re not. It happens, and it sucks, but you move on,” Jason said. That was easy for him to say, but it wasn’t easy for Clark. He had invested in this guy. He got attached. He had given himself to this guy because he thought it was real, and the guy didn’t. The guy thought it was just fun.

“I had sex with him,” Clark admitted.

He looked to Jason who had spun around to Clark so quickly that Clark thought his neck would snap.

“When?” Jason asked.

“Two nights ago.”

“Fuck,” Jason whispered.

“Maybe I wasn’t any good,” Clark said.

“Stop it. You’re anything but bad in bed,” Jason said.

“Yeah but it was the other way around. And I fuckin’ hated it,” Clark said.

Jason paused as he watched Clark. Clark tried to read his face, but he was giving nothing away.

“Why did you do it?” Jason asked.

“I just wanted him to like me,” Clark murmured.

“He’s not good enough for you,” Jason said adamantly.

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

“Nothing is.”

“It just sucks, you know? No one has ever liked me the same way I like them. I fell for Gwen. I fell for Grizz. I fell for Justin. I fell for you. None of you want me,” Clark muttered.

“You didn’t fall for me. You’re just emotional right now,” Jason said.

Clark didn’t mean to say that. He didn’t mean to group Jason in with the others. It just came out and he didn’t even know if he meant that. He couldn’t believe he just said that. He basically confessed he liked Jason more than a friend. As if the night couldn’t have been more of a mess.

“I should go,” Clark said as he sat up.

“It’s your room, Clark,” Jason reminded him, but Clark was already getting up off the bed.

Jason pulled him back down. Clark watched him, wondering what was going through his head. He was waiting from him to say something, but he didn’t. He nodded to the bed, silently telling Clark to lay down. Clark was a mess and probably shouldn’t have been making any decisions on his own, so he took Jason’s instruction and he lay down on the bed.

Jason made him roll onto his side before positioning himself directly behind him. He spooned Clark, holding him close, neither bothered by the fact that they were completely dressed; shoes and all, or that the light was still on or the window still open. Clark lay there, letting himself be held tightly by Jason.

“I didn’t mean it,” Clark said, not wanting things to be any more weird than what they were.

“Didn’t mean what?” Jason asked.

“Falling for you. It was dumb. I’ll get over it. I always do,” Clark said.

“Just go to sleep,” Jason said. Didn’t he have anything else to say? Maybe he was mad at him. Although, Clark doubted he would be there cuddling him if he hated him.

“Do you think I’m a bad person?” Clark asked.

“No, why?”

“I don’t know. The world has to hate me for a reason, right?” Clark said.

“The world doesn’t hate you. I promise,” Jason said. He placed his lips on the back of Clark’s neck, giving it a light kiss, and it was the closest to that warm feeling in his chest that he was going to get that night.

“Do you?” Clark asked.

“Do I what?” Jason shot back.

“Hate me?”

“What for?”

“I don’t know,” Clark murmured.

Jason didn’t push it further. He slipped his fingers between Clark’s and shuffled closer.

“Let’s talk in the morning. Just sleep,” Jason said.

Clark accepted the end of the conversation although he knew in the back of his mind that things with Jason were complicated and they needed to talk, but he was exhausted and wanted nothing more than to fall asleep and forget what happened. The only thing was, when Clark woke the next morning, Jason was gone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!! There's still one, MAYBE two chapters left of this, but probably one. We'll see. I'm gonna go back to writing the next chapter of Vulnerable now. Hopefully a chapter up on the weekend! Thank you for your patience!!


	9. Tell me, tell me, tell me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 8 recap: Jason and Clark have been awkward but tried talking when they were hanging out at Luke's one night. Jason apologised for kissing him and also admitting to liking someone, and he was totally talking about Clark but Clark thinks it's some random girl. Clark asked Grizzam for some sex advise because he tried bottoming with Justin and didn't like it. Grizzam is concerned. Justin called Clark and broke up with him and Clark left upset but Grizz sent Jason after him because he's a great wingman when he's not busy causing drama. Clark thinks nobody likes him because he's dumb and unlovable. Jason comforted him and said a lot of nice things and Clark admitted he fell for Jason but Jason brushed it off as Clark just being upset and Clark agreed, because who needs honest communication? Not these two. Jason said he would talk to Clark more in the morning but he ended up leaving without doing that because he's a fucking moron.
> 
> This chapter is set right before chapter 47 of Vulnerable, so it's what happened with Jason and Clark before Clark went to see Grizz, before the Campbell drama!

Clark and Jason had been at Jason’s house all Saturday afternoon. After getting back to their Saturday morning workout routine, they hung out for a while playing some video games before Jason’s mom yelled at him to go do the yard work like he was supposed to, and Clark offered up a helping hand. That was where they found themselves, in the backyard after having mowed the entirety of it and had since started trimming the hedges that surrounded the fence-line.

Since Justin had broken up with Clark, barely a week ago, things had been getting more and more back to normal every day. At least, with Jason and Clark it had. Then again, Clark wasn’t too sure what exactly _was_ normal when it came to the two of them. When they were friends with benefits, it wasn’t weird for them. Sleeping with each other and seeing each other at school, or hanging out like they had been that day, had become their norm and there had been no awkwardness. It was only when things ended between them and they both got different partners that things became tense, and now that they were both single, they were trying to get back to what they had been like before everything happened. It was doing Clark’s head in, but Jason seemed to be acting as friendly as ever, so Clark went with it.

“Why do you keep looking at your phone?” Jason asked out of nowhere. Clark had barely even realized he took the device out of his pocket. He slid it back in and looked up at his friend.

“Checking the time,” he answered.

“Somewhere to be?” Jason asked.

“Yeah, meeting up with Grizz later,” Clark said.

“Grizz, huh?” Jason looked back to the hedge he was trimming, “why?”

“He’s helping me out with something,” Clark said, getting back to work too.

“Oh,” Jason nodded, “cool.”

“It’s my résumé,” Clark explained, “he promised to make it sound really good.”

“I could help you out,” Jason offered.

“Thanks, but Grizz already said he would,” Clark said.

“I’m surprised he isn’t hanging with Sam. The two are pretty much inseparable,” Jason pointed out, and it was a fair point. He was right.

“He’ll probably be there too,” Clark shrugged.

After a moment’s silence, Clark could feel Jason watching him. He looked up, confirming that he was, in fact, staring at him.

“What?” Clark asked.

“Nothing.”

“Whaaaaaat?” Clark whined.

“Nothing,” Jason shook his head, “it’s just, you kind of have a thing for him, right?”

“No,” Clark said. It was half a lie. Actually, it was more like ninety per cent a lie. There would probably always be a little bit of an attraction to Grizz; a curiosity, even. It was different now though. It was wearing off and honestly, that wasn’t where Clark’s head was at. _Clark_ wasn’t even sure where his own head was at, but he knew it had been a while since he thought of Grizz like that.

“You don’t mind being around him and Sam?” Jason asked.

“Not really anymore,” Clark mumbled.

Jason nodded slowly, “right, so…did you like him more than Justin? Was it _that_ kind of like?”

“I dunno. It’s different, him and Justin. Same way how I felt about Gwen was different, and how I feel about y-…uh, other people that…I’ve liked, uh, before, was different” Clark shrugged, desperately hoping that Jason wouldn’t realize his almost slip-up.

Clark busied himself, trying to act normal. He didn’t mean to tell Jason earlier that week that he had fallen for him, and he had latched onto what Jason said about him only saying that because he was upset. The truth was, he wasn’t sure how he felt towards Jason. All he knew was that he didn’t _want_ to like Jason like that, because Jason didn’t date men, and Clark couldn’t get his heart broken again.

Jason didn’t say anything and the two continued on the yard work. They finished trimming the hedges and while Jason cleaned up the mess they made, Clark got to work on scooping up the leaves from the pool.

After a little while, Clark checked his phone again, and it wasn’t so much checking the time, but it was more a habit because he had gotten so used to constantly texting Justin and would always have a message waiting for him. His inbox was bare though. He frowned, chewing on his bottom lip as he contemplated sending Justin a text, but the guy was like a stranger now. Sometimes it felt as though Clark had never known him in the first place.

Before Clark could make up his mind, his phone was being taken from his hand and tossed to the grass nearby. He looked up at Jason.

“What are you-“ Clark couldn’t get out anymore words, because one second he was standing there about to get mad that Jason could have broken his phone, and the next, Jason’s arms were around his waist as he tackled the two of them right into the pool.

The water was a perfect temperature and took away the heat from Clark’s body. It was refreshing and felt amazing, but still, Clark pushed Jason away underwater and kicked up from the bottom, resurfacing. He flicked his hair out of his eyes and glared at the laughing Jason.

“Bro, what the fuck!?” Clark shouted at him.

“What? It’s hot, and I was sweaty. So were you. Win-win,” Jason said with a cheeky grin.

“I didn’t want to get my hair wet,” Clark splashed the boy who was still watching him with amusement in his eyes.

“Seriously? Your hair?” Jason laughed.

“What? I just washed it last night and I like when it’s all soft and shit.”

“Naww,” Jason teased as he came closer, “Clarky likes his soft, luscious locks.”

Jason ran his fingers through Clark’s hair, and Clark, having an immediate response of _do that again_, slapped his hands out of the way instead.

“You’re so annoying,” Clark turned and headed to the stairs when Jason quickly jumped on his back, wrapping his arms around his shoulders and neck. He pulled Clark back and, well, Clark didn’t put up much of a fight.

“Don’t get out, come on dude,” Jason said, his breath tickling Clark’s ear and sending shivers down his neck.

“Fine, but as long as you don’t dunk me,” Clark said.

“Why not?”

“I don’t like it when water gets up my nose!” Clark whined once more, making Jason chuckle into his ear.

Clark was expecting Jason to let go after he gave in, but he didn’t. He stayed there, and it was actually kind of peaceful just bobbing around the pool together. There was a fluttering in the pit of Clark’s stomach, one that made him feel a bit sick, but in a good way. He was just so glad to have his friend back. He missed hanging out with him, and judging by Jason’s hold on him, he missed having him around too.

“You’re strangling me,” Clark told him. 

“You’ll be fine,” Jason said, not letting up. Clark gave in and relaxed. He closed his eyes and let his head rest back on Jason’s shoulder.

It was kind of odd. They wouldn’t do this before, well, not really anyway. Maybe Jason would have held him like that for a few seconds and let go. Had what happened between them made them closer in the end? Or was it because they both liked guys that meant it was okay to do this? They hadn’t spoken about them, or about anything, really.

After the night Justin broke up with him, and Jason spent the night comforting him, they hadn’t spoken of it. They went back to hanging out at school and being normal, talking a lot more, but not about anything serious. Definitely not about what happened between them. It was swept under the rug, or at least that was what Clark thought. That day was the first time they had really been alone; away from the distractions of school and friends.

“What are you thinking about?” Jason broke the silence.

“The past few days,” Clark said.

“Have you heard from Justin lately?” Jason asked.

“Nope. He unfriended me on Facebook and snapchat, and I sent him a text asking if we could still be friends but he didn’t reply,” Clark said. He felt empty, not really knowing if he was still upset by it or over it, or if he felt nothing. Maybe he was blocking it out. Maybe he never liked Justin that much in the first place. He didn’t really know, and he didn’t want to know either. He would rather feel empty about it than heartbroken.

“What a dick,” Jason muttered.

“It’s whatever.”

“Are you okay?” Jason asked.

“I guess. I didn’t even know him for that long, you know. It kind of feels like it never happened. But, I don’t know, it was just nice having someone to be with,” Clark said.

“Well, we’re both single now so we can hang out more,” Jason offered. As much as Clark loved handing out with Jason and appreciated him saying that, it just wasn’t the same. 

“I hate being single though. Maybe I should go back to dating girls. I’ve had enough experimenting to last me the year,” Clark said. It was half a joke. Realizing he was into guys was a whole new world he still wanted to explore more, but maybe it would be easier finding a girl.

Jason let go of Clark. The warmth of his body was quickly replaced by cool water. Clark turned, seeing Jason had waded away across the pool.

“Maybe you should take a break,” Jason said.

“Didn’t you hear me? I hate being single,” Clark said. 

“So, who are you gonna date then?” Jason asked.

“I don’t know. I could ask out Becca again, she’s pretty cool,” Clark said, pondering the idea.

“I thought that was a major fail?” Jason asked.

“Yeah, ‘cause I was just trying to make Grizz jealous,” Clark admitted.

Jason groaned dramatically and sunk under the water. Clark swam over to him, impatiently waiting for him to stop whatever little tantrum he was having and come back up. Clark didn’t understand the reaction at all. Sure, trying to make Grizz jealous was childish and dumb, but he didn’t think it was _that_ dumb. Jason eventually came back up when he ran out of air. Water dripped down his face and hair. He ran his hand through it, pushing it from his eyes.

“The fuck was that?” Clark asked.

“Just…you,” Jason said in frustration.

“What about me?” Clark frowned.

“You don’t pick people that are right for you, bro. None of them match with you,” Jason said.

Clark wasn’t sure if he should take that as an insult or not, so he just shrugged, “opposites attract?”

“Not always.”

“Whatever. Who made you a love guru anyway? Where’s your long-term romance, huh?” Clark asked, giving Jason an accusatory glare.

“I don’t do romance,” Jason splashed him, making him flinch away.

“Oh whatever, what about the person you like? Don’t think I haven’t forgotten about that,” Clark said smugly.

“You _should_ forget,” Jason said. He floated away from Clark, but Clark just turned, following his movements.

“No way, bro. If you’re gonna judge me on bad choices, what about you? Tell me who you’re into,” Clark demanded.

“No.”

“Do you even hang out with her? When’d you see her last?” Clark prodded.

“Every day.”

“What, they go to our school?” Clark asked.

“Maybe.”

“I thought you said I don’t know them,” Clark said quickly.

Jason faltered, opening his mouth and closing it again. Clark was onto him and Jason knew it. Clark was so determined to found out who this girl was, even more so now that he might know who they actually are.

“You don’t,” Jason lied.

“Liar. You’re totally lying. I know you are,” Clark said as he swam closer to Jason. Jason just stepped back, keeping his distance, and Clark knew it was because he had pushed him into a corner. Jason was not getting out of this conversation so easily, especially when he had been so vocal about everyone Clark has ever liked. It was time for a little pay back.

“Clark…”

“Come on, dude. Just tell me,” Clark begged.

“Just stop, bro,” Jason was getting annoyed, but Clark didn’t care. He wanted to know, and he was at the point where he would start listing girls.

“Is it Erica, still?” Clark asked.

“No.”

“Carla?”

“No.”

“Lexie?”

“No.”

“Allie?”

“No.”

“Kelly?”

“No.”

“Becca?”

“No.”

“Holy shit, is it Gwen? Is _that_ why you won’t tell me?” Clark asked as he had a lightbulb moment.

“Fuck off, it’s not Gwen. I wouldn’t do that to you,” Jason snapped.

“Then tell me,” Clark whined. It was eating him alive not knowing.

“No.”

“But we always tell each other,” Clark said with a pout.

“Not this time,” Jason refused.

“Come on,” Clark swam over, and Jason dodged him again.

“You’re so annoying, dude,” Jason said with a nervous laugh.

“Tell me.”

“Just drop it,” Jason splashed Clark and disappeared underwater once more. Clark watched him as he swam by him and headed to the steps. He emerged from the water and climbed out of the pool.

“Where are you going?” Clark asked.

“Away from you.”

“Seriously, dude?” Clark swam after him. He got out too. The water clung to his shorts and shirt, weighing him down, but he didn’t let that stop him. He quickly ran after Jason who was heading around the side of the house. He found him at the clothes line, taking down a couple of towels.

“Just tell me,” Clark pleaded.

Jason threw a towel at him, hitting him in the face. Clark took it, but was less pre-occupied with drying himself and much more interested in annoying the hell out of Jason, which he knew was what he was doing, but he couldn’t help it.

“Tell me,” Clark said again.

“No.”

“Tell me.”

Jason rolled his eyes as he ran the towel over his hair, soaking up the excess water.

“Tell me.”

Jason went to walk around Clark, but Clark stepped in front of him.

“Tell me.”

“Dude, stop,” Jason snapped. He went to walk around Clark again, but thinking it was some game, Clark kept standing him front of him, stopping his path.

“Tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me,” Clark chanted, “come on, who do you like?”

“Clark…” Jason warned.

“Who?”

“Seriously…”

“Who?”

“Stop!”

“I don’t understand why you won’t just fucking tell me who you like. It’s not a big deal, you fucking baby. Just fucking tell-“

Clark got his answer. One second he was ranting and the next Jason had crashed his lips to his almost violently as he was shoved against the wall of the house. Clark stood there, shocked, as Jason barricaded him there against the wall; his hands on Clark’s cheeks, holding him there as he kissed him. Jason made a sound Clark could only describe as frustration as he pressed his body closer against Clark’s and kissed him so hard it almost hurt. A fire erupted inside Clark the moment his brain caught up. He moved his lips against Jason’s, parting them as their tongues lightly flicked against the others. Clark held Jason’s wrist, not sure whether he wanted to keep him there or make him stop. He was so fucking confused but at the same time kissing him felt _so fucking good_.

Clark didn’t know if Jason even realized what he just did or if he planned on it. It didn’t last long, just long of them to both realize what was happening, and then Jason abruptly pulled away. They looked at each other and Clark noticed Jason wasn’t as surprised as he had been at all. He just looked annoyed, if not at Clark then maybe at himself.

“I told you to stop,” Jason said as he took a step back, “I’m going inside. Go see Grizz.”

Jason walked away and Clark was left there with his heart racing faster than it ever had before. What the fuck was that? Obviously he had kissed Jason a dozen times before but this was different. They didn’t do that anymore. So many questions were running through Clark’s head. He wasn’t just going to leave after _that_.

Clark went back around to the backyard and saw it empty. He headed into the house after using the towel he still had to dry himself as best he could. Jason’s mom wouldn’t be too happy with them dripping water all through the house, after all. He went inside and ran up the stairs, going straight to Jason’s room. He opened the door without knocking and saw Jason standing there at his window.

“I told you to go,” Jason said, not looking at him.

Clark ignored him and closed the door. He went over to Jason and stood at his side, facing him.

“Bro, just level with me here. Did you do that just to shut me up, or?” Clark trailed off, letting Jason fill in the blanks, mostly because Clark wasn’t too sure what the blanks even were.

Jason stared at Clark, the wheels turning in his head as he frowned and thought about the question. Eventually his face softened and he sighed.

“Or,” he answered.

“Okay…”

“Okay?”

“Yeah, I don’t get it,” Clark said.

“Jesus,” Jason breathed out, “you’re so…”

“Dumb? I know,” Clark mumbled.

“You know I found that hot as hell so it’s not a bad thing,” Jason turned his entire body to Clark, stepping forward, “but I was going to say oblivious.”

“What’s that mean?” Clark asked, playing dumb _on purpose_.

“It means I like you and you have no fucking idea,” Jason confessed.

“But you don’t like guys like that,” Clark pointed out.

“I know.”

“So…what does _this_ mean?” Clark gestured between the two of them.

“Does it have to mean anything?” Jason asked.

“Yeah, dude, it does. I like you too…but I can’t be fucked around again,” Clark said. His voice shook as he admitted that, because while he had known for a little while that he did like Jason, he hadn’t even really let himself feel that because it was never a possibility, and as Jason told him he liked him too, it gave Clark hope, but there was so much uncertainty.

“Why can’t we just do what we used to do? It worked for us, didn’t it?” Jason asked.

“Because I need more than just _that_,” Clark said.

“I don’t know if I can be like that with you,” Jason said, “I don’t want to fuck up our friendship if I say ‘oh yeah let’s date’, and then back out.”

“Well…you need to decide what you want,” Clark said.

“What do _you_ want, Clark?” he asked.

Clark thought about it for a moment. He ignored every feeling he had towards his crushes, or exes, or Jason, and just thought about what he had wanted for a really fucking long time. He was a little embarrassed admitting it to Jason but he was tired of them constantly dancing around how they felt about each other.

“I want to love someone and be loved by them, completely. Not just a ‘oh let’s see how this goes’ or a ‘let’s just hook up because you’re hot’ bullshit. I want what Sam and Grizz have. I want what Luke and Helena have,” Clark said, “is that what you want?”

“I don’t know,” Jason shrugged.

“You need to figure it out, bro, because I can’t do whatever this is,” Clark said, “we’re either friends, or we’re dating. Pick one.”

Clark wished he could get an answer then and there because he was tired of being in limbo about it. He just needed to know whether Jason was all in or not, because Clark was ready. He would jump right in if Jason just said he was one hundred per cent, but Clark could see the doubt in his eyes. If there was doubt, then Jason didn’t love him. It was as simple as that to Clark.

“I gotta go,” Clark said.

“Please don’t be mad,” Jason begged.

“I’m not. I’m just…” Clark trailed off, because what was he supposed to say? He wasn’t mad, but he was upset that he had never had someone be all in on him, and it was a shit feeling. He didn’t want to tell Jason that though. He didn’t want him feeling bad, or sorry that he didn’t like him in that way. He didn’t want to manipulate him into being with him.

“I’m cool, okay. I’m good with being friends only. It’s probably a dumb idea anyway,” Clark said.

Jason shook his head, “it’s not. Just…come by later tonight.”

Clark thought about it before shaking his head, “no.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’ll probably sleep with you,” Clark said honestly. There was no doubting the attraction they had towards each other. At least that they could agree on, and knowing Jason was into him, in one way or another, kind of made Clark want to jump him then and there, but that wouldn’t solve anything.

“Text me, at least?” Jason asked.

Clark nodded, giving him that much, because he definitely didn’t want to throw their friendship away over this.

“I’ll text you later,” Clark agreed.

He didn’t say anything else. He left Jason’s house and headed home to get changed before going to see Grizz.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was supposed to be a lot longer and have Jason's POV with him finding out what happened with Clark in the rest of chapter 47 of Vulnerable but I ran out of time writing and can't write again until probably mid-week but I still really wanted to update, so this is something, at least!!! But we'll get there eventually...
> 
> You'll also notice I got rid of how many chapters are left because idk wtf I'm doing!!
> 
> Thanks for reading!!


	10. Hospital bed made for one

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 9 recap: Jason and Clark got back to hanging out and being friends but also Jason is super jealous about Clark's (practically non-existent at this point) crush on Grizz, and then Clark was being super annoying asking Jason who he liked (not realizing Jason was talking about him all along) and Jason got annoyed and kissed Clark to shut him up (classic fanfic trope) They admitted that they liked each other but Jason doesn't know if he wants to be with a guy like that and Clark doesn't wanna be hurt and it's a MESS and who needs proper communication anyway?
> 
> This chapter is set during chapters 47/48 (mostly 48) of Vulnerable. 
> 
> Warnings- well, it's the chapter a certain someone died and Clark got hurt and there's a lot of Jason panicking thinking Clark could be dead so... could get upsetting maybe???

The last thing Jason ever wanted to do was hurt Clark, and in his efforts to _not_ hurt him, he had done just that. He saw it in Clark’s eyes when he couldn’t make a decision, but it was really fucking hard and not something he had ever done before. He had never been into a guy before, let alone his best friend. He couldn’t figure out if he had a childish crush, or if it was just pure attraction, or more.

He knew the only way to really figure it out for certain would be to date Clark and see if it worked, but the thing was, Clark was fragile. Jason didn’t want to say yes, date him, and realize he didn’t have those feelings towards him and break up with him. He could lose him forever if they were in a relationship and it went pear shaped. He didn’t want to break Clark’s heart.

“Fuck my life,” Jason muttered to himself as he stared out of his bedroom window. He watched on as Clark walked across the front yard and got into his car.

Jason turned away from the window, unable to look at what he just let walk away from him. He got changed out of his wet clothes and flung himself onto his bed with a heavy sigh. He stared at the ceiling, contemplating life. Why was it so fucking hard? Jason liked people all the time. He had never been in love, but he knew he liked them, and it was so easy to just date them and eventually dump them. Clark was so different though. Jason actually cared about him.

He wondered why he just let him go like that. They should have kept talking, even though Jason wasn’t sure where his head was at. All he knew for certain was that Clark was on his way to hang out with Grizz, and he was insanely jealous about it. Logically he knew nothing was going on between the two. Grizz had Sam and he wasn’t a cheater, so nothing would happen, but at the same time Jason really didn’t want Clark to start liking Grizz again.

“Stupid fucking Grizz,” Jason mumbled. He rolled over onto his side and punched his pillow.

What was so great about Grizz anyway? Jason loved all of his friends, but Grizz could be a bit of an asshole to Clark sometimes. He always had this pretentious sort of aura around him like he thought he was better than them, and he didn’t really hide that either. Jason often noticed him talking down to Clark like he was stupid, and he knew how much Clark hated that. He didn’t think Grizz did it on purpose, it was jut who he was. Jason was often convinced that Grizz didn’t even want to be their friend in the first place; that he would just forget about them all once college came around and they’d never see him again. How could Clark be into someone like him? Jason didn’t understand.

Jason fell asleep pretty quickly, not really intending to take a nap, but also wanting to avoid his feelings in that moment. He definitely didn’t mean to fall asleep for so long either, but when he woke, he checked his phone, searching for the time, but instead saw three missed calls from Erica. Frowning, he called her back, holding the phone to his ear.

“Jason!” the girl picked up also immediately, “finally!”

“Mm,” Jason grunted.

“Listen, there’s something going down at the Eliot’s,” she said quickly.

“Okay?” Jason should care, why?

“They brought Grizz and Elle out in handcuffs,” she said with an air of excitement, but she sounded nervous. Anxious, even.

Jason sat up, his head spinning with the quick movement. Grizz? In handcuffs? Jason was pretty pissed at Grizz’s entire existence but he was still his friend. Of course he was worried. Not only that, but Grizz had been with Clark, hadn’t he?

“Wait, what?” Jason asked.

“There were like sirens and stuff, right? So, I look out the window and there’s these police cars and ambulances all turning up to the Eliot’s house, right? And we’re all just watching and these officers bring Grizz and Elle out in cuffs, and like, covered in blood,” she explained.

“What the fuck? Was he okay? What the fuck happened?” Jason asked quickly. He was already off his bed and pulling on his clothes.

“I don’t know. Me and my parents went over but they have everything blocked off and we asked what happened and they said it was a _homicide_ scene. Jason, someone _died_,_” _she said.

What the fuck was going on? Shit like that didn’t happen in their small town. Erica said Grizz and Elle were okay, but what about Sam? It was his house and he had become a part of their friend group lately, so of course Jason cared about him.

“Who died?” Jason asked.

“We don’t know. They sent us away. But Jase, Clark’s car was there,” she said.

Jason froze in his place as the oxygen disappeared from his lungs and every inch of him felt cold. His mind was echoing with white noise that was getting louder and louder and he thought he would fall over and die then and there.

“Jason?” Erica asked.

“W-what?” Jason choked out, “uhm, what do you mean Clark’s car is there? Where is he?”

“I don’t know. The ambulances took people away but they had everything so blocked off I couldn’t see,” she said.

“Is his car still there?” Jason asked quickly.

“Yeah.”

“You didn’t see him at all?”

“No.”

“I gotta go,” Jason said and hung up.

His hands shook and he felt sick. Panic coursed through his veins and all he could think about was _what if Clark was dead_? Desperate to just know that Clark was okay, Jason hastily found him in his contacts on his phone and pressed dial. He held the phone to his ear as it rang, and rang, and rang, and then it went to voicemail.

“Fuck.”

He tried again. Nothing. He tried Sam. Nothing. He went to try Grizz and stopped. He was taken away in handcuffs. He would’nt have his phone. He tried Clark again and when he didn’t answer the phone that third time, Jason was officially on the edge of losing it. By the time Jason dialled Luke’s number, he was almost in tears.

“Hey bro,” Luke answered.

“Luke, something’s happened,” Jason said.

“What? What’s wrong?” Luke asked, his calm tone gone, replaced with worry.

“Erica called me. Something happened at the Eliot’s. She said she saw Grizz and Elle being taken from the house in cuffs. She said the police said it was a homicide scene and Clark’s car is there,” he blurted out.

A quick pause and Luke responded, “what the fuck? What the hell is going on.”

“I don’t know. She said there were ambulances. What if it was Clark, Luke? It’s a homicide scene. Luke!” Jason pleaded, and he wasn’t sure what Luke would do to fix this but he didn’t know who else to call.

“Calm down,” Luke sad.

“Don’t tell me to calm down!” Jason shouted, “someone died! Or people are hurt. And Clark won’t answer his phone.”

“Just let me call my dad. He’s at the hospital today. He’ll tell me if anyone was brought in. Give me a minute,” Luke said.

“Okay, okay,” Jason nodded.

The line went dead, leaving Jason in his silent room, pacing back and forth. He was freaking the fuck out, worse than he had been when Clark was in the car crash. It was too much. He had done enough worrying for Clark’s life to last him a lifetime. He couldn’t just wait in his room for Luke to call him back, so he grabbed his car keys and ran downstairs and out the house.

He jumped in his car and was off, not sure of where he was going at first, but soon found himself heading towards the hospital, because if he was there, then Jason wanted to be there too. Half way there, his phone rang again. He answered it, not caring that he was driving at the same time.

“Hey.”

“Hey, so, Clark and Sam are at the hospital,” Luke said.

“Are they okay?” Jason shot back.

“My dad’s not sure. He’s not on either of their cases. He just checked the inpatients log and they were brought in not too long ago, but there are police there so he can’t get close,” Luke said.

“I’m on my way already,” Jason said.

“I’m coming too. I’ll see you there,” Luke said, and then he hung up.

Jason felt like puking. He felt worse than that one time three years ago he was in hospital for pneumonia. He was dizzy, his heart racing. Tears dropped down his cheeks, not that he wanted to cry but he was just so confused and worried. He was terrified and not knowing if he was even fucking alive, or how hurt he was, was killing him.

This was _Clark. _Jason’s Clark. The idea of him being hurt, hurt. In fact, it fucking killed Jason. And yeah, something had happened to his other friends, but all he was thinking about was Clark and how the mere idea of him being _dead_ had Jason’s heart being torn to shreds.

Jason got to the hospital in record time, parking in the disability parking like a jerk, but he didn’t have time to find a park. He ran from the car and right into the emergency department. He glanced around, searching for any signs of Clark, but after finding none, he went to the front desk where a middle-aged woman with red, curly hair sat.

“I need to talk to Dr. Holbrook,” Jason said.

The lady looked up, just noticing him there, “Dr. Holbrook is with a patient right now.”

“Well go get him,” Jason demanded.

“I’m sorry, I can’t do that. You’ll have to wait,” she sounded like a robot and it only made Jason all the more frantic, because didn’t she fucking see how freaked out he was?

“I don’t want to wait. I can’t wait,” Jason said, his voice shaking.

“Is this an emergency?” she asked.

“Yes.”

“What’s the problem?”

Jason paused for a moment, trying to recollect himself and actually talk like a human being, “Clark Beecher was brought in here, and I need to see him or at least know that he’s okay.”

“Oh,” she said, her face softening, “I’m sorry, but immediate family only.”

“I am family,” Jason argued, “I’m his brother.”

The lady scanned Jason up and down, looking at his darker complexion and raised her eyebrows. Jason rolled his eyes, “I’m his boyfriend, okay? Just let me see him, please.”

“I’m sorry, I can’t do that,” she said.

“Can you just tell me what happened? Is he okay?” Jason was begging, pleading, ready to get down on his knees and grovel if need be.

“I can’t release that information,” she said.

“Just fucking tell me he’s _alive, _please!” Jason slapped his hand down on the desk, making the lady jump in surprise. Jason was about to climb over the desk and see if there was any information on that fucking computer she kept typing on when someone appeared next to him, placing their hand on his shoulder.

“Sorry, Patty,” Luke spoke, “he’s a little upset.”

“You know him, Luke?” the woman, Patty, asked.

“He’s a friend, I’m sorry,” Luke said, and then he was pulling Jason away from her.

“What are you doing?” Jason struggled, but Luke just tightened his grip, taking him away.

“Just come over here,” Luke said in a hushed voice.

“That bitch isn’t fucking telling me anything,” Jason accused.

“Yelling at her isn’t gonna help. Sit down,” Luke said as he pushed him down into a chair. Jason went to get up, only to be pushed down again. “Wait here.”

Jason did as he was told, but only because Luke went back over to the woman. Jason watched on desperately as Luke spoke to Patty. It seemed as if they knew each other and she looked a lot more comfortable talking to Luke than she did with him. After a minute, Luke came back over, sitting next to Jason.

“So?” Jason asked.

“So, she doesn’t know exactly what happened. She knows he was brought in with a head injury. He has a concussion, but he’s awake and talking to police. His parents are with him. He’s okay,” Luke said.

Jason let out the breath he was holding in as his entire body relaxed, and with that wave of relief came a flood of emotion as he doubled over, rubbing his hands over his face.

“Fuck,” Jason hiccupped, followed by a sniffled as he tried to swallow how he was feeling. Luke placed his hand on his shoulder, giving it a comforting squeeze. Jason wiped his eyes before he sat back, hoping Luke didn’t realize just how emotional he had gotten.

“It’s okay, he’s fine,” Luke said.

“When will they let me see him?” Jason asked. Even though he knew he was okay, he needed to see him to really believe it.

“She said maybe when the police leave, but it’s up to them. If he’s done something wrong then you might not be able to,” Luke said.

“He didn’t do anything wrong. Someone hurt _him,_” he argued, and whoever it was that did this to Clark, Jason wanted to kill them. He was so mad. Clark was like an innocent puppy dog. How could anyone hurt him? Then again, Jason wouldn’t be surprised if Clark got into a fight on his own. He was a bit prone to doing that, but it never left him in hospital. 

“We just have to wait it out,” Luke said with a sigh.

Jason nodded, knowing there was nothing else he could do. So, they sat there, waiting. Jason felt his heart slowing down a little bit as the adrenaline wore off. He had a killer headache though. The thought of losing Clark was still there in the back of his mind. He didn’t know what he would have done if that was the case. But, it wasn’t. He was okay, and Jason had to tell himself that over and over.

“What the fuck do you think happened? Do you think they killed someone? Like, Elle and Grizz?” Jason asked.

Luke shook his head, “I don’t know.”

“What the fuck did Grizz drag him into?” Jason muttered.

“Who says it’s Grizz’s fault?” Luke asked.

“Drama follows that kid around. I swear it’s his fucking fault this happened,” Jason spat.

“Jesus, Jason. Where’d this anger towards Grizz come from?” Luke asked.

Jason didn’t say anything. How was he supposed to tell Luke he was pissed at Grizz because he was jealous of him? Jason knew that was where it was coming from, but he couldn’t help himself. And he was fucking mad at Grizz, really mad, because Clark was hurt and as far as he knew, Grizz could have been the reason why.

The two of them sat there in the waiting room for a really long time, not talking and watching people walk on by. After a while, they saw a group of police officers walk by, leaving the department. Luke and Jason looked to each other, and before Jason could go up and ask what was going on, Luke motioned for him to stay still and went over to Patty instead. Jason had half the mind to go interrogate the officers, but instead, he stayed put until Luke came back.

“She said we can’t go in yet. He’s getting scans and stuff, and they’re still saying family only,” Luke said as he sat down once more.

“This is so fucked,” Jason said as he slammed his fist down on the arm of the chair. 

“Just be patient. They’ll let you in eventually,” Luke said.

Jason grumbled, but stayed put. The last thing he wanted was to get kicked out of the hospital all together for causing a scene. He focused on the clock, staring at it as the second hand ticked by loudly. Eventually Clark’s hopes sky-rocketed as he saw Clark’s parents, Rick and Liz, coming down the corridor. At the sight of them Jason scrambled up from the chair and dashed over, ambushing them.

“Is he okay!?” Jason asked without a greeting.

“Jason,” Liz said a little shocked, “Luke, hi. We didn’t know you were here.”

“Is he okay?” Jason asked again, stepping forward.

“He’s worried,” Luke said, once again pulling Jason back into line.

“It’s okay, so were we. He’s okay though. He’s just fallen asleep,” Liz said.

“Is he allowed to sleep?” Jason asked quickly, “he has a concussion, right? That’s what they said? What if he doesn’t wake up?”

“I’m gonna need you to calm down, son,” Rick said, placing his hand on Jason’s shoulder, “he’s allowed to sleep. He is _fine_.”

The words went right over the top of his head. He needed to see him. Before Jason could even ask, Patty came over to the group of them.

“Mr. and Mrs. Beecher, are you okay for Clark’s boyfriend to see him?” Patty asked.

Liz and Rick looked to Jason, eyeing him sceptically. Jason shrugged, “I had to say what I had to say.”

“Sure,” Liz said with narrowed eyes.

“He can see him,” Rick nodded.

“Where is he?” Jason asked.

“Room two forty,” Patty said.

“Thank you.” Jason said to her and nodded at Clark’s parents, but he couldn’t stay there a second longer. He ran off down the hall, falling into a brisk step as Luke caught up to him.

“See, he’s fine,” Luke said.

“I’ll believe it when I see it,” Jason shot back.

The two headed down a few hallways. Jason glanced into every room he walked by, and he managed to catch a glimpse of Sam with his parents in one, but he kept going because in that moment he didn’t give a fuck about Sam. He needed to see Clark. Three doors further and they had made it. There Clark was, laying fast asleep on a hospital bed with a bandage wrapped around his head.

Jason headed in, walking up to him slowly as to not wake him. He was there, right there, breathing away. Alive. All was well and Jason finally let himself relax that final bit.

“I’m gonna head out and try and find Grizz,” Luke whispered.

Jason just nodded, not looking back at him, but hearing his footsteps walking away. He stood right by Clark’s bed, looking down at him, trying to see if he had any other injuries, but it looked like he didn’t. Selfishly, he wanted to wake him up, just to talk to him, or see his smile, or the light in his eyes, just to reassure him that he was fine, because for a while there, Jason had been really fucking terrified that he’d never be able to speak to him again.

He refrained from waking sleeping beauty and pulled the arm chair over from the corner of the room and sat down beside Clark’s bed, watching him sleep and enjoying the sound of his heavy breathing. Now that he knew Clark was okay, he began trying to connect the dots. Clark had been hanging out with Grizz, then ended up with him at Sam’s house, and now he was hurt and Grizz and Elle has been arrested.

Jason knew something had been going on with Grizz. He had been acting strange lately, on edge, and he had always had some kind of feud with Campbell. Could something have happened? Someone died, and it wasn’t Grizz, Elle, Sam or Clark. That left either Sam’s parents, or Campbell himself, and Jason wouldn’t be shocked if some sort of fight broke out and it was Campbell that died.

“This would be easier to figure out if you woke up,” Jason murmured.

Jason was sitting there for a long time, silently willing Clark to wake, but Clark usually only woke if someone touched him, so unless Jason got up and accidentally tripped onto the bed then there was no waking him until he just did it himself. After a little while, they were not so alone.

“Hey,” someone whispered. Jason sat up a little straighter as he saw Luke and Grizz come into the room. At the mere sight of Grizz, Jason tensed. Usually it was because he was jealous, because he couldn’t see what Clark saw in him. That day though, he just hated him because he knew Grizz was the reason Clark was in that hospital bed.

“Is he okay?” Grizz asked.

“Does he fucking look okay?” Jason snapped, because what a stupid fucking question that was.

“Jason, come on,” Luke said, but Jason ignored him.

“What happened?” Jason asked coldly, glaring at Grizz with all the animosity he could muster up.

Grizz went into the explanation and Jason sat there quietly, listening in. According to Grizz, Campbell had been hurting his girlfriend, Elle, for a while and Grizz knew about it. From what Jason gathered, Grizz and Campbell hated each other and had an ongoing battle which resulted in Grizz and Clark at the Eliot’s house after Campbell broke his brother’s hands. Not only that, but they found out Campbell was responsible for the car accident. A fight broke out which ended in Elle killing Campbell to save Grizz.

As Jason took in the long-winded, slightly insane, story, he could only think of two things. Clark almost died in a car accident _because of Grizz_ and Clark got into a fight that could have killed him _because of Grizz_. Jason was pissed because it wasn’t Clark’s battle to fight, and yet in true Clark fashion, he put his body on the line for his friends, but in that moment Jason didn’t see it as that. He saw it as so much more.

“He would literally die for you,” Jason said bitterly.

“I didn’t mean for him to get hurt,” Grizz defended.

“You dragged him into _your_ mess. You know he has a thing for you. You know he would do anything to back you up. Why would you take him somewhere you knew could be dangerous?” Jason asked. He was fuming. Why couldn’t Clark just stay away from him?

“I told him not to come,” Grizz said.

Jason rolled his eyes, “he loves you, Grizz. As if he was gonna leave you.”

“He’s in love with you, not me,” Grizz argued.

“No, he’s always followed you around like a puppy dog, and look where it got him,” Jason shot back. He gestured to the hospital bed where Clark lay.

“It’s not my fault,” Grizz said.

“Just fucking go, Grizz,” Jason spat. He didn’t want him anywhere near him anymore.

“Jason-“ Luke started

“Just go,” Jason whisper-yelled, not wanting to wake him.

Jason glared at him, willing him to leave. In the back of Jason’s mind, he wondered if he was being a bad friend. Grizz was going through something too. He had seen someone die. He was involved in a trauma. Jason should have been treating his friends equally, being just as protective over the both of him. But he wasn’t. Because Clark wasn’t just his friend. Jason was pretty sure Clark was his soulmate and it took something like this to happen for him to realize it.

“Before we went to Sam’s, we were talking about you and him,” Grizz said.

“That’s great,” Jason muttered.

“He’s into _you_, Jason. He’s confused. He thinks you just want to hook up and you’ll end up hurting him like Justin and Gwen did,” Grizz explained.

Jason looked up at him, wondering if he was telling the truth. He felt his anger slipping and he just felt kind of bad. He knew Clark liked him and he knew Clark was concerned about having a relationship but he didn’t realize Clark thought he was just like Justin and Gwen.

“He said that?” Jason asked.

“More or less. Listen, you can hate me all you want, you can be jealous that he may or may not be into me all you want, but I know for a fact that he’s into you and I’m pretty sure you’re into him and if you don’t get your shit together and act on it then it’s your own fault if he goes and finds someone else,” Grizz said.

Jason looked back to Clark. He didn’t want Clark to find someone else. _He_ wanted Clark, but it was so fucking scary having feelings for him. Clark was a guy, and Jason had never dated guys like that before. He never even had feelings for a guy before and he didn’t know if they were real. They sure as hell felt real, but what if they were just a phase or a confusion? What if Clark didn’t really like him? What if Clark was just into him because he was all that was left? Because Gwen didn’t want him, Grizz didn’t want him, and Justin didn’t want him. Jason saw the way Clark looked at Grizz and it killed him. He didn’t want to be a consolation prize because the golden boy was taken. What would happen if Grizz and Sam broke up and Grizz showed interest in Clark? Then what?

“I can’t do it,” Jason said quietly.

“Why not?” Grizz asked.

“I can’t be with him knowing you’re always his first choice,” Jason said. It was one of many reasons.

“I’m not his first choice. He had a stupid school boy crush on me. But you? He’s in love with you. I can see it, and if you can’t then you’re blind. Luke, can you see it?” Grizz turned to Luke, waiting for an answer, and hell, Jason was waiting for an answer too.

“Yeah, I can see it,” Luke said.

Jason chewed on the inside of his cheek as he watched Clark. Could his friends be right? Was this more than a crush? More than an attraction? The idea of Clark being in love with him terrified him. The prospect of hurting Clark thinking that Clark merely _liked_ him was bad enough. If Clark’s feelings were that strong, how could Jason handle that? All he knew was that he wanted Grizz to leave.

“Sam’s three doors down to the left,” he said, “his parents have been in there the whole time, but I saw them walk down the hall like ten minutes ago.”

It was true, about Sam’s parents. Jason almost left the room to go talk to Sam himself, but he didn’t want to risk Clark waking up and him not being there. Grizz left the room, dashing out without a single word, and leaving Luke there.

“You know Grizz didn’t want this to happen, right?” Luke asked as he took a few steps closer.

“I know,” Jason sighed, “I’m just worried.”

“He’s okay,” Luke assured.

“I know.”

“Has he woken up yet?” Luke asked.

“No. I kind of wanna wake him just to talk to him,” Jason admitted.

Luke laughed, “you know how mad he gets when people wake him.”

“I wouldn’t mind,” Jason murmured. Clark could yell at him all he wanted, as long as he was talking to him.

Luke didn’t say anything to that comment, and when Jason looked up, his friend was staring right back at him.

“What?” Jason asked.

Luke shrugged, “I just don’t get why you aren’t dating yet.”

It was Jason’s turn to laugh, although it was more like a scoff as he shook his head at the idea. He huffed, rubbing his hands over his face. He was just so exhausted and even thinking about dating Clark was giving him a headache.

“It’s so hard,” Jason admitted.

“Why?”

“I’ve seen him cry over Gwen, and over Justin, and people before that. I don’t want him to cry over me,” Jason said.

“Okay…” Luke pondered, “yeah there’s a possibility that it won’t work and he’ll be upset, but isn’t it worth the risk?”

“What am I supposed to do? Just be like, ‘hey let’s go on a date?’ I don’t do romance in general, let alone with another guy who just so happens to be my best friend. I’d fuck it up,” Jason said.

“Just keep being Jason and Clark. Figure it out. It doesn’t have to be easy or perfect,” Luke said.

“Right…and if I fuck it up I could lose him forever,” Jason said.

“Or you could _not_ fuck it up and you could have him forever,” Luke said.

Jason didn’t know what to think or feel. He just knew he wanted Clark but he was so fucking scared. Their conversation ended there, thankfully. Jason didn’t have any other excuse to offer up as to why he wasn’t going to date Clark. Grizz had come back, poking his head around the corner and saying he was leaving before doing just that, going before any of them could say a whole lot.

“I’m gonna go check on him. You gonna be okay?” Luke asked.

“Yeah, I’m gonna stay the night,” Jason nodded.

“Text me if you need me,” Luke said.

“I will, thanks.”

With that, Luke left, and once again Jason was alone with Clark. Jason stood, taking a step closer to Clark, not liking the distance between them. He sat on the edge of the bed, careful not to make the thing move to much. Although, maybe he _was_ being a little careless on purpose because he really wanted Clark to wake up.

Jason took Clark’s hand in his, lacing their fingers together, feeling the weight, comparing their sizes. He just liked holding Clark’s hand, even if he wasn’t really used to holding the hand of another man. Jason wasn’t usually all that into affection in the first place when it came to relationships, not that he and Clark were in a relationship.

As he sat there holding Clark’s hand, he realized that he kind of wanted to hold his hand forever. And then he realized just how fucking bad he wanted him. He wondered how they got to that point, going from typical jock friends that were all fist bumps and completely platonic, to being, well, whatever it was that they were to each other in that moment.

“Hey.”

The voice made Jason jump, his heart rate spiking. He almost tore his hand away from Clark until he realized he was the one that was talking. Jason looked to him, seeing his eyes partly open, looking back at him.

“Hi,” Jason said back, “how are you feeling? Do you need me to get a doctor?”

Clark blinked a few times as his eyes adjusted to the light. He looked at Jason with a mild curiosity as he tilted his head to the side.

“Who are you?” Clark asked.

Jason’s stomach dropped as his heart leapt into his throat at the three words. “What? Clark, it’s me, Jason.”

“Who?”

Fuck, what the fuck? He didn’t remember him? Had the concussion been that bad?

“I’m going to get a doctor,” Jason said as panic filled him. He slid off the bed, landing his feet on the floor, and he went to leave, but Clark’s fingers tightened around his own as he pulled him back. Jason looked down at the small smile on the other’s lips.

“I’m fucking with you,” Clark said.

Jason paused, registering what just happened, and _of course_ Clark would pull a prank after Jason spent the past few hours scared out of his fucking mind for his well-being.

“I actually hate you,” Jason said.

“Mm don’t,” Clark hummed, his voice croaky. He tugged at Jason’s hand, and Jason took the prompt, sitting back on the edge of the bed.

“For real, are you okay?” Jason asked.

“My head hurts,” Clark said.

“Well no shit. That’s what happens when you get yourself into a fight,” Jason said, beginning his lecture way sooner than he thought he would.

“Do you know what happened?” Clark asked.

“Yeah.”

“Is Grizz okay? Have you spoken to him?” Clark asked.

“They let him go. Elle confessed,” Jason said plainly.

“Really?”

“Mhm”

“Fuck…”

The two were quiet for a moment. Clark stared at the ceiling, taking in what Jason said, and Jason watched him, still being so appreciative of the fact that he was okay.

“I thought you died,” Jason told him.

Clark looked at him with a frown, “what?”

“Erica called me. Said she saw your car at the Eliot’s, but not you, and the police said someone died,” Jason explained. Remembering how he felt in that moment was so surreal. He never wanted to have to feel like that again.

“And you thought it was me?” Clark asked.

“Yeah…and I was just…wondering what the fuck I was gonna do without my partner in crime,” Jason said with a small smile, trying to lighten the mood.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you,” Clark said.

“I know, just don’t go ending up in hospital again,” Jason demanded.

“Can’t make any promises,” Clark joked.

“Fucking promise me,” Jason said, all too seriously.

Clark wiped the smile off his face quick-smart as he nodded, “okay.”

Jason looked down at their hands still locked together. He brushed his thumb over Clark’s, feeling how soft his skin was, and reminding himself once again that Clark was okay.

“You should get more rest,” Jason murmured.

“Are you staying?”

“I’ll be right there, all night,” Jason nods to the arm chair.

“Plenty of room up here,” Clark said.

Jason eyed the bed, shaking his head, “there’s really not.”

“Sure there is,” Clark said before he pulled the sheets back and shifted on his side. He tugged at Jason’s hand, pulling him closer, and all Jason could do was laugh at his persistence as he fell into the thin space next to Clark. He settled with his back to Clark’s chest. It wasn’t often he was little spoon to another guy, because well, it wasn’t often he fell asleep with one other than Clark, but he found he didn’t really mind it, and after the day he had, he openly welcomed the comfort that came from Clark’s arm around his middle.

“That’s a pretty hot hospital gown you got going on,” Jason said.

“Mhm, it’s fashionable, huh?” Clark said.

“Very sexy,” Jason laughed.

“That’s all I’ve got going for me,” Clark murmured.

“I disagree.”

Clark buried his faced in the nape of Jason’s neck, sending shivers down his spine. Jason was amazed that even after the conversation they had that day, and how they left things, they could so easily do this, like the conversation they had didn’t really matter in that moment, and what mattered was that Clark was okay. Sure, things may be different in the morning but Jason tried to forget his worries and just be there with Clark.

“Are you okay?” Jason asked him.

“Headache,” Clark answered plainly.

“No, I mean…not physically,” Jason said.

Clark went quiet which prompted Jason to roll over onto his other side and face Clark. Their faces were mere inches from each other, their noses almost touching. Jason looked into Clark’s eyes, trying to get an answer himself. All he saw was sadness.

“What’s up?” Jason asked.

Clark sighed and looked away, pass Jason before he answered, “Doctor says I have brain damage.”

“How bad?” Jason asked.

“Not really bad, but he said I could have side effects forever,” Clark said.

Jason frowned, wondering what that could possibly mean because Clark was there, awake, holding a conversation with him, and remembered him. He seemed fine.

“Like what?”

“Mmm, lots of things, really. Like…forgetting shit. Not being able to think properly. Not knowing certain words or how to speak. Like I can just be having a conversation and forget an easy as fuck word for no reason. He said my mood can change, like in a bad way. I could get like seizures and shit and, uhm…I don’t know, there’s a lot,” Clark told him. He glanced at Jason before looking away again, almost like he was ashamed, which Jason didn’t get at all.

“Even if any of that does happen, it’ll be okay. We just deal with it as it comes, _if_ it comes,” Jason tried to assure him.

Clark looked at him as he slowly shook his head, “I tried to send you a text earlier.”

“Okay?”

“Couldn’t remember my passcode,” Clark said.

“Dude, you just got your head knocked in, give yourself a bit of time to heal,” Jason said.

“I’ve had that phone for three years, same passcode, and I _still_ can’t remember, even now,” Clark said, his voice shaking. Jason brought his hand up to Clark’s face, gently caressing his cheek and making him look at him.

“Give yourself a break. Your head hurts, and you’re tired, and you’ve been through a lot,” Jason said.

“This is so fucked. What if I just get dumber? Who the fuck is gonna want me then?” Clark asked.

_Me_.

“Stop it.”

Clark sighed, closing his eyes, “I don’t wanna talk about it anyway. Can we just sleep?”

“Sure.”

“Can I be little spoon?” Clark asked, peeking out at Jason through one eye.

Jason smiled, and tried his best not to think about how adorable Clark could be sometimes, before he nodded. Clark smiled back, albeit a little sadly. Jason really wanted to kiss him, but he knew it wasn’t the right time. Clark had already turned over anyway, and Jason squished closer on the small hospital bed made for one. He wrapped his arm around Clark’s waist, and Clark didn’t bother moving his hand as Jason’s slipped underneath it.

Jason closed his eyes, not caring that there would probably be nurses in and out of there all night. He never really cared about what other’s thought in the first place. There wasn’t anywhere else he would rather be, and he was well aware he and Clark were teetering on the edge of friendship and what could lie beyond that, but maybe Jason liked being on the edge, right where he didn’t have to make any final decisions. He kind of wished he could stay there forever.

He absent-mindedly kissed the back of Clark’s head, right over the bandage. He realized this could confused Clark more, maybe even both of them more, but that was another problem for another day. That day, he just wanted Clark to feel better.

“Hey, Clark?” Jason said after a few minutes of silence. He wasn’t sure if Clark had fallen back asleep yet.

“Mm?”

“What’s your birthday?” Jason asked.

“Uh…December thirteen?” Clark said before he gasped, “oh shit, that’s my passcode.”

“Thought so.”

“One two one three,” Clark said proudly.

“Sure is,” Jason said as he smiled wide at the change in Clark’s tone.

“How’d you know that?” Clark asked.

“I didn’t. Just a guess,” Jason said.

“Right, you guessed I’d be dumb enough to use my birthday as the passcode,” Clark scoffed.

“Shut the fuck up before I make you,” Jason snapped.

Clark took what he said literally and stopped talking, which was probably a good thing because if Clark were to talk down on himself one more time Jason might just lose his mind.

The two of them stayed in that position all night. Clark fell asleep first, and Jason stayed up for a few hours, contemplating whether he should take the leap and ask Clark on a real first date.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah I'm extending this story. I don't know how many chapters it'll be but I feel like there's a lot of their possible relationship that could be fleshed out and it'd be a shame to end the story before these two even really get started. I'm not really sure exactly what I'm doing though so thanks for coming alone for the ride. 
> 
> Going back to write and complete Vulnerable before I update the next part of this. Two stories at once is hard. 
> 
> THANKS FOR READING!


	11. Aggressive hand holding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally!!!! Thanks so much for your patience!! It only took this long because of writing Vulnerable and I knew December would be a disaster because of holidays and stuff, but I'm back and ready to get this story back on track even though I have no idea where it's going or how it'll end!! Thanks for sticking with it if you're still here!!
> 
> Chapter 10 recap!: We had Jason's POV. After they had their little argument about how Jason likes Clark but is too scared to do anything about it because he doesn't want to hurt him, Jason moped around until he got a call from Erica that there was an incident at the Eliot's residence (ya know, from Vulnerable, Campbell dying, etc etc) and after finding out someone died and Clark's car was there, Jason freaked the heck out thinking it could be Clark. He panicked a lot but ended up at the hospital and Clark is fine. He sat by his bed while he slept like a good lovesick puppy dog. He had words with Grizz because he thinks it's Grizz's fault and that Clark is still into Grizz. But Grizz and Luke tried their best to convince Jason that he and Clark are meant to be together. Jason still doesn't want to hurt him BUT the entire ordeal woke him up a bit and he realized he doesn't want to lose Clark. Clark woke up and he's worried he might have brain damage, but he's fine, really. He just doesn't want to get "dumber". They snuggled in the hospital bed. It was nice.

The day after the incident at the Eliot’s house, Clark found himself being released from hospital and taken home by his best friend. His parents were at work and Jason had insisted on being the one to take care of Clark that day, even though Clark was fine, except for the throbbing in his head. The two entered the Beecher’s living room and plopped down on the couch, side by side.

Clark sighed in relief, relaxing against the cushions. “Even this couch is more comfortable than that fucking hospital bed.

“I don’t know, it wasn’t that bad,” Jason said.

“Yeah, that’s because you were practically on top of _me_ the entire time,” Clark accused.

Jason grinned, looking away from him. Despite being in hospital, it had been a good night. On cue, he yawned. Alright, perhaps it hadn’t been _that_ good of a night. It was good because Jason had been there with him, but he had such a broken sleep and being on that tiny bed with Jason all over him didn’t help. He just didn’t have the heart to tell him that he was making it more uncomfortable.

Clark could clearly hear in his head the sound Jason’s voice made when he was telling him he thought Clark had died. Of course, Clark was fine. Something terrible happened yesterday and he found himself in a position he shouldn’t have been in, but he was okay, and his friends were okay, and that scumbag Campbell was dead and Clark wasn’t sorry about it at all. He kind of just wanted to forget about it and move on. He should have never been involved in the first place. It wasn’t his battle, but of course he would always have his friend’s back.

Things were a bit fuzzy in Clark’s head. He could remember what happened but it felt like a dream. And he was so scared of all the things the doctor had rattled off to him yesterday about what could happen to him if he really did have brain damage. Forgetting something as simple as his passcode on his phone scared him. That morning he stared at a clock for fifteen minutes trying to figure out the time before finally grabbing Jason’s wrist and checking his digital watch. Then again, he never was too good at telling the time on an analogue clock. Then, when he and Jason were leaving and Clark had to pick up his medication, do you think he could even remember the _word_ medication? He didn’t know if it was how he had always been, or if he was tricking himself into thinking something was wrong, or if something actually _was_ wrong.

“Tired?” Jason asked.

“I don’t know if I’m tired or if it’s just my head,” Clark said.

“Maybe you should get some real sleep,” Jason suggested.

“No,” Clark shook his head slowly, “I’m okay.”

“You sure? What are you thinking about? You kind of just spaced out just before,” Jason asked.

Clark looked to him, knowing he could trust him to voice his insecurities. “Just wondering if I’m gonna get dumber.”

Jason tilted his head to the side and something flashed in his eyes; a fondness. “You’re not dumb in the first place,” he told him “and so what if you forget some shit here and there?”

“What if I forget my own name one day?” Clark asked.

“You can get it tattooed on you,” Jason suggested, causing a smile to break out on Clark’s lips.

“You’re an idiot,” Clark said, nudging his side.

“A talent.”

Clark felt himself calming down. His doctor assured him that the symptoms he listed would probably not even happen, but they _might_, and that ‘might’ word, had Clark worried. Jason made him feel better though. He liked having him there, even if he had no idea what was going on between the two of them. He just liked that despite their argument and the ultimatum Clark left for him, he was still there when he needed him.

Clark _really_ liked him, or at least enough to fantasize about what it would be like to date him, but Jason hadn’t given a clue as to what he wanted. Was Jason there with him as a friend or something more? Who was Clark kidding? He more than liked Jason. He was pretty sure he had fallen for him, and knowing that Jason was so hesitant kind of hurt him a lot. It just reminded Clark that he was always the one to like people more than they liked him.

“When did the doctor say you can take this off?” Jason asked as he pointed to the bandage wrapped around Clark’s head. 

“I don’t want to take it off. They probably shaved my head and I have some ugly scar,” Clark mumbled.

“Can I look?” Jason asked.

Clark gave a nod and Jason took the greenlight to move closer. He carefully unravelled the bandages before peeling off the gauze that had been stuck there. Clark hadn’t been able to see it for himself. It was on the back of his head anyway, near the side. He’d probably never see it unless he got a couple of mirrors.

“How bad is it?” Clark asked him, studying his face for any sign of disgust, but he got none. 

“Not that bad. And once your hair grows back you won’t even notice the mark,” Jason said. 

“And until then I gotta walk around with a giant fucking bald patch,” Clark muttered.

“It’s really not that bad, bro. You have enough hair to disguise it,” Jason said as he fiddled with the strands surrounding the stitches. It only stung a little and when Clark winced, Jason stopped, dropping his hand. 

“You’re just saying that to be nice,” Clark said.

Jason shrugged, “I think you look badass.”

Clark pouted. He didn’t _want _to look badass. Modelling was totally a back-up plan for him if he wasn’t good at anything else. If he had some ugly scar people may not hire him. He was well aware of how dramatic he was being, but he couldn’t help it.

“Stop sulking,” Jason demanded. He wrapped up the bandages, deciding that Clark didn’t need them anymore, and put them on the coffee table. “Change of topic. What do you want to do today?”

Clark shrugged, “I don’t know, what do you want to do?”

The two stared at each other for a few moments and for the first time since their talk yesterday at Jason’s house, things felt awkward. Without the distraction of the hospital, they just had themselves and an empty house, and it became more than clear that there was a huge question mark over their relationship. Were they just going to be friends or something more? He could sense that Jason was thinking the same thing. And Clark just remembered how much Jason does not want to date a guy; how Clark would never be more than a friend or a fuck buddy to him. His heart deflated and once again he was sulking. 

“I’m actually kind of tired. Maybe you should head home,” Clark gave him an out. Jason frowned and shook his head slightly, so slightly that Clark almost missed it.

“Do you wanna go to prom with me?” Jason said out of nowhere. Literally nowhere. Clark was expecting Jason to either go home or suggest a video game or movie. But, prom? _Prom?_

Clark frowned in confusion, “like as friends?”

“No, Clark, not as friends,” Jason said softly.

Clark let out a breath. There’s Jason for you, always throwing a curve ball.

“I’m so confused,” Clark whined as he head-butted Jason’s shoulder. Jason chuckled as he raised his arm and pulled Clark down, guiding him to rest his head on his lap. Clark just relaxed against him, letting him card his fingers through his hair, careful not to touch the stitches.

“I’m confused too,” Jason said.

“I don’t want to fuck things up,” Clark murmured. 

“Me either.”

“So, what do we do?” Clark asked. He shifted on the couch, laying on his back. He looked up at Jason who had already been watching him. He just needed Jason to tell him what to do, what they were, what he even wanted. Just, anything, because Clark was stuck. Jason trailed his fingers through Clark’s hair and down the side of his face before going down his neck, leaving a trail of Goosebumps. Clark really wanted to kiss him.

“Yesterday…” Jason started, “…fucking sucked, okay? I literally thought you might’ve been dead, and…I don’t know, dude. You just mean a lot to me. And life’s too short, you know?”

“So, what, we…try things? Go on a date? What?” Clark asked helplessly.

“Maybe…”

“Maybe?”

“Listen,” Jason sighed, “what I told you yesterday at my house still stands. I don’t _know_ if I’m going to be into dating you. I can’t promise you that it’ll work. I can’t promise I won’t hurt you. But…fuck I really like you. I think you know that. And…I don’t know. I want to try. But if you don’t want to, like…if you don’t want the risk then I get it. We can just be friends.”

Clark chewed on his bottom lip as he thought about what Jason was throwing out there. He would love a guarantee that Jason was one hundred per cent on board, but he also knew he would never get that, at least not right away. He probably wouldn’t get that at the start of _any_ relationship. He was just so scared to get hurt. He didn’t know what to do.

“Look,” Jason continued, “prom is a little over a week away anyway, and you went through a lot yesterday. Maybe we can just think about it a little more.”

Clark nodded, liking the sound of that very much. He was getting a little overwhelmed with everything, after all.

“Do you still want me to go?” Jason asked.

Clark shook his head, “no. Wanna watch a movie?”

“Sure, your choice.”

“Dude, where’s my car?” Clark said instantly. Jason smiled before gently manoeuvring himself from underneath Clark and going to set up the DVD.

Clark watched him, seeing him in a different way. Jason wanted to go on a date with him. They could literally be _dating. _Could they even be _boyfriends?_ It was a little scary because he didn’t want to lose his best friend on the chance that he could get a boyfriend, but at the same time he also felt like it they didn’t try and give it a real shot, they might just lose their friendship anyway and be left wondering ‘what if?’

\---

On the night of prom, Clark found himself knocking on Jason’s door. He was nervous to say the least. After the prom-posal and deciding to think about whether it was a good idea, the two hadn’t discussed it at all. Not even once. Not the tiniest mention. It wasn’t until that very morning that Jason sent him a text and asked if prom was going to be their first date or not. Clark had replied with a simple ‘yes’ because he was not at all ready to close the door on the possibility of a relationship.

Standing at Jason’s door, Clark had never been more nervous for a date in his entire life. He was even more nervous than when he had first met Justin. He felt sick. His hands were shaking a bit. It was ridiculous because he had known Jason most of his life so it made no sense that he was nervous to even _see_ him.

Jason opened the door, looking fine as hell, perfectly dressed in his suit. When Jason wanted to, he could really scrub up and, fuck, Clark was _definitely_ into guys. Jason looked hot as all hell, leaving Clark at a loss for words.

“Hey.”

“Uh, hey,” Clark snapped out of it, “you ready?”

Jason nodded and looked behind him at the limousine they had all pitched a bit of money towards.

“Sick limo,” Jason said as he walked around him and down the front yard. Clark caught up to him quicker.

“Yeah, even cooler inside. Mini-fridge and all,” Clark said.

“Really? Any alcohol?” Jason asked, glancing at him.

“Packed. They either didn’t realize we’re not twenty-one, or they forget it was full,” Clark said. He raced a little ahead of Jason, just making it to the vehicle before him. He opened the door quickly and stepped to the side.

“Wow, such a gentleman,” Jason coddled before he got in the limo. Clark, trying desperately not to overthink if opening the door for him was the right thing to do or not, just got in the back too, closing the door behind them. He pressed the intercom button and told the driver to move on to their next destination.

“Who are we getting first?” Jason asked.

“Gwen. Seth couldn’t come. He still has finals. Then we’ll get Luke and Helena,” Clark explained.

“What are we going to tell them?” Jason asked.

“About?”

“Us.”

“I don’t know,” Clark said, unsure, “what do you want to tell them?”

“What do _you_ want to tell them?” Jason countered.

“I mean…I don’t really care if they know,” Clark said honestly.

“I don’t think _we_ even really know what’s going on,” Jason said, and he had a point there.

“So…so what are we then? Are we, like…boyfriends, or…” Clark trailed off, feeling dumb for even asking. In fact, he had just made things a lot more awkward than they needed to be and he could tell by the look on Jason’s face that he didn’t like the question.

“First date, bro,” Jason reminded him.

Right, it was the first fucking date and Clark was jumping in head first. He needed to slow it down because it was clear Jason wasn’t where he was, headspace-wise.

“Want a drink?” Jason said, distracting the two from the tense atmosphere. He moved around to where the mini-fridge was and opened it.

“Yeah,” Clark nodded, needing to take the edge off.

“Should you even be drinking much?” Jason asked, eyeing him skeptically.

“I’ll be fine,” Clark said. It had been over a week since the incident and he hadn’t had a fuzzy head. It didn’t hurt anymore. He felt pretty normal, even if he seemed to be fucking up on anything that involved numbers, but other than that he felt normal.

Jason joined Clark again, handing him an open beer. He took it, downing nearly half the bottle then and there. The two of them drank in silence as they got close and closer to Gwen’s house. Literal silence, sitting two feet apart, not looking at each other. Clark didn’t really know what to do, and that was why he was so relieved when they finally got to Gwen’s house.

Both the boys got out of the car to greet the excited Gwen as she ran from her house, skipping down the front lawn, dressed in a red ensemble, she looked every bit the popular princess that she had always been.

“Hello boys!” she exclaimed as she did a twirl.

“Looking hot as hell, Gwen,” Jason said.

“He’s not wrong. You look great,” Clark agreed.

“Ah, yes. Who needs a boyfriend here when I have you two to shower me with compliments?” she said. She smiled brightly at them before going past to the limo, climbing in. The boys followed after.

“To Luke’s, please,” Clark said into the intercom, and then they were off. Jason and Clark sat side by side while Gwen sat across from them, looking them up and down.

“You two are very handsome tonight, and your bow-ties are matching. That’s so cute,” she grinned. The matching blue bow-ties were a complete accident.

“Not on purpose,” Jason told her.

“Well, now you two look like a couple,” Gwen giggled, thinking she was all sorts of hilarious. The boys exchanged looks, having a silent conversation with each other. Clark knew exactly what Jason was thinking, and then a gave a little nod, shrugging. Clark looked to Gwen who had forgotten about them and was checking out the interior of the limo. Well, he might as well tell her now.

“Uhm…so…we actually are…sort of…a couple…kind of,” Clark said, glancing at Jason.

Gwen snorted, “yeah, okay.”

Clark went quiet, and Jason wasn’t helping with the reveal at all. After all, Gwen was Clark’s ex, not Jason’s, so it was kind of Clark’s job to be the one to tell her. It took Gwen a moment to realize they weren’t laughing with her. She eyed them suspiciously.

“Wait…wait, wait, wait. Are you serious?” Gwen asked.

Clark nodded, “this is actually our first date.”

She looked back and forth before shaking her head, “you’re kidding.”

“Nope.”

“I don’t believe it,” she decided adamantly, “you guys are fucking with me because I suspected something after the crash, but there’s _no way_ you’re gay, Clark. I think I’d know.”

“I’m bi,” Clark told her.

Gwen looked to Jason, “Jason, come on. Be serious.”

“We are,” Jason finally spoke, “we were hooking up for a few weeks and stopped for a little, and now…now we’re going to give dating a shot.”

“What?!” she practically shouted, finally taking them seriously. “I thought I was crazy when the crash happened and I thought you two were a bit close. Are you telling me you’re actually hooking up?”

“Can we not make a big deal of it?” Jason asked.

“Who else knows?” she shot back.

“Grizz has for a while,” Clark answered, “Luke’s got an idea but I haven’t really talked to him about it a lot. But he knows.”

“Grizz knew?” she asked with wide eyes.

“Yeah.”

“And he didn’t tell me? What the fuck?” Gwen was losing it, and honestly it was a little amusing.

“You need to chill,” Jason said just as they pulled up outside Luke’s house.

“I can’t believe he didn’t tell me. Oh that boy better be home,” she said through gritted teeth.

The moment the limo had come to a complete stop, she got out and marched up to Luke’s house where Grizz was still living. Jason and Clark looked to each other, knowing damn well they had just gotten Grizz into a bit of trouble. They got out and followed Gwen up to the door which she was incessantly knocking on. The man in questioned opened the door and most likely instantly regretted that decision.

“You!” Gwen snapped as she pointed at Grizz, “you knew they were hooking up and didn’t tell me?!”

Grizz looked behind her to where Clark and Jason were standing. Clark was beginning to regret telling her.

“Uhm…” Grizz said, turning his attention back to Gwen, “you look really pretty tonight.”

“I know that! Don’t change the subject. What do you have to say for yourself?” Gwen asked as she folded her arms over her chest.

“It wasn’t my thing to share,” Grizz said.

“I can’t believe this. Well, I can. I had my suspicions but I just thought it was some bromance bullshit. I didn’t think they were _actually_ doing it,” she said.

“I don’t know what to say,” Grizz murmured, looking to Clark for help.

“We’re supposed to be friends, Grizz. Friends share,” she argued.

“You didn’t tell anyone about Sam and Grizz!” Clark pointed out, trying his best to give Grizz a helping hand.

“I…” Gwen started, looking to Clark and back to Grizz, “okay…I just think I deserved to know earlier that I turned Clark gay.”

“Bi,” Jason corrected her.

“Yeah and if anyone turned me gay it was Grizz,” Clark blurted out, and instantly regretted it.

“What?!” Gwen practically shouted.

An awkward silence descended over the group, and not because of what Gwen had just found out, but because of the clear annoyance written all over Jason’s face. Clark had turned to him the moment the idiotic statement came from his lips, knowing that Jason’s jealousy over Grizz was a sore point. Jason merely rolled his eyes before pushing past Gwen and Grizz, going inside.

“Luke! Where you at, let’s go!” Jason shouted as he hopped up the stairs two at a time.

“Jase…” Clark whined, but Jason didn’t listen to him. He just headed upstairs.

Realizing how much of a fucking idiot he was, Clark groaned dramatically. “Fuck my life!”

“What the hell is going on?” Gwen asked. Clark didn’t want to answer her.

“So, you and Jason…back on officially?” Grizz asked?

“Sort of. This is supposed to be our first date and I’m fucking it up already,” Clark said.

“I’m sure you’re not,” Grizz said.

“It’s so fucking weird, you know? I don’t even know how the fuck to act. Like I’ve been on dates before and it’s been fine, but now I don’t know what the fuck to say or do,” Clark unloaded.

“Just be yourselves. You hang out all the time,” Grizz said.

“But this is different. It’s like…formal. It’s legit,” Clark said.

“I’m sure it’ll be fine,” Grizz assured him.

“My head hurts thinking about it,” Clark muttered.

“Your head hurts?” Gwen interjected, “_my_ fucking head hurts. What is going on? _Grizz_ turned you gay? How? Would someone just tell me the full story?”

Ignoring her, Grizz went on, “how is your head anyway?”

Clark shrugged, “fine. Things get a bit fuzzy sometimes, and I forget some shit, but it’s okay. Doctors say I should get over it.”

“It’s only been two weeks,” Grizz said.

“Oh my God, I hate you both,” Gwen said through gritted teeth.

Grizz sighed, looking at her, “would it kill you to mind your own business?”

“It might,” she nodded.

At that moment, saving them from having to explain themselves to her, Jason and Luke came down the stairs.

“We’re late for Helena. Let’s go,” Luke said.

“This isn’t over,” Gwen said as she stepped towards Grizz. She wrapped her arms around him in a hug, “wish you were coming tonight.”

“Yeah, won’t be the same without you.” Jason said, his voice lacking enthusiasm. Clark desperately looked between the two boys, knowing he ticked Jason off but not knowing how to take it back. At the same time though, nothing was going on between himself and Grizz so Jason didn’t really have a reason to be upset.

“You need to come out with us after!” Gwen exclaimed to Grizz, “school can’t ban you from doing that.”

“No. It’s fine. I’m happy being here,” Grizz said.

“Let us know if you change your mind.” Gwen said.

“I won’t. Enjoy your hangovers. Have fun,” Grizz said.

“We’ll send you a bunch of snaps. It’ll be like you’re there with us,” Clark said absent mindedly, his focus still on Jason.

“Cool,” Grizz nodded.

They all said their goodbyes before the prom group headed back down to the limo, leaving Grizz alone. Clark felt a bit bad for him having to miss out, but Grizz being there would cause more drama, not just for Jason’s jealousy, but after the Campbell thing, there were a lot of people at school that were convinced Grizz killed him, so staying away was probably the safest bet.

When Clark climbed into the limo last, the first thing he noticed was Jason at the mini-fridge, door wide open as he rifled through it, producing shot-sized bottles of vodka.

“Starting a bit early, aren’t you, Jason?” Luke asked.

“This’ll be one of the best nights of our lives. Let’s live a little,” Jason encouraged them.

“I’m down!” Gwen enthused.

“Good girl!” Jason threw her a bottle. He held two out to Luke and Clark, and after both nodded in agreement, Jason passed the bottles to them. Well, it was going to be a _big_ night if they were already on shots. Clark drank his with a grimace along with the others.

With Luke and Gwen striking up a conversation about what Helena would be wearing, which Luke wasn’t privy to, Clark took the distraction as an opportunity to talk to the boy next to him.

“I’m sorry,” Clark told him.

“What for?” Jason murmured absent-mindedly as he studied his now-empty bottle.

“The Grizz thing,” Clark said.

Jason looked up at him in surprise, “oh, that? It’s cool. I’m not even upset.”

“You aren’t?” Clark asked sceptically.

“Nah. We’re on a date, okay? I don’t want to think about him,” Jason said.

Clark nodded, not taking it any further but also not really believing that Jason wasn’t bothered by the comment. When Clark was dating Gwen and she’d get mad at him, he’d usually take her hand, or place his hand on her thigh in a comforting squeeze, or give her a kiss to smooth things over. He didn’t know what to do with Jason though. He didn’t know what was okay, and Jason was sitting an entire two feet away from him anyway. It really just felt like they were friends and not out on a date at all, and Clark didn’t know what to do. All he _could_ do was hope they’d both loosen up as the night went on.

The limo headed to Helena’s house to pick her up, and then it was off to the school. The prom was being held in the gymnasium. It wasn’t very fancy, but it wasn’t like they went to a particularly rich school in their small town. As the group walked into the gymnasium the first, most obvious, thing they noticed was the theme; the purple lights, the planets hanging around the room. Out of this world, right? If Clark could remember correctly, that was the theme.

They were fashionably late. The prom was well underway with couples and friends dancing together. Most people were coupled up, showing off who they managed to get as a partner to prom. And there Clark and Jason were with Gwen. Luke and Helena stood before them, hand in hand. Was that what Clark and Jason were supposed to do? Hold hands like all the other couples. Were they supposed to go over to the photo booth which Helena was dragging Luke to to get a couples photo?

Ever since Clark had been questioning his sexuality and found out Jason was well aware of his, he had been looking up to his friend for guidance, knowing how much more experienced in this than he was himself. So, Clark looked to Jason, following his lead for the night. And that lead meant…acting as though they were just friends.

They did the rounds, along with Gwen, Luke and Helena. They broke off into groups, chatting to their classmates about anything and everything, which was easy. Clark was admittedly popular. He was a class clown. It was easy going around and talking to everyone, entertaining them, ignoring the fact that Jason kept separating himself from him and the group when he saw someone else he knew and wanted to talk to.

There was only one plus side to having so many other people around; it didn’t feel like a first date. It made Clark feel a little less on edge. There were no awkward silences. There were no moments where Clark had to wonder what he was supposed to do or how he was supposed to act. At least, that was what it was like at the beginning.

Half way through the night the group had settled, finding themselves at a table together, which was fine, up until a slow song started playing and Luke took Helena to dance, and Becca came over, grabbing Gwen by the wrist and taking her up to the dance floor too. Jason and Clark found themselves side by side, alone, for the first time since entering the gymnasium.

It was _awkward_. Somehow, they had nothing to talk about. Usually all they would do was mess around, or joke with each other, or just talk shit. But that night? Neither of them knew what to say. In his head, Clark was going through all the things people were supposed to talk about on their first date; the ‘get to know you’ questions. But he already knew everything there was to know about Jason.

“So, uh…” Clark started when the silence was about to suffocate him, “who do you think will be king and queen?”

“Luke and Helena,” Jason replied simply.

Clark nodded, “yeah, probably.”

Silence, again. Clark looked to Luke and Helena as a wave of jealousy washed over him. Not an angry kind of jealousy, but a sad one. Clark didn’t take himself to be a romantic sap or anything, but he always imagined himself with Gwen at prom, dancing with her, doing all the shit a couple does. And yet he wasn’t with Gwen anymore, and that was fine. He was over that. It just sucked he was sitting next to someone who didn’t seem to have the slightest bit of interest towards him.

“Do you want to…like…dance or some shit?” Clark asked, and the moment he saw the uncertainty in Jason’s eyes he wanted to gobble the words back up, realizing how ridiculous it sounded.

“Never mind,” Clark back-tracked, “dumb idea.”

Jason sighed, leaning a little closer, “I just don’t want all the questions from these people that we’ll probably never see again.”

“Yeah, yeah I know. I wasn’t thinking,” Clark said. His heart clenched. His hands were sweaty. He was so nervous, not able to relax. It wasn’t even like this when they actually were hooking up. _Stupid fucking date_. And he looked to his date, who was slouched in his chair, looking bored.

The rest of prom continued that way; like they were a couple of kids on a first date too nervous to even look at each other. Or in Jason’s case, too uninterested to even acknowledge Clark. They just sat there as the night went on, as Luke and Helena were predictably titled king and queen, as everyone kept dancing and having fun. They danced too, only not with each other. Clark had never felt more invisible in his entire life.

Towards the end of prom, Clark found himself at the snacks table, picking at the scraps, trying to fill his mostly empty stomach, when Jason came up to him.

“Hey, the others are ready to go and the Uber is out front,” Jason said. Right, they were still supposed to go out to the city with their fake IDs to hit some clubs and bars, but Clark wasn’t in the mood to party.

“I think I might just call it a night and go home,” Clark said, still looking at the remnants of food.

“What? Why?” Jason asked.

Clark shrugged.

“What’s wrong?” Jason asked, stepping closer to him.

“Tired,” Clark said simply. He went to turn and walk away, but Jason stopped him, latching onto his hip and blocking his way at the same time. Clark looked down at the other’s hand.

“First time you’ve touched me all night,” Clark said as he finally looked at Jason’s face which had a frown upon it.

“What, like you’ve been _so_ affectionate with me tonight,” Jason said, and he had a point.

Clark let out a deep breath, “this is weird. Why is it weird?”

“I don’t know,” Jason said as he dropped his hand, “I don’t know. I’ve never, like…I’ve never done this with a guy. I don’t know what to do.”

“Me either.”

“Just come out tonight, please,” Jason begged, “I don’t like this. We’re never not comfortable around each other, you know? Let’s just be us again.”

“Us again?” Clark asked, unsure of what that even meant anymore.

“Yeah, like chill. Like friends. Like-“

“Jason! Clark!” Luke shouted, cutting Jason off mid-sentence. “Are you losers coming or what!?”

Clark looked to Luke who was a little away but waving them over. Clark nodded and looked back to Jason who was still looking at him.

“Are you coming?” Jason asked.

“Yeah.”

Jason smiled and he nodded for Clark to follow, which he did, but he had a queasy feeling in his stomach. Because what was that Jason had said? He wanted to be chill again? Like _friends_ again? Did that mean he didn’t like the entire idea of dating? Because honestly, they tried it, and it had gone nowhere. So now what?

\---

The first two bars they went to weren’t that interesting, but the drinks were cheap, which was why Gwen had made them go there. Her theory was, drink up first, get nice and drunk on the cheap shit and then party at the more lush clubs deeper into the city. Clark had already had a fair bit to drink. They all had. It wasn’t like he was already tripping over his own two feet, but he had a pretty good buzz going on. He was, however, teetering on the edge of fun drunk Clark, and moody depressed Clark.

He and Jason were talking to each other, like they were talking to their friends, but that was it. Clark felt as though they were getting a little closer, and a bit more chill, what with all the alcohol coursing through their veins. But it was hard to cross the line from friends to more, mostly because Clark still had no clue if that was what Jason wanted or not.

At the fourth club they made their way to, Clark found himself leaning against the bar in a bit of a daze as he watched his friends. Luke and Helena had been attached to each other all night. Becca had come along with them and was dancing with Jason, which Clark wasn’t _too_ worried about. Becca wasn’t Jason’s type and there was nothing in their dancing that showed anything more than friendship.

“Stop sulking!” a shrill voice in Clark’s ear made him jump. He looked to Gwen. When the fuck did she get there? Last Clark checked Gwen was dancing with some random guy, who Gwen swore was just for fun and she would never actually do anything to disrespect Seth.

“I’m not,” Clark said.

Gwen smiled and leant against the bar, facing him.

“You’re staring at Jason. Just go out there and dance with him for crying out loud!” Gwen said.

Clark turned to face her, trying to prove a point that he, in fact, was _not_ staring at Jason, even if he really was.

“I can’t just go out there and dance with him,” Clark said.

“Why the hell not?” Gwen asked.

Clark looked to Jason and back to Gwen, his head spinning a little. That last shot of tequila was getting to him a little, but he was still fine.

“I don’t think he’s interested in dating me,” Clark said.

“What makes you think that?” she asked.

“Have you seen us even once tonight act like more than friends?” Clark asked.

Gwen tilted her head to the side as she thought about it.

“I don’t get it. You’re supposed to be on a date,” she said as she lightly hit him on the chest. She was pretty drunk already, being more of a lightweight than the others. Becca had been a pretty good babysitter up until she heard her favorite song and grabbed the hand of the closest person to her; Jason.

“He’s never been into guys like that though. He just hooks up with them. I don’t think he’s into me like _that_,” Clark said.

“Are you fucking with me, boy? I’ve seen the sex eyes he’s been giving you all night,” she said.

Clark shook his head, “bullshit. He’s barely paid attention to me.”

“You’re so blind,” she covered her own eyes before dropping her hands, “you two have been tip-toeing around each other all night and I’m sick of it!”

“He’s tip-toeing because he’s not into me. If he _was_ into me he’d show some fucking interest, which he hasn’t,” Clark said.

“Because he’s a stupid fucking _boy_, Clark. You don’t get how boys work yet. And boys like _Jason_, they need a push,” Gwen said.

“What are you talking about, _boys like Jason_?” he mimicked her.

“Okay, so, when he was dating Erica, he was _the worst_ when it came to giving her attention, so you know what she did?” Gwen asked.

“What?”

“Make him _jealous,_ Clark. Jason is a jealous, jealous dude. You need to flirt with someone and he’ll be on you like a moth to a flame,” she said.

Clark shook his head, “I’m not going to play games with him. I’m not going to flirt with some stranger.”

“Then flirt with me,” she said.

“That won’t work. He knows you have Seth,” Clark said.

“Boys are dumb though. He’s not even going to think about that. He’s just going to see me, standing a little closer,” Gwen said as she did just that, stepping closer to him so there was barely any space. “And,” she went on, “laughing with you, and touching you.”

“Seriously?” Clark asked.

“Oh my God, you are _so_ funny!” Gwen said with a fake giggle as she placed her hand on Clark’s chest.

“This isn’t going to work,” Clark said.

“Oh sweetie,” she said, playing with his bow-tie, “it will. It’s all about the body language.”

“This is weird,” Clark said.

“Relax. Now smile like I’ve just complimented you,” Gwen said.

Clark shook his head. He wasn’t doing this.

“It’s okay, I’ve got enough flirt in me to make up for the both of us. You have something on your lip,” she said before she reached up and ran her thumb along his bottom lip.

“No, I don’t.”

“Oh stop acting like you aren’t loving the idea of making him jealous,” Gwen said as she ran her hand down Clark’s arm, “if you thought it was such a bad idea you would’ve stepped away.”

“Yeah…well…” Clark was at a loss because, yeah, he really wanted Jason to just _notice_ him, or care that someone else could be interested in him.

“Incoming,” Gwen said with a grin.

“What?”

She didn’t say anything and the next moment Clark knew why. Jason was next to him out of nowhere, flinging his arm around his shoulder.

“Fuck off, Gwen,” Jason said.

“Woah,” Gwen said, putting her hands up in defence and taking a step back.

“Dude, really?” Clark asked him. His tone was a bit harsh.

Jason looked between the two of them, but he didn’t take it back. He just glared at Gwen, expecting her to ‘fuck off’ like he said. Gwen merely laughed and gave Clark a knowing look before walking off over to where Becca was. Clark turned to Jason, shaking his arm from his shoulder.

“Really? It took Gwen trying to make you jealous to even notice my existence?” Clark snapped.

“I notice your existence, Clark. All I do is notice you,” Jason said.

“Well it doesn’t feel like it,” the words came tumbling out, mixed with the frustration of the entire night, “like…fuck are we on a date or not?”

“I’m nervous as shit, okay? You know I’ve never done this before. You know I have no fucking idea what I’m doing or _supposed_ to be doing here,” Jason argued.

“Neither do I.”

“So, what the fuck do you want from me?” Jason asked. If it wasn’t for the loud music surrounding them, they’d probably have garnered a crowd of on-lookers by now.

“I just…want you to…not act like I’m a fucking leper,” Clark pleaded, “I want us to act like we’re actually dating and not friends. I want us to, like, I don’t know. Hold hands and shit.”

“It’s not like you’re jumping at the chance to hold my hand either,” Jason countered. He was right, but at the same time, Clark always took Jason’s lead. He didn’t know what to do without that guidance.

“Do you even _want_ to hold my hand?” Clark asked.

“Yeah, I’ll hold the shit outta your hand,” Jason said.

“Good.”

“Great.”

Jason latched onto Clark’s hand, forcefully linking their fingers together. He held up their hands and looked at Clark in a ‘there, I did it’, sort of way.

“Happy?” Jason asked.

Clark thought about it for a moment. He wasn’t, really. Sure, hand holding was great, but _forced_ hand holding? Not so much. He needed more.

“Kiss me,” Clark challenged him.

“Where?” Jason threw back. Clark inhaled and let out the shaky breath. That look in Jason’s eyes, the teasing, the flash of ‘sex eyes’, as Gwen had called it. Clark missed that.

“A first date with a group of friends sucks. Can we go somewhere else?” Clark asked.

Jason nodded, “we can hit some clubs, just the two of us. No fucking awkward bullshit, okay?”

“Okay,” Clark nodded.

“And I’ll save kissing you for later because I’m afraid if I start now, I won’t be able to stop,” Jason said, and it was sweet, but Clark wondered if it was because they were out in public or around their friends. Or maybe he was telling the truth. Or maybe he didn’t actually want to kiss him. Clark decided he definitely needed more alcohol to shut his brain up.

“Let’s let the others know we’re going off on our own. We can meet them in a few hours to go home, okay?” Jason asked.

“Okay,” Clark nodded, and with their hands still locked together they did just that, going over to Luke to tell him of their plans, before they left the club together to go to the next one.

\---

Clark had no idea what time it was when Luke messaged them saying they were leaving. He didn’t know where he was. He didn’t even know what he had done during the last however many hours it was. All he knew was that he and Jason were having the time of their lives jumping from club to club, and while sure, they could have been interpreted as being just friends, at least they were having fun. They were comfortable around each other again, even if it was the alcohol talking.

The night was a blur. It was like one second they were telling Luke they were heading off on their own, and the next he and Jason were sitting against the brick wall of a building, slumped against each other. Too much alcohol. _Way _too much alcohol. Clark’s entire body felt heavy, but he had the giggles too, and he knew what that was. _When the fuck_ _had he done marijuana_? He had images of an older man on the balcony of some club, but he couldn’t really remember.

“Jesus,” a familiar voice said. Luke. Clark looked up, seeing Luke was in fact there. He nudged Jason next to him who might’ve been just a little worse off for wear than Clark was.

“Party too hard?” Luke asked.

“Shut up, nerd. We had fun,” Jason said.

“Did we? Can’t remember,” Clark said.

“Well one of you should’ve fucking replied to us. We’ve been driving around looking or you everywhere. You fuckers are paying for the Uber,” Luke said.

Clark looked behind him, seeing that there was in fact a car parked on the street with Helena looking out one of the windows. Luke blocked his view and held a hand out. Clark reach out, taking it, and Luke helped him onto wobbly feet. Half his weight leant on his friend as he helped him over to the car. Luke guided him into the very back of the seven-seater.

“Gwen, buckle him up,” Luke ordered.

Gwen’s bright, cheerful face appeared in front of him as she reached over her seat and managed to do up the seatbelt for Clark. He sighed, resting his head against the cool glass window.

“Have fun?” Gwen asked.

Even though the night was a blur, Clark still nodded, knowing that whatever he and Jason had done, it was fun, because he was in an amazing mood, feeling like he was floating on a cloud. Or maybe he had taken some harder drugs. He didn’t know.

“Daddy Luke is mad,” Jason snorted as Luke practically lifted him into the car.

“You’re in trouble,” Clark teased.

Luke didn’t comment, because he was, in fact, pissed at them. Clark was _sure_ he replied to his text. Oh well. Luke locked Jason into his seat before getting into the front with the driver.

“Water,” Helena said as her head popped up behind the seat in front of them. She handed out two bottles of water which the boys took gratefully.

“Drink it, _all_ of it,” Helena demanded.

“You and Lukey will make great parents one day,” Jason said.

“Are we grounded?” Clark asked.

“Yes. You’re grounded,” Luke called out from up the front.

Clark pouted before opening his water and downing half a bottle. Jason did the same. They looked to each other, a grin appearing on both sets of lips.

“You’re really pretty,” Jason slurred.

“You are,” Clark said.

Their noses brushed together and Clark wanted so badly to just kiss him, but Jason turned his head, drinking more water. All the doubts in Clark’s mind had evaporated. That didn’t mean they weren’t there, hidden in the back of his head somewhere, but in that moment he didn’t have a care in the world.

The car ride home felt like a long one. It was long enough for Clark to squeeze in a quick nap. It was long enough for the water to do its magic and sober him up a bit. As he looked at Jason when they got back to town, he noticed him looking a bit more alert as well. Although, they were both still pretty out of it. Clark hadn’t even noticed that the two of them had been holding hands for, well, who knew how long?

Clark had been so busy staring at Jason that he didn’t even know they had gotten back to Luke’s and the Uber had come to a stop until Luke was at the open door, ushering them to climb out. The two did so, ending up standing on the pavement on the side of the street as they watched the car drive away.

“Can you two walk?” Luke asked.

“I’m good,” Clark answered.

“Lead the way,” Jason nodded.

The group headed towards Luke’s house. Clark looked around at the lot of them, noticing that the girls still seemed pretty buzzed and were chatty. None of them looked tired at all. Jason stumbled against Clark, knocking into him, who then fell against the annoyed Luke who had apparently taken up the role of the sober friend. His loss, really.

Luke unlocked the door and the lot of them piled in, making a beeline for the living room.

“Home sweet home,” Gwen said as she gracefully collapsed onto the floor.

“Oh God, yes. Comfort,” Clark said as his eyes, wide as saucers, landed on the empty couch. He fell back on it, sprawling out on his back. What he wasn’t expecting was Jason climbing on top of him, laying on him, front to front. Clark froze for a moment, only because he momentarily forgot that his friends knew about them. He relaxed when Jason nuzzled his nose against his neck. _This_ was what couples did. This was what made Clark feel like he was on cloud nine. He wrapped his arms around Jason’s back, getting comfortable.

“So good,” Jason murmured.

“That,” Gwen piped up, “is going to take some getting used to.”

Clark didn’t have the energy to argue with her or even move. He was really, really comfortable.

“What’s everyone doing. Tired or not?” Luke asked.

“Can’t decide. You know I didn’t want to leave that last club,” Gwen said.

“Sorry, my feet were really hurting,” Helena said, “and I think Becca was one drink away from throwing up.”

“I’m fine!” Becca argued.

The chatter went on and Clark found himself tuning out as Jason’s hand, that had been limply resting against Clark’s chest, made its way up to his neck, his finger tips lazily gliding along the smooth skin. Clark closed his eyes and for a moment it was just the two of them.

And then, Clark’s stomach rumbled. Loudly. Actually, he would be surprised if Jason hadn’t _felt_ it rumble. Jason chuckled right into Clark’s ear, sending shivers right through him.

“I’m hungry,” Clark confessed before anyone could accuse him.

“Luke, we’re hungry,” Jason said as he sat up; his bottom half still pressed to Clark, but his top half propped up, his elbows digging into Clark’s chest, but he didn’t mind in the slightest.

“You know where the kitchen is,” Luke said from over on the other couch with Helena on his lap.

Jason looked to Clark, the silent question in his eyes. Clark nodded because, well, he was really damn hungry. Jason pushed himself up and took Clark’s hand, pulling him up with him. The two made their way to Luke’s kitchen, trying to be quiet because who knew who else was in the house trying to sleep.

“Sit,” Jason ordered, patting the countertop by the fridge. Clark did as he was told, easily jumping up onto the counter. He sat on the edge with his legs dangling over.

“Sweet or savoury?” Jason asked.

“Hmm…sweet,” Clark answered.

Jason bit his bottom lip as he scanned the fridge. He ended up crouching down as he opened the freezer.

“Perfect,” Jason said before producing the two tubs of ice-cream; one vanilla and one chocolate. He set the tubs down next to Clark and found two bowls and two spoons. He filled one bowl with chocolate ice-cream and handed it to Clark who was quick to dig in. He filled the other with vanilla, keeping it to himself.

“This is so good,” Clark moaned.

“Don’t inhale it, you’ll be sick,” Jason warned.

“But I’m hungry,” Clark pouted.

“I don’t think ice-cream is even that filling,” Jason said, followed up with a shrug. He stood close to Clark, between his legs as he ate his own ice-cream. Clark watched him, and for some reason found the mere task of Jason _eating_ to be so fascinating. Jason noticed Clark watching him. He paused as if he were going to say something, before he scooped some of the vanilla ice-cream onto his spoon and offered it to Clark.

“Wanna taste?” Jason asked.

“I don’t like vanilla,” Clark said.

“This is really good though, you’re missing out,” Jason said.

“I’m fine with chocolate,” Clark said.

“Come on,” Jason whined, “give it a go.”

“Nope.”

“One mouthful,” Jason inched the spoon closer.

Clark shook his head, keeping his lips sealed shut.

“I’ll shove it in your mouth,” Jason said as he put the spoon to Clark’s mouth. Clark leant back, which only made Jason lean closer.

“Do we need to talk about consent?” Clark asked.

“Do it, for me?” Jason asked.

Clark shook his head, but Jason, in a clearly playful mood made one last attempt at getting the ice-cream in Clark’s mouth, only Clark turned his head to the side, and that was when he felt the now melted ice-cream smear across his jaw and drip down his neck. Clark yelped, pushing Jason away.

“Look what you did,” Clark snapped, “you made a mess.”

Clark went to wipe at the sticky liquid but Jason grabbed hold of his wrist, stopping him. He set his bowl down on the counter and moved closer. He took everything out of Clark’s hands too, setting it down, leaving Clark to wonder what the hell he was doing.

“I got this,” Jason said a little cockily, and boy, did he _have_ this.

He moved in and before Clark had a second to register what he was doing, Jason had his tongue on his neck as he lapped at the ice-cream. Clark closed his eyes, feeling himself come undone. _Fuck_. Jason undid Clark’s bow-tie before the first couple buttons of his shirt. He tugged at the collar, revealing more skin as he licked a long stripe up his collarbone.

“Jesus, Jase,” Clark whispered.

“Just cleaning you,” Jason murmured. _Cleaning_ definitely didn’t involve _kissing_, which was what Jason was doing as he made his way back up Clark’s neck. When he got to his jaw, he lightly sucked and nibbled on the sweet treat, getting every last drop.

Cleaning also definitely didn’t mean Jason’s hand on his thigh. It didn’t mean Jason’s free hand on the clean side of his neck, fingers digging in to keep him still. It didn’t mean the hickey he was surely leaving right under his ear. It _definitely_ didn’t mean the moan that escaped the back of Clark’s throat. It didn’t fucking mean Jason undoing his belt then and there in the Holbrook’s kitchen. The ridiculousness of the situation reminded Clark of just how drunk they were, which made him take Jason’s hand, stopping him.

“Sorry,” Jason murmured as he pulled back just enough to look at Clark.

“We’re in Luke’s kitchen,” Clark said.

Jason grinned, turning it into a laugh, “oh, yeah. We are.”

His laugh was contagious and soon Clark was smiling along with him. Jesus Christ, Jason’s smile was so fucking _hot_. It had Clark himself feeling hot and bothered, or maybe that was Jason’s hand that was still idle on his crotch.

“Can we keep it PG?” Clark asked.

Jason bit his bottom lip and nodded, “okay, but I’m gonna let you fuck the hell outta me when we’re sober, okay?”

Clark didn’t have a problem with drunk sex with Jason. They had done it before. Back when they were both on the same page. When everything wasn’t so up in the air. Clark was drunk but not drunk enough to not realize how they could easily make a mistake.

“I think you missed a spot,” Clark said.

“Where?” Jason asked as he analysed the work he had done on Clark’s neck. Feeling around beside him, Clark dipped his finger into one of the ice-creams. He brought it to his lips, smearing the vanilla over them like lipstick.

“Oh, there,” Jason said.

“Mhm, maybe you should clean it,” Clark challenged.

“If you wanted a kiss, all you had to do was ask,” Jason said before he closed the gap between them.

His tongue flicked out first as he licked across Clark’s bottom lip. Clark’s tongue joined him and the next moment their lips were pressed together in a hungry kiss as they devoured each other for the first time in what felt like forever. Their tongues slid together in such a familiar way and it was almost like being back in Jason’s room when they first started hooking up. It was as if it were all new, fresh and exciting, and it a way it was, because this time they were kissing knowing that they liked each other more than friends.

Feeling a rush of adrenaline was over him, Clark slid off the counter, hearing and ignoring the sound of one of the bowels smashing. He took Jason’s face in his hands, his palms along his strong jawline, as he gently pushed him against the cabinets opposite them. Jason hummed against his lips as he groped his ass, pulling Clark closer to him. Did Clark say he wanted PG? He wasn’t too sure. All he knew was that he wanted Jason, really fucking bad.

“Guys, what the fuck,” Luke’s voice entered the room. The culprits pulled away from each other, coming back to reality as they realized they were not alone, and that they had smashed a bowl on the tiled floor, making a complete mess that Clark was certain Jason didn’t want to lick up that time.

“That’s my favorite bowl!” Luke complained.

“Oh…fuck. I’m sorry,” Clark said sincerely. He got on the ground, ready to clean it up with his bare hands when Luke stopped him.

“Just leave it. You’ll hurt yourself,” Luke said, “the others are going to bed. You should do the same and sleep off the drinks.”

“But I wanna help,” Clark said.

“Bed. Now,” Luke said with a stern look in his eyes.

Jason took Clark by the arm and pulled him up. Clark went with him willingly, leaving the pissed off Luke in the kitchen to clean up his mess.

“I feel bad,” Clark said.

“Apologize tomorrow,” Jason said simply.

The two headed upstairs and straight to the spare room they always shared when they stayed at Luke’s. They didn’t bother turning the light on to see where they were going. Neither of them even bothered to take any of their clothes off, either because they were lazy or because Clark knew if their clothes came off then giving in to temptation would be that much easier.

Clark lay on his back on the bed, head heavy against the pillow. He sighed deeply as a rush of fatigue washed over him. It had been a long night, even if in that moment he couldn’t really remember a lot of it. Too many drinks. It was like it had been over in a flash but he checked the time in the car. It had been close to 4AM.

“C’mere,” Jason hummed.

Clark smiled as he turned to face Jason, not that he could see him in the dark, but he could feel him. He knew Jason was facing him too because he could feel the hot breath on his lips. He slid an arm around Jason’s waist, letting it lay limply. Jason’s own hand settled on Clark’s chest, bunching up the material of his shirt.

“I like you a lot, you know,” Jason murmured.

“I like you a lot too,” Clark said.

Jason let out a tiny laugh before Clark felt his lips gently touch his cheek and ghost along closer towards his lips, as if he were searching for them. Their lips finally pressed together in a lazy kiss. That was fine for Clark. Any more enthusiasm and he might have just given up on all common sense and let Jason do whatever he wanted to him. He knew they had to talk before that though.

The two of them stayed there, giving and receiving the sweetest of drunken kisses before they finally fell asleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the read!! The next chapter definitely won't take as long to go up, I can promise you that!!!!


	12. I like holding you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 11 recap: Clark and Jason decided to go on their very first date which was also their senior prom. The date started out awkward at first because neither of them knew how to act around each other and both were overthinking it, but after heading to the clubs in the city and getting some alcohol in them, they both relaxed and had a good time, even if they cant remember everything that happened...

When Clark woke up a few short hours after he had gone to bed, the only thing he could focus on was how every inch of his body was aching. The pounding in his head alone was enough to make Clark swear to himself that he was never going to drink again, or, at least, for a few weeks. He knew what woke him up. It was the light from the open blinds that he had the mind to go over and close, but he didn’t want to get up.

He lay there, eyes snapped closed, as he thought back to the night before. He could barely remember anything after getting to the city. And Jason. So much Jason. With eyes still closed he reached around on the other side of the bed, only to feel nothing but empty space. He could smell Jason though. He could even feel the slightly hotter parts of his body where he was sure Jason had clung to before finally peeling himself off of him. He was gone though, and that was the only reason Clark made a move.

He sat up and shielded his eyes from the sun as he searched for his phone. He found it in the pocket of his pants. It was nine in the morning. _Nine_. What the fuck. Why was he awake? Why was Jason even awake? And why…why did he have a text from Justin?

Clark opened the text, finding an attachment and a text below. **‘Your boy throws a good punch’**, it read. The picture had Clark scratching his head in confusion. It was Justin, that much was clear. What wasn’t clear was why his cheek was swollen and bruised.

**I can’t remember shit**\- Clark.

He put the phone down and glanced around. Just as he suspected; water and two little white pills were on the bedside table. He mentally thanked Jason. It wasn’t like it was some unusually sweet gesture. Well, it was a sweet gesture, but Jason did this all the time. He was always up before him and always leaving him this, mostly because he got annoyed at Clark’s complaining. Clark took the pills and swallowed them, along with the entire glass of water.

Clark’s phone vibrated, making him quickly open the text out of sheer curiosity.

**‘Fuck mate, I didn’t realize you were that out of it. I guess I deserved the punch but I was a little tipsy myself. We ran into each other at a club and we were all hanging out and it was fine at first but I got a little jealous seeing you with him. I shouldn’t have kissed you like I did, love! I don’t blame him for getting physical although I don’t know why you’re with someone so violent…’ **– Justin.

What the _fuck_. Justin kissed him? Clark scrunched up his face in a grimace. No, he couldn’t have. He would have remembered. Surely Clark wouldn’t have kissed him back. What the fuck was going on? For a moment, Clark considered that maybe he couldn’t remember because his head was still a bit fucked since the whole Campbell incident. Maybe Jason would remember. Then again, Clark hoped he didn’t. If he _had_ drunkenly kissed Justin then maybe Jason not knowing would be for the best. He didn’t want to cause problems this early in their…whatever it is they were.

Clark didn’t reply to Justin. In fact, he deleted the text thread all together and shoved his phone into his pocket. All he wanted was to go back to sleep, but he could hear his friends outside, splashing about by the pool, and figured he might as well join them.

He begrudgingly got out of bed, feeling all stiff still in his tux which was half unbuttoned, along with his pants. He wondered if he and Jason hooked up last night, but he didn’t think so, otherwise he would be naked.

He headed downstairs, following the sounds coming from outside. Through the glass sliding door he noticed all the girls in the pool. Luke and Grizz were sitting on the side, legs in the water, while Jason was sprawled out on one of the pool lounges right by them. Why the _hell_ were they all awake so early? He and Jason could have still been snuggled in bed together, not outdoors, in the sunlight. And God, was the sunlight _bad_. Clark opened the door and stepped outside. The moment his face was hit with the ray of light he closed his eyes, covering them with his hand and groaning in pain.

“What the fuck is with the sun?” Clark muttered.

“Morning, Sunshine,” Jason spoke. Clark, half peering out between his fingers and half still trying to shield his eyes, followed that sound, heading over to them.

“Wow, you look like shit,” Grizz said as he got closer.

“Fuck you,” Clark murmured, “why is it so bright? What the fuck? Why are you all out here?”

“Because it’s a beautiful day,” Jason said. Clark was about to argue when Jason took his free hand and tugged him closer. Clark stumbled towards him before being pulled down onto the sun-lounge. Feeling like a bit of a ragdoll and having no energy to move by himself, he let Jason maneuver them so he was between Jason’s legs, his back to Jason’s chest. He rested his legs on the lounge and relaxed in Jason’s loose hold.

“Looks like some of you drank more than others,” Grizz said.

“I can’t remember a thing,” Clark muttered. His throat was scratchy and he needed more water, but also didn’t want to move.

“You and me both,” Jason said.

“You probably shouldn’t have had that much to drink, you know, ‘cause your head,” Grizz said, sounding like a bit of a know-it-all, and he was probably right. But, other than the hangover, Clark’s head felt fine.

“My head is fine. My kidney though? Probably not so much,” Clark said.

“Liver,” Jason whispered into Clark’s ear.

“What?”

“Alcohol affects your liver,” Jason told him.

Clark turned his head, looking up at him and expecting to see a ‘you’re an idiot’ expression, but instead only saw kind eyes and the slight upturn of his lips.

“Oh.”

“But, I mean…it probably affects your kidneys too. I ain’t a doctor,” Jason said.

Clark gave a little smile back and tilted his chin up, giving him a kiss. Jason kissed him back, although not deepening the kiss, and the moment Clark heard giggles, he stopped, facing forward again. He looked to the girls and it was obvious they had been watching them, and the moment he looked over they all acted as though they hadn’t been. The moment had Clark feeling a bit self-conscious, especially given the position they were sitting in.

“Everyone’s gonna think I’m the girl here,” Clark said quietly, for Jason’s ears only.

“Don’t be a fucking pussy,” Jason whispered back.

“Can we swap places?” Clark asked hopefully.

“Fuck you, I like holding you,” Jason said.

“I like holding _you_,” Clark argued.

“Do you want me to tell them all I’m the bottom? Because I will,” Jason offered.

“Go ahead,” Clark challenged with a smirk, even though Jason couldn’t see it. He was only joking, sure. He definitely didn’t expect him to actually do it.

“Hey guys,” Jason said louder, “I have an announcement to make.

“Wait I was kidd-“

“I’m the bottom in this relationship!” Jason announced, “thank you for listening.”

Clark’s face went bright red. It was one thing for them to all know they were hooking up, but did they have to know the details? Sure, Clark had confided in Grizz about man on man sex but that was just Grizz. Gwen was listening, for fuck’s sake.

“Yeah, right!” Gwen shouted from the pool.

“The fuck is that supposed to mean?” Clark argued.

“Clark…a top? No, no, no. I’ve been there and just, nope,” Gwen laughed.

“What the fuck, Gwen?!” Clark snapped. He got up, ready for an argument, only for Jason to pull him back down, and well, Clark really liked it there, so he stayed.

“See, that right there. Submissive as hell!” Gwen exclaimed.

“Gwen, shut up,” Grizz said to her with a roll of his eyes.

“Doesn’t matter if someone is submissive,” Becca spoke, “submissive people can be tops, right, Grizz?”

“Becca!”

“What?!” Becca defended, “I didn’t mean you and Sam! I mean…unless…”

“Conversation over,” Grizz demanded.

“Agreed,” Clark backed him up.

“Clark, a top,” Gwen snorted, “good one, Jase.”

“I will come over there and drown you,” Clark snapped at her.

“Relax,” Jason whispered in Clark’s ear. He followed it up with a gentle kiss, and the way it made him feel, how it calmed in in an instant, _really_ wasn’t helping with his argument about _not_ being submissive. He couldn’t help it though. He craved this. He craved affection and he rarely got it from Gwen when they were together and since then it felt like he had been battling for it and he finally got it, so yeah, he was like a god damn kitten finally being pet.

Grizz changed the topic and the group went off on a tangent, while Jason and Clark stayed quiet. Clark had been giving Jason the silent treatment for starting the conversation in the first place. It was kind of pointless though considering he didn’t move away from the kisses Jason was lazily leaving on his neck.

Clark idly played with Jason’s hands, weaving his fingers in and out of the spaces between his fingers. It was only when his eyes focused did he notice the purple color on his knuckles. He traced his thumb over the swelling. Shit, maybe what Justin said was true.

“I don’t know what I did,” Jason said, “it hurts like a bitch.”

“Did you get in a fight?” Clark asked, trying to jog his memory.

“Maybe,” he felt Jason shrug, “I don’t know.”

For a brief second Clark considered telling him about Justin’s text, but he didn’t want to start anything, so instead he brought Jason’s knuckles to his lips and kissed them softly.

“I can’t believe we drank so much we can’t remember. Who knows what shit we got up to,” Jason said.

“I’m never drinking that much again,” Clark said, “I feel like shit.”

“Wanna swim? Might wake us up a bit,” Jason suggested.

And yeah, the pool sounded like a great idea, because it was hot and while being cuddled was great and all, it was also making them sticky, sweaty and down-right gross. Clark untangled himself and stood up. He unbuttoned the remaining buttons on his shirt and let it fall to the ground.

“What the fuck?!” Jason practically shouted.

“What?” Clark went to turn back around to look at him, only for Jason, who was sitting on the edge of the chair, to lock onto Clark’s hips, making him stay there with his back to him.

“You fucking didn’t…” Jason trailed off. Clark was almost panicking, because what the fuck could Jason see that was making him freak out that Clark couldn’t see?

“What?!” Clark urged.

“What is it, Jase?” Luke asked.

Jason, hands still on Clark’s hips, forced him to turn around so his back was to the group.

“Look!” Jason shouted at them.

“Holy shit,” he heard Luke say.

Gwen began laughing like a hyena, and the others made sounds of surprise equal to Luke’s. And Clark? He was confused as all hell.

“You didn’t!” Gwen cackled, “oh my God, but you did! No fucking way!”

“What? What the fuck are you all looking at?” Clark asked as he spun around, trying to get a look at his back. No one was telling him what the hell was going on. They were all just laughing at him, and Jason was sitting there with wide eyes.

“Grizz!” Clark demanded desperately as he spun around to look at the only person who would probably give him a straightforward answer, “what are they laughing at?”

“Dude…” Grizz grinned, “you got a tattoo.”

Clark was bugging out. He got a tattoo? _When the fuck did he get a tattoo?_ He felt around on his back, and sure, he felt a bit tender. He hadn’t noticed before because everywhere else was aching.

“You got a tramp stamp!” Gwen squealed, “Of…of…oh god I can’t even say it.”

“What the fuck is it?” Clark asked impatiently, “is it a dick? It’s a dick isn’t it?”

“Some could say…” Helena teased.

“Wait, wait, wait,” Jason said quickly as he stood. He ripped off his shirt quicker than Clark had ever seen him do so, and then he spun around, revealing his back to the rest of them.

“Tell me I didn’t. Tell me I fucking didn’t,” Jason said.

But, he did. He had a tattoo. There it was, clear as day.

** _Clark. _ **

Right there, on his lower back, right above his ass, and cursive writing was Clark’s own fucking name.

“No way…” Clark whispered. He bent down, touching it, examining it to see if it was real. It was. He had a fresh tattoo of Clark’s name, and in that moment, it all clicked.

“Wait a fucking minute,” Clark said, “does mine say _Jason_?”

Gwen honked with laughter and the others were snickering, at least trying to contain themselves while the two of them freaked out.

“Did we seriously get each other’s names tattooed on us?” Jason asked, looking at Clark and to the rest of the group.

“You seriously did,” Grizz confirmed.

“That’s just great,” Jason said sarcastically, “so next time I hook up with a chick they’re gonna see _Clark’s_ name there.”

And fuck. Fuck that hurt. Clark went quiet, not seeing the funny side of the tattoos and not freaking out about it either. In Clark’s mind, yeah, getting a tattoo of someone else’s name was dumb as shit. He’d laugh about it later though. It would be a good story to tell. It didn’t really matter in that moment because to him, Jason was the only one that would really see it anyway, unless he was taking his shirt off in public to go swimming, but who care who saw? Clark didn’t. But Jason? Jason was thinking about what the next girl he hooked up with would think. He clearly didn’t realize what he said, or maybe he did. Maybe he wasn’t serious about this and had already made up his mind that it was a friends thing still.

Clark looked to his friends. They _all_ noticed what Jason said. All of them. Gwen wasn’t even laughing anymore, and Clark felt put under a spotlight. He wanted to brush it off, so he did.

“I’m gonna go find a mirror to check this out,” he said dismissively and then left the group. He headed back inside and went into the downstairs bathroom. He shut and locked the door, taking in a few deep breaths. He didn’t understand his emotions sometimes and why he let them get to him so much. He was supposed to be a man, right? He wasn’t supposed to get upset about some stupid comment made by a guy who never actually told him that he wanted to even be with him. Jason didn’t owe him anything.

The tattoo. Clark turned, back facing the mirror. He looked back at himself. Yeah, there it was. **_Jason_**. He knew what he and Jason must have been thinking last night; how funny it would be to get each other’s names tattooed on each other, but after what Jason said out there, Clark was five seconds away from googling tattoo removing.

A knock on the door made Clark jump. He looked to it, wanting whoever it was to go away.

“Clark?” it was Jason.

Clark took another deep breath and threw on a smile as he opened the door, seeing, of course, Jason standing there.

“God, we’re fucking morons, aren’t we?” Clark said with a fake laugh that Jason saw right through. He wasn’t smiling at all.

“The others have actually informed me that _I’m_ the fucking moron here,” Jason said.

“Why? Was the tattoo your idea?” Clark asked.

“No, well, maybe, I don’t know. But…I’m talking about what I said out there,” Jason said.

“What’d you say?” Clark continued playing dumb, only Jason saw right through that too as he tilted his head to the side, eyebrows raised, waiting for Clark to break the act.

Clark sighed, “listen, if you wanna go hook up with girls, have at it. It’s whatever.”

“I don’t want to hook up with girls. That…what I said…it was like a force of habit. My brain hasn’t caught up to being with you yet,” Jason said.

“Do you want to be with me?” Clark asked.

“Last night…even if I can’t remember it…was fun. I mean it started off as a bit of a disaster but I’m not gonna quit giving this dating thing a shot that easily,” Jason said in determination.

“So…what…you wanna keep going?” Clark asked.

“Yeah, I do,” Jason nodded, and Clark could tell he was being sincere.

Clark sighed again, feeling a bit of relief but also exhaustion. “I’m just so tired.”

“You wanna head home?” he asked.

“Do you?”

“And get you alone, all to myself? You bet I do,” Jason said with a smile.

“Can we go to yours?” Clark asked, because Jason’s parents knew about him and his sexuality. They wouldn’t question Clark being there. Clark’s parents didn’t know yet. Jason nodded before he stepped forward. He took Clark’s face in his hands and pressed their lips together.

“I’m sorry,” Jason said against his lips, kissing them lightly again, “really, I am.”

Clark nodded, kissing him again. He wondered if he would ever feel secure with Jason. He wondered if things would always be so up in the air. He wondered if they would have to be married and living together for Clark to finally realize that it was okay, and Jason wasn’t going anywhere. Until then, he’d probably continue wondering.

The two of them left the bathroom and went back out to their friends. They told them they were leaving and soon found themselves walking to Jason’s place. It wasn’t really that far away, and the others probably all had alcohol still in their system and couldn’t drive, except for Grizz, but Jason had rejected his offer and opted to walk instead.

So, there they were, holding hands as they walked down the street in their disheveled tux’s and Clark didn’t even know where his tie went. It didn’t really matter. He would probably never wear the outfit again.

“I can’t believe we got each other’s fucking names tattooed on us,” Jason said.

“I know right. We’re kind of really stupid,” Clark said. His mom was going to kill him if she ever found out.

“Are you mad?” Jason asked. Clark noticed him glance at him out of the corner of his eye.

“Hmm, no,” Clark shook his head, “I think it’s kind of funny.”

“You wanna get it removed?” Jason asked.

“Do you?” Clark shot back.

“Not really. It’s so fucking painful to,” Jason said.

“Is it?”

“Yeah, they like, fucking burn it off with a laser,” Jason said.

“Well, shit.”

Nothing more was spoken of the topic. Clark was 99.9% sure he was in love with Jason, so having his name on him was no problem. If things didn’t work out with them though, then there might just be a problem. Until then, he was fine with the tattoo.

“Look at me, voluntarily holding your hand,” Jason teased, winking at him.

“Uhm…pretty sure _I_ held _your_ hand,” Clark countered.

“Sounds like a lie to me.”

“Shut up,” Clark went to pull his hand away but Jason only held it tighter.

It was nice, strolling along their neighborhood, holding hands. There was no one really out and about, but Clark didn’t really care too much if there were people around. Sure, he’d like to get to his parents first and tell them, but he knew it probably wouldn’t be the end of the world if they accidentally found out. He didn’t even know what he would tell his parents. Would he say he had a boyfriend? Was that what they were? No, they weren’t. They weren’t boyfriends until Jason decided it was what he wanted and told Clark so.

How had their relationship gotten this complicated? There had been a huge shift from friends, to fuck buddies, to barely talking, back to friends and then to this, whatever this was.

“This is kind of weird, isn’t it?” Clark asked, wondering if Jason had the same thoughts.

“What is?”

“Us. Like, we used to be, like…bros. Bro this, dude that. Fist bumps. High fives. Tackling each other for fun,” Clark tried putting his thoughts into words, but he knew he probably sounded like an idiot.

“I can still tackle you if you want,” Jason offered.

“That’s not what I meant. I just meant like…fucking around like friends,” Clark said.

“We’re still friends, it’s just…if you want more then it’s going to be different…at least at the start,” Jason said.

Clark nodded. It was bittersweet, really. He’d probably never have the casual sort of friendship he once shared with Jason. In a huge way he was okay with that. He wanted more than friends, so much more, but also missed the simplicity of friendship.

“What would you rather,” Jason began, “a high five or a handjob?”

Clark snorted in laughter, “you’re a fucking idiot.”

“I’ll high five you _after_ a handjob, if you want,” Jason said.

“Stop making fun of me, asshole,” Clark said, but he couldn’t keep the smile off his face. 

“Stop being so easy to be made fun of,” Jason tugged him closer and placed a quick kiss on his cheek before they kept on walking down the street.

They got to Jason’s house in no time at all. They headed in, going straight for the stairs, only before they could get to them, a voice stopped them.

“Jason?” it was Cindy, Jason’s mom.

They stopped in their tracks. They were hand in hand and it only took Clark half a second to realize that before snatching his hand back from Jason.

“Hey,” Jason said, not a bother in the world.

“Big night?” Cindy asked.

“Yeah, kinda. We’re really tired though so probably just gonna nap the rest of the day,” Jason said.

She nodded slowly, her eyes flicking back and forth between the two of them before she looked to her husband, Carlos. Clark was sweating. What did they think of them?

Carlos sighed heavily, “really, boys?”

“What?” Jason asked.

“You’re together?” he asked in annoyance. Clark looked to Jason who didn’t seem the least bit fazed.

“So what if we are?” Jason asked in confusion.

“So!” Carlos threw his hands up in frustration, “now I owe your mom fifty bucks, and your brother twenty.”

Clark stilled. What the hell was going on?

“Wait, you’re betting on us?” Jason asked.

“Correction, he bet _against_ you,” Cindy interjected.

“What?” Carlos defended, “I thought they were just _close_. You know, like, homies.”

“Dad, don’t ever say homies again. You guys are embarrassing. C’mon, Clark,” Jason took his hand again, tugging on it, but Clark stayed put, staring at the two still on the living room couch.

“Wait, uh…don’t, like…uhm…I’m gonna tell my parents but, uh…just let me get to them first?” Clark asked. It was ridiculous that he had to. He was eighteen. An adult. He should have already told his parents, really.

“Sure, sweetie,” Cindy nodded.

The impatient Jason yanked on Clark’s hand again, pulling him out of view of his parents. They headed upstairs, Clark’s heart pounding a little faster than usual, but all in all that went pretty well.

“You alright?” Jason asked once they were alone in the upstairs hall. Or, at least Clark assumed they were alone. He was sure Jason’s siblings were around somewhere.

“Yeah, I’m good,” Clark nodded.

“Cool, uh, I’m gonna shower. I’d ask you to join but I feel fucking weird now with my parents knowing,” Jason said, and Clark nodded again. He understood that.

Jason kissed him quickly before heading off to the shower, and Clark went into his room and sat on the bed. It was kind of funny how just the day before Clark practically had to beg for Jason to act like a couple or show any sign of affection, and today he was giving it out left, right and center. He must have paid attention.

As he waited for Jason, Clark took his phone out, seeing that he once again had a couple of texts from Justin.

**Hope you’re not mad, Love. We should catch up sometime.** – Justin.

**Clark?** – Justin.

Clark didn’t answer. He closed out of the messages and set his phone on the bedside table. He only had to wait a couple of minutes before Jason was walking through the bedroom door. With only a towel around his hips. Dripping with water. Jesus, had he been working out more lately? _Fuck_. Clark’s entire face heated as he was caught blatantly checking him out.

“You are _so_ gay,” Jason teased.

“Fuck you, you’re gay,” Clark shot back.

Jason raised his eyebrows, giving him a smirk before dropping his towel, with absolutely no regard for the fact that the door was wide open and he lived with two parents, and older brother and two younger sisters.

“I’m gonna shower,” Clark said as he stood and went over to him, “can I borrow some clothes?”

“I rather you wear nothing,” Jason said, but still picked out a pair of shorts and handed them to him.

“Thanks.”

“Hurry back.”

Clark left the room, heading to the shower. And fuck, it was the best shower he had ever had. Well, the best shower he ever had by himself. There was something about showering after a big night out, washing your hair, brushing your teeth and changing into clean clothes that made you feel like a brand new person, and that was exactly how Clark felt as he headed back down the hall to Jason’s room; tired, but refreshed.

When he stepped back into Jason’s room, he couldn’t see him. Shrugging to himself, he swung the door shut as he stepped inside, figuring he was downstairs or something. He was wrong. Not a moment after he stepped into the middle of the room, Clark was being tackled, luckily right onto the bed. Jason’s deep chuckle resonated right in his ear as he tried to catch his bearings.

“Dude!” Clark complained at the impact. He shuffled onto his back, staring up at the smiling assassin.

“You said you wanted me to tackle you, _bro_,” Jason said with a wink.

“You’re just making fun of me now,” Clark grumbled.

He went to get up but Jason pushed him right back down. He lowered himself and all Clark could do was watch Jason’s lips get closer and closer before they pressed against his. He closed his eyes, breathing Jason in. He was sure they kissed last night, probably, but this still felt like the first time in a while.

Jason’s lips parted slightly as he flicked his tongue out along Clark’s bottom one. There were a lot of thoughts running around Clark’s head; things he had been pondering earlier that morning, and in the shower, right in the back of his mind. Things about sex. About how far he wanted to go with Jason in that moment. Kissing was okay. Kissing was fucking amazing. Clark let Jason in; their tongues tasting each other before their lips would melt together again.

Jason’s shirtless body mere inches away from his own warmed him, but at the same time was sending shivers through him. The moment he knew Jason wanted more than a quick make-out session was the moment those inches between them disappeared and instead he could feel Jason’s semi-hard dick against his thigh.

The thing was, Clark didn’t want to go any further than kissing. That was a half lie. He wanted it. He really fucking wanted it. His body was telling that story for itself, but his head wasn’t in it. He head was screaming at him that they were so close to falling back into their ‘friends with benefits’ habits. He didn’t want that. He didn’t want it to be just sex. He didn’t want Jason to be with him because he liked hooking up with him only to later figure out he doesn’t actually have feelings.

Jason’s hands were wandering, going from Clark’s hair, which he had been idly playing with, down to his chest, gliding along his torso before brushing along his hip and finally gripping the back of his thigh as he rolled his hips against him. Clark let out a whimper. This was going to be harder than he thought. He turned his head out of this kiss, only for Jason to go straight to his neck, kissing and sucking on it.

Maybe they could hook up just this one time. Clark _really_ wanted to. He was so frustrated in so many ways. He was going to hate himself for this decision, momentarily at least, and Jason probably would too. Miraculously, his head won over his dick.

“Jase…I’m…kind of really tired,” Clark said.

“Sleep after,” Jason murmured into his ear before nibbling on it. He was making this really hard.

“And your family is downstairs and probably…probably upstairs too. I don’t think we should,” Clark said.

“Door’s locked. We can be quiet,” Jason said. His hand was coming around from his thigh, getting closer and Clark almost gave in. Almost.

“No.”

At the sound of the word, Jason realized Clark was being serious. He pulled back, looking down at him.

“Okay, that’s fine,” Jason nodded, looking into Clark’s eyes, “is there something else going on?”

Clark shook his head, no. Jason tilted his head to the side and gave him his best ‘I don’t believe you’ look. Clark sighed, deciding it was best to let him know what was on his mind instead of letting him think he didn’t want him.

“I don’t want this to be friends with benefits again,” Clark admitted.

“It’s not.”

“Feels like it could go that way…” Clark said.

Jason gave him a small smile before pecking his nose and rolling off of him. Jason lay on his side, facing Clark. Clark, feeling a bit guilty, rolled over to face him too. Jason ran his fingers through Clark’s hair before settling his hand on his neck.

“I like you,” Jason said, “if we fooled around it’d be because of that.”

“I just want to make sure you’re actually into me and not just…”

“Not just what? Want you for how good you are in bed?” Jason said with a sly grin.

Clark rolled his eyes but laughed, “I’m not saying it’s forever. Hell, it might not even be a week but…I just wanna wait until you’re sure you wanna be with me.”

Jason looked a little confused, his eyebrows furrowing into a frown as he took a moment to think about what Clark said. In the end, he relaxed, letting out a deep breath. “I’m tired. I can’t even think straight.”

“That’s ‘cause you’re gay,” Clark teased.

“You’re gayer.”

“Nope.”

“Mhm, you have emotions and shit. Gay,” Jason said.

“Like you don’t.”

“Nope. I’m a robot.”

Fatigue was beginning to overcome them again. Clark could see it in Jason’s eyes, and he was sure his own mirrored them.

“Are you mad?” Clark asked.

“I’m horny,” Jason said with a grin.

“I’m sorry.”

Jason shrugged, “you wanna be big spoon or little?”

“Big.”

Jason didn’t say anything. He shifted onto his other side and grabbed Clark’s hand, making him move closer and hook his arm across Jason’s chest. Clark placed his lips on the back of Jason’s neck, giving him a kiss before resting his head on the pillow. Clark knew he was being difficult. He knew he was a lot more high maintenance than he ever thought he would or could be, but with things between himself and Jason always so up in the air, he had to form some sort of structure and hope for the best.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!! There's probably only one or two chapters left because...I don't really know what I'm doing with the story lmao.


	13. Good game, bro

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I only updated like yesterday but I'm on a roll!!
> 
> Chapter 12 recap: Jason and Clark woke after their drunken night of fun but couldn't remember anything. Clark got a text from Justin saying Jason had punched him in the face sometime that night because Justin kissed Clark. Clark can't remember. Justin clearly wants to see Clark again but Clark is ignoring his texts. Clark and Jason were being cute as heck cuddling and being all coupley and it was nice. BUT Clark doesn't want any sex because he doesn't want them to slip back into their "bros with benefits" ways again. 
> 
> CHAPTER WARNING: S E X U A L CONTENT

Clark sat at the living room table with his parents directly across from him. He was dressed in his graduation gown, his cap lost after Jason had taken it from him, tossed it somewhere and screamed “fuck school!” after they were released from graduation. The plan had been to go and hang out with his friends and celebrate their new-found freedom, but his parents requested Clark come home because they had to talk to him.

Clark hadn’t told them yet about himself and Jason, and he was certain they asked him to talk because they knew. They had to, right? They would be blind not to see it. Then again, they didn’t really have a reason to think he was anything but straight, right? He dated Gwen for a long time. They liked her. They mentioned a few times in the past whether he was going to get back together with her. They knew he liked girls, but didn’t know he liked guys too.

“We are so proud of you, Clark,” his mom said. Clark let out a breath he had been holding. That was as good start.

“We honestly had our doubts about whether you would get to this point,” his dad said, “but your mom is right, we are so proud of you for graduating.”

“Thanks,” Clark said, feeling chuffed.

“We have a gift for you that we’ve been saving up for for a while now. We want to help you get on your feet as an adult,” his mom said, her grin widening. Clark wondered what it could be. They had already been so generous in giving him a car when he got his licence. What else could it possibly be?

His dad took something out of his pocket; a key. He placed it on the table in front of Clark. Clark picked it up, examining it. It looked like any other regular key.

“What’s this?” Clark asked.

“It’s a key to an apartment in the city close to college. We’ve been saving up and while we haven’t actually bought the apartment, we’ve paid for the first year of rent,” his mom said.

“That’ll give you more than enough time to find a job and start saving up a little to pay rent yourself,” his dad said.

Clark couldn’t believe it. He hadn’t thought too much ahead to college. He assumed he would either stay at home and just commute, or get a share house with some friends, maybe Jason. He didn’t really know but he thought he had a couple of months to think about that. This, this was huge. He felt as though they were giving him this grand gift and, there he was, keeping a secret from them; a secret that might change their opinion on him or whether they’d want to give him this gift. It was now or never. _Just say it_.

“I’m dating Jason,” he blurted out.

It was so quiet, you could hear a pin drop. Clark bit down hard on the inside of his cheek. That wasn’t how he planned the conversation out in his head. He stared at his parents, his eyes flicking back and forth between both of them.

His dad cleared his throat, leaning forward, “are you gay?”

“No. I like…I like both…um…I like…just…people…anyone…just Jase, I don’t know, fuck,” Clark stuttered out.

“Language, Clark,” his mom said with a warm smile.

Clark didn’t know why he was freaking out so much on the inside. He didn’t see any anger or disgust on their faces, but he still felt his eyes well up with tears, and he _still_ didn’t know why, because he knew this wasn’t really a big deal, right? His parents weren’t the type of people to make a big deal out of this.

“I’m sorry,” Clark said, not sure what he was apologizing for.

“Hey, hey,” his dad spoke before he got off his chair with a loud screech and came around to Clark’s side of the table. He sat down next to him, placing his hand on his shoulder. “It’s okay. And Jason’s a good kid. You could do worse.”

“Better than that Gwen,” his mom added.

“I thought you liked Gwen,” Clark said as he wiped a stupid fucking tear from his cheek.

“Eh,” his mom shrugged.

Clark took in a deep breath, sniffling. He wiped his eyes again, calming himself down. He laughed at how ridiculous he was being.

“I knew you guys wouldn’t be mad. I don’t know why I’m freaking out,” Clark said.

“Did you really think we’d be anything but supportive?” his mom asked.

Clark shrugged, “no, not really. It was just…you know what Grizz’s dad did to him, right? I just…I mean I know you wouldn’t but, it’s still in the back of my head.”

“We’d never do that to you,” his dad said, squeezing his shoulder. Clark knew that. Really, he did.

“I know. And thanks,” Clark said, holding up the key, “for this. This is insane. I can’t believe you guys did this.”

“We just want to give you the best head start at life. You can even ask Jason to move in with you, if you want,” his mom said.

Move in? Clark liked the idea of that, but he didn’t know whether he liked the idea of his friend moving in with him, or if it was such a good idea for his maybe-boyfriend to move in. He decided not to ask straight away and instead wait until the time was right.

“I’m gonna pay you guys back for this, when I can,” Clark said.

“Don’t even worry,” his dad said, “just get a job and try your best in college. That’s all we ask.”

Getting a job was easy. He already had it lined up. Jason’s eldest brother, Danny, had a hardware store in the city, and he had a couple of vacancies, and that’s where both Clark and Jason came in. A job was a job and if Clark was going to be living on his own then he needed it.

“Thanks, Dad. I’ll try my best. Promise,” Clark said. He turned to his dad, engulfing him in a tight hug.

“I know you will, Bud,” his dad said, clapping him on the back. Clark pulled away and went over to his mom. She stood up, wrapping her arms around him.

“Congratulations on graduating, Sweetie. I know you’re gonna make us proud,” she told him, and Clark could only hope that after this amazing gift that he could do just that.

\---

It had been a long day. A really long day. Two weeks after graduation and Clark was finally able to move into his new apartment. Grizz, Luke and Jason had helped him move his belongings from his parent’s house to the second floor apartment. From there, it was building up flatpacks so he had some kind of furniture. Mostly the hard part was lugging everything upstairs.

The place had been a mess by the time Luke and Grizz eventually left. There were boxes everywhere waiting to be unpacked, scattered around the tiny living room. Clark didn’t mind that it was a small apartment. The living room was only big enough for a two-seater couch and TV that Clark was yet to get. It had one bedroom, one bathroom, and a kitchen that was basically in the living room. It was good enough for him though.

Jason stayed that night after dark, after the other two had left, so he could help. First thing was setting up Clark’s room. Jason had neatly folded all of Clark’s clothes, placing them in each drawer, which Clark insisted it was a waste of time because the second he needed to look for something everything would end up a mess anyway. While he was doing that, Clark focused on putting up posters of his favorite movies and a few bands Jason told him about because he hated having bare walls and was already feeling homesick. Making the room look like his one back in town helped.

“Not bad,” Jason spoke from his spot on the floor. He had just finished blowing up an air mattress with a manual pump. Clark was planning on getting a real bed but it had proved to be too much effort to even think about getting a proper mattress or a frame up the stairs.

“Just needs pillows and blankets and it’ll be just like home,” Clark said. He was at the desk Grizz had so easily put together, and he was going about filling the drawers with all the junk he thought had been important at the time of emptying out his own desk drawers back home.

“We brought those, didn’t we?” Jason pondered as he leapt up from the floor, “I swear I saw Luke carrying them up.” He jogged from the room and a few seconds later came back with the two pillows, a sheet and a blanket. He threw the pillows at one end before covering the rest of the mattress with the sheet and blanket.

“Voilà. A perfectly made bed for a prince,” Jason said.

“Thanks,” Clark laughed.

“You’re welcome. I think we’re pretty much done in here. Should we unpack the two items your brought for the kitchen?” Jason teased.

“Shut up, it’s not like I own dinner plates and shit. Adulting is harder than you think,” Clark argued.

Jason snorted, “whatever. You know you’ll probably have take-out every night anyway.”

He walked past, heading out of the room and into the living room and kitchen. Clark followed him, watching as he picked up a box and placed it on the kitchen counter. It was getting kind of late, and Clark was really glad Jason was there because he’d probably feel all sorts of lonely being by himself.

“It’s really quiet. Kind of spooky,” Clark said.

“Good thing I’m staying the night then, huh?” Jason said with a grin.

Clark looked at him as he chewed on his bottom lip. He had been contemplating something during the past couple of weeks. He knew that if it felt right, he would ask Jason. In that moment, it felt right. Clark didn’t want to live alone and the mere idea of Jason going home just seemed dumb to him.

“You can stay every night if you want,” Clark offered.

“I probably will. You just can’t get enough of me,” Jason joked. He didn’t get it.

Clark went over to the couch and picked up his keys he remembered throwing there. He had two keys for the apartment. One of them he took off the ring and turned back to Jason.

“Catch,” he said.

Jason turned, and as he did, Clark threw the key to him. Jason caught it effortlessly and studied it, as if he needed some kind of explanation.

“I, uhm…” Clark cleared his throat, “I think there’s probably plenty of room in those drawers for your clothes too.”

Jason raised his eyebrows, maybe half in shock, half in curiosity.

“Are you asking me to move in with you?” Jason asked.

“Maybe.”

Jason stared at him with an expression that Clark couldn’t quite gauge. Fuck, it was weird, wasn’t it? Asking him to move in when they weren’t even sure what they meant to each other? Jason was going to say no. Clark was sure of it.

Jason placed the key on the counter and before Clark could even pretend to laugh it off as a joke, Jason went over to him and took his hand before leading him back into the bedroom. Clark stumbled by after him, at first not knowing what he was doing, but he was quick to catch up the moment he was forcefully pushed onto the air mattress.

“Is that a yes?” Clark asked.

Jason smirked as he knelt between Clark’s thighs. He nodded before lowering himself to him. He captured his lips in a needy kiss that was so unlike what they had been doing for the past few weeks. The innocence was gone. The urgency of needing _more_ was there, clear as day. Clark’s resolve had been slipping day by day and even though he had been holding out on sex, waiting for Jason to make his decision on whether they were a couple or not, Clark had made his own decision.

He had Jason alone, truly alone, in _their_ own little apartment, and he wanted them. Jason had had enough time to think about the two of them without having sex in the way to cloud his judgement. All Clark had to do was wait for him to tell him he wanted to be his boyfriend. In that moment though, it didn’t matter, because the way Jason’s body was pressed to his had Clark’s brain and all the little thoughts of doubt slipping away.

Clark ran his fingers through Jason’s hair, tangling them in the strands in an effort to keep him close, in an effort to say, without actually saying it, that he wanted this, that he didn’t want to hold off anymore. Jason responded in kind, going straight for Clark’s belt. He undid it at lightning speed. _Oh_, so it was like that, was it? Straight to the point.

Jason pulled back, looking down at Clark before he went any further. A silent question was in his eyes, one that Clark nodded vigorously as his answer. Jason grinned as he tore off his shirt, throwing it to the side. Clark scrambled up of his back and swiftly took his shirt off, throwing it with Jason’s. He leant in against the man, kissing his chest, his neck, any inch of skin he could get his lips on.

“I’m gonna need you to fuck me in _every_ room of this apartment _tonight_. Starting with this one,” Jason said.

“You’re the boss,” Clark murmured against his skin.

“Is that a new kink?” Jason teased.

“What?” Clark looked at him, “no.”

“_I’m_ the boss, huh?” Jason grinned. He pushed Clark back down to mattress. Clark went to get up because that wasn’t what he meant at all, but Jason took his wrists, pinning them against the sheets and, okay, maybe Clark was a little into it.

Their lips melded together again, feeling wet and hot as their tongues got in on the action. Clark tried to free his wrists. He wanted to touch Jason, but Jason was rolling with Clark’s stupid little comment, and well, Clark was going to let him. For now.

Jason rolled his hips down against Clark’s, their bulges pressing together. It didn’t take much for Clark to get turned on these days, especially when he had Jason at the ready whenever he wanted but he didn’t take that opportunity. And now? He wasn’t sure if he had the patience for foreplay. And neither did Jason. He pushed himself up and completely off of Clark, rolling onto the mattress beside him.

“Tell me you packed lube,” Jason said.

“In the box labelled ‘important’,” Clark laughed. He got up and raced out of the room. He found the box in record speed, getting the lube and condoms. _Multiple_ condoms because after weeks of wanting Jason and having a ridiculous amount of restraint, Clark would be damned if they were only going to do it once.

When Clark got back to Jason, he was laying there, in the middle of the air mattress, completely naked, hands behind the back of his head. Clark had only paused for a moment, but it was a moment too long. Jason noticed, boosting his ego, no doubt, as he smirked up at Clark.

“Fuck I’ve missed this,” Clark admitted.

“You and me both. I’m horny like 24/7 around you,” Jason said. He let one hand drop to his crotch as he fondled himself. Clark could’ve come right then and there in his pants.

“Roll over,” Clark demanded.

“What, no foreplay?” Jason asked, but he did as he was told anyway. He rolled over, revealing his back, and Clark saw the tattoo of his name there for the first time since they had gotten it done. It was a turn on, honestly, seeing his name tattooed onto Jason’s skin.

“I don’t think I’ll last,” Clark said.

“Same.”

Clark stripped down out of his pants and underwear. Jason turned his head, catching a glimpse and not bothering to hide that he was checking him out.

“You know I’ve had to rely on dildos without you,” Jason admitted.

“Don’t,” Clark warned as the images flashed through his mind.

“What? It’s the truth. You’ve been killing me lately,” Jason said. Clark had to feel just a little guilty about that. The amount of times they’d have a make-out session and they’d both stop with massive hard-ons was practically cruelty. Clark had hoped Jason would have made up his mind sooner, but he hadn’t, and now Clark had run out of patience.

“The tattoo is really fucking hot, now that I think about it,” Clark said as he got back on the mattress. He hovered above Jason, one knee between his thighs. He ran his fingertips over the ink.

“You’re making me jealous,” Jason said.

“Why?”

“You can fuck me while looking at the tattoo,” Jason said, “must be pretty hot.”

Clark knew what he was hinting at; that Jason would like the tables turned, even if he wouldn’t say it so straightforward like that, and Clark could hear the joking tone in his voice.

“You just gonna stare at me or are you gonna get this show on the road?” Jason asked.

“You’re so bossy,” Clark frowned.

“And you love that, apparently,” Jason teased.

“Shut up.”

Clark flicked open the cap of the lube and covered his fingers with the slippery liquid. He traced his index finger around Jason’s entrance before pushing one finger in. Jason had always been so responsive to this. He arched his back, pushing himself closer to Clark, and it made Clark wonder what was so good about having something inside him, because the one time Clark tried it, it hurt, it was uncomfortable, and he hated it.

Clark slipped another finger in, working them in and out of Jason. He dropped to the mattress, half his weight on Jason, half off. He kissed the back of his shoulder, ghosting his lips over everything he could touch. He went to Jason’s neck, biting it. Jason mewled, an inhumane sound that drove Clark a little crazy.

“Ugh fuck, Clark, you have no idea how good this feels,” Jason said, and ain’t that the truth.

“Let me know when you’re ready,” Clark said. He twisted his fingers in and out of Jason, adding a third one. Jason slowly rocked himself back and forth, grinding himself against the mattress. His panting picked up, coming out in shaky, raspy breaths.

“Okay,” Jason nodded, “I’m ready.”

Clark didn’t waste any time, because he was more than ready too. He took his fingers out of Jason and picked up a condom. He was hard as hell, and more ready than ever. He slid the condom on his cock before coating it with lube.

He so easily slid inside Jason. He didn’t mean to go quick. He was going to inch in slowly, like usual, but Jason pushed back on him, burying Clark deep inside.

“Ugh f-fuck,” Clark stuttered out when their thighs touched.

“Fuck me,” Jason pleaded.

Clark nodded, not that Jason could see. He took a deep breath in a desperate attempt to control himself and not come then and there, because Jason was so warm and tight and inviting and fuck, he was so close already.

Clark took Jason’s hips just as the man propped himself up on his hands and knees. It was awkward on the air mattress, hard to find their balance, but it didn’t stop them. Clark thrust in and out of Jason, slowly at first, but the second he heard him moan, he knew he had to hear it again and again.

“Harder, faster,” Jason demanded. Clark did as he was told, always taking Jason’s direction. He pounded into him, relishing in the sound of his grunting and moaning each time he went back in. It was hot. It was messy. It was needy and frantic. It was _perfect_.

“Fuck…” Jason groaned, “fuck, Clark. Touch me, please.”

Clark did as he was told once more. He reached around, not skipping a beat as he wrapped his hand around Jason’s hard cock and jerked him off. Jason collapsed, burying his face into the pillow. Clark noticed his hands tangling in the sheets, gripping it tightly as he whimpered. _How_ did it feel _that _good? Clark didn’t understand, but he wanted to. He wanted to know how Jason turned into such a moaning, begging mess every single time they did this.

“Don’t come yet,” Jason begged, “I’m so close, I’m so…fuck…Clark…”

Clark closed his eyes, because if he was going to wait for Jason then he couldn’t look at him like _that_. He couldn’t see himself sink inside him. He couldn’t look at the tattoo or the way his body arched. He could barely even handle the sounds he was making.

“Jase…hurry up,” Clark urged. He tugged on Jason harder, faster, burying himself in deeper. Jason trembled around him and it was that it was that exact moment that Clark knew he was on the brink.

“Oh my God, Clark…you have a magic fucking dick I swear to fuck, bro” Jason groaned. Stroking him faster, Clark felt the come spill from Jason. The man tensed, and the moment he did, Clark couldn’t hold back any longer. He pulled out of Jason, making him grunt, in pleasure or pain, Clark didn’t know. He tore the condom off. With one hand still wrapped around Jason’s cock, the other grasped his own. Not a second later and he was climaxing over Jason’s back. A rush of heat shot through his abdomen, and more than anything, it was a relief.

“Jesus,” Clark breathed out.

“Tell me about it,” Jason murmured, “I haven’t been fucked that good since, well, last time you fucked me.”

Clark let go of him and fell to the bed. He rolled onto his back and stared up at the ceiling, panting heavily. Jason flipped over, neither of them caring about the mess they were laying in. The sheets were fucked anyway.

“Good game, bro. High five,” Jason said, raising his hand. Clark snorted in laughter but high-fived him anyway.

“You’re a moron,” he said, looking at Jason. Jason grinned and leant in, pressing their lips together fleetingly before he pulled away.

“So I was thinking, you can do me over the counter in the kitchen, then I’ll ride you on the couch. Does that linen closet count as a room? Because I’m sure we can figure out something in there, and then we’ll do it in the shower to clean up, ‘kay?” Jason told him.

“Give me, like…five minutes,” Clark laughed.

“You have three and a half,” Jason said.

Clark couldn’t stop smiling. He had the overwhelming urge to tell Jason he loved him, which wouldn’t be a big secret. He had already alluded to that fact. But things were different and Clark was still a little scared. He still had his doubts. He didn’t want to screw up the night with talking though.

“We’re really moving in together. Are we fucking insane?” Clark asked.

“If doing _this_ all the time comes with moving in, then no. Not insane. Being insane would mean _not_ moving in together,” Jason said.

“Yeah, this is pretty good,” Clark nodded.

Jason sat up, slapping Clark on the thigh and declaring, “to the kitchen!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Just one chapter left! Let's wrap this up!!


	14. Bro, that's gay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Final chapter guys!!! Notes at the end!
> 
> CHAPTER WARNING: SEXUAL CONTENT
> 
> Chapter 13 recap: Clark graduated high school and also came out to his parents. They were cool about it. They also gave him an apartment with a years worth rent paid as a graduation gift. Jason helped him move in. And then Clark asked Jason to move in with him. He said yes in the form of sexy times because why not?

A couple of weeks into living in his new apartment with Jason, and things were going smoothly. They never argued. They never got bored of each other or sick or each other. They had _so much_ sex. Every morning. Every night. During the day if they were both home. And they didn’t have to worry about being quiet or someone walking in on them. They had their own space. They could do whatever they wanted, whenever they wanted.

There was one downfall; just one teeny tiny, itsy bitsy thing that threw a dampener on Clark’s day whenever he thought about it. They still hadn’t had ‘the talk’. The one where they established whether they were together, properly together, and not fooling round with each other casually. The one where Jason would decide if he was okay with being in a relationship with another guy or not. Clark was afraid to ask. He was afraid he would pop the bubble they had been living in and ruin everything. It was fine though, life just plodding along as it did. It was fine, until something happened one morning that sparked something in him.

He was working out in the gym closest to his apartment. Jason was at work. They worked, but Danny, Jason’s brother, had made a point of trying to make sure they didn’t have a lot of shifts together. Apparently the two of them did more horsing around than actual work. It was probably for the best. They worked together and lived together. They didn’t want to end up spending _too much_ time together, even though Clark didn’t think that was possible. He couldn’t get enough of Jason.

Clark left the gym, a sweaty mess, but it was only two blocks away from his apartment so he’d be in the shower in no time. Only, something stopped him. Not something, actually, but someone.

“Clark! Is that you?” the all too familiar British accent spoke.

Clark stopped in his tracks, eyes wide as he saw the blond walking towards him. It was Justin, his ex. Justin, who had been periodically texting Clark for the past few weeks. Justin, who Clark had either been ignoring or sending one to two word replies to. He should have ignored all the texts or told Justin to stop messaging him, but he didn’t. For some reason he wasn’t closing that door.

“Justin…wow, uh, hey. Long time no see,” Clark said. He glanced around. There was no way to escape without making himself look like a crazy person or incredibly rude.

“Tell me about it, Love. It was long enough for the bruise your boy gave me to heal,” Justin spoke as he got to him, a flash of a smile on his lips.

“Right…” Clark nodded and he wasn’t too sure if he should apologize or not. After all, he couldn’t remember that drunken night in the city. All he knew was that Justin kissed him and Jason punched him.

“Eh, water under the bridge,” Justin shrugged, “you, my friend, have been damn near impossible to get hold of.”

“What’d you follow me here or something?” Clark asked, only half joking.

“I’m not a psycho, Clark. Purely coincidence, I promise you. But since fate has had my back today, how ‘bout you say we go for that coffee I keep offering. My shout, of course,” Justin said.

Clark had been put on the spot. It was easy to dodge his advances when they were just texting, but Clark wasn’t a very good liar, especially when he had no time to prepare himself. He could have said he had to go to work. He could have just said no and not given an explanation. It wasn’t like he owed Justin anything. Instead, Clark froze up and did none of the above.

“Sure,” Clark nodded.

Fuck.

“There’s a good place nearby, just the next street over, c’mon,” he said. He nodded for Clark to follow, and like a zombie, Clark just went along with it.

It was so strange seeing Justin again. Other than that night in the club, the last time Clark had seen him, they were a couple. They had had sex, which was Clark’s first time bottoming, and he didn’t like it at all. He regretted it, in fact. He wasn’t completely opposed to bottoming. He just wished he had waited to do it with someone he trusted, not someone who was quick about it, who didn’t take any patience given the fact that it had been Clark’s first time.

Clark often found himself wishing he had waited to do it with Jason. Jason knew what he was doing in bed, like all the time. He was practically an expert and Clark knew that Jason cared. The two hadn’t spoken a whole lot about switching it up. It had always been Clark topping, and that was the way he preferred it, but sometimes, just _sometimes_, when Jason was on top of him, their bodies pressed together, Clark would find himself wondering what it would be like. He wondered if it were possible for him to try bottoming and actually _like_ it. He often considered asking Jason to do that with him, but never mustered up the courage. He was a little scared that it would hurt, which was the main reason he always backed down.

“Are you listening, Clark?” Justin asked.

Clark hadn’t been. He was in a bit of daze, feeling other-worldly as they entered the café together.

“Sorry,” Clark said simply.

“It’s okay. I was just asking about that gym you walked out of. A little bit out of your neighbourhood, isn’t it?” Justin asked.

“No, I actually moved in to an apartment nearby,” Clark said.

“No way, really?” Justin asked.

It only just registered how close they were to where Justin lived. He was only about four blocks away, so it really was just a coincidence that they ran into each other.

“Mhm, graduation present from my parents. Well, they’re renting it for me for now,” Clark said.

“Serious? That’s pretty cool of your parents,” he said.

“It is.”

Justin nodded in response as they got to the register and Justin ordered Clark’s usual for him before they both took a seat in the corner of the room.

“So, you’ve been ignoring my texts,” Justin said.

Jesus. Put on the spot again.

“Didn’t really know what to say,” Clark said.

“Right…right…I guess it is a bit awkward when your ex starts to text you,” Justin said.

“Especially when that ex broke up with you over the phone and deleted you from Facebook and Snapchat. Just a little awkward,” Clark pointed out. Perhaps there was a little bitterness in his tone. Justin had really hurt him, even if Clark had soon realized that the feelings weren’t that deep, especially compared to Jason.

“I’m a coward,” Justin admitted.

Clark didn’t say anything. He was right, he was a coward, but Clark had never broken up with anyone himself so he didn’t know how hard it was.

“I’ve missed hanging out with you,” Justin said.

Clark sighed, “what do you want, Justin? You broke up with me and now you text me non-stop.”

“It’s called showing an interest,” Justin said with his usual charming smile, “I get it though. I fucked up. I broke up with you because…well mostly it was because you were a high-schooler, and I’m in college. It was a little weird, but…it’s different now, you know?”

“So…” Clark pondered, “what happens when you finish college and I’m still in it. You’re not gonna wanna date some college kid, right?”

“You’re looking way too far into the future, Love. But no, high school and college are two very different things,” Justin said.

The waitress came to them in that moment, halting the conversation as she set down their drinks. At the same moment, Clark’s phone buzzed in his pocket. He took it out, seeing he had a snap from Jason. He opened it on reflex, seeing a picture of Jason with a pout, and a caption **_‘wish you were here_’. **

What the fuck was Clark doing? He was at a café with an ex who so obviously wanted him back. And that was it, wasn’t it? Justin wanted him. He laid it all out there within five minutes of seeing each other again. He was so straightforward, and Jason? Clark didn’t know. Jason didn’t talk about feelings. Jason hadn’t asked him to be his boyfriend. He didn’t say he loved him. There were on a trial, right? A trial that had lasted weeks and involved them pretty much getting back to where they began; just fucking.

Despite the huge grey area over his and Jason’s relationship, Clark knew it was wrong to be sitting there with Justin, even if he hadn’t planned it, even if he didn’t want to be there and had been put on the spot. Jason was sending him snaps saying he missed him, and Clark was with his ex.

“I can’t do this,” Clark said.

“You’re still with Jason?” Justin asked.

“Sort of.”

“_Sort of?”_ he mimicked.

“It’s complicated,” Clark said.

“Boys like Jason are,” Justin said.

“What do you mean?”

“Straight boys pretending to be gay,” Justin said.

Clark frowned, “he’s not…he’s…he’s bi.”

“Sure, maybe. But I know guys like him. Guys that just want to fuck around with guys while they’re young but they always go back to girls once they mature. Always,” Justin said.

Clark didn’t say anything. That had struck a nerve. Of course that was something Clark had thought about often. He never thought he was good enough, and with Jason having never been into dating guys, that only made Clark feel worse, like he couldn’t give Jason what he wanted, and maybe that was why Jason was yet to make their relationship official.

“I have to go,” Clark spoke and stood.

“Okay, but if you want a guy who knows what he wants, you know where to find me,” Justin said.

Clark stilled, taking a moment to think. Even taking Jason out of the equation, Clark had no real desire to be back with Justin. He liked him once upon a time, but not anymore, not after being dumped over the phone and not after being harassed when he knew perfectly well Clark was with someone else. He was trying to be a homewrecker and Clark didn’t appreciate that at all.

“Lose my number,” Clark told him, and then he was out of there.

\---

Clark stood at the kitchen bench, chopping up onions he needed to cook dinner that night. He and Jason had a bit of a routine. When they had shifts together, they’d often just get take-out on the way home, or have microwavable meals. When one of them had a day off though, like Clark had that day, then that person would be on dinner duty. Being out on his own away from his parents, Clark had learnt a lot of recipes and had become pretty good in the kitchen. That night, he was a little bit unfocused though.

He had been thinking of everything Justin said to him earlier. Two things mostly though; whether Jason would go back to girls the moment he grew up and got bored of him, and how Jason was yet to commit to any sort of real relationship. He was going around in circles in his head, making himself just a little bit dizzy.

When the front door opened, Clark froze mid-chop. He didn’t look up, worried that Jason would see something was wrong. He sighed, getting right back to chopping.

“Honey, I’m home!” Jason greeted him the same way he did every time he came home. “What is my lovely house-wife cooking me this evening?”

“I hate it when you call me that,” Clark grumbled.

“And yet that’s what you are. Don’t worry, I’m the house-wife tomorrow,” Jason said. He came up behind Clark and wrapped his arms around his torso as he pressed himself against him, pushing him up against the counter-top.

“Keep going. Don’t let me distract you,” Jason said, only he knew exactly what he was doing. Jason was, for some reason, always at his horniest the moment he came home from work after not seeing Clark all day. At least, that was the reason Jason always gave; that he missed Clark and had been thinking about him all day.

“How was work?” Clark asked.

“Boring as hell. If Danny doesn’t put us on all the same shifts soon, I’m gonna make a formal complaint,” Jason said.

Clark had to stop cutting the vegetables he had moved onto when Jason started kissing his neck and his hands began wandering. Clark closed his eyes, sighing deeply. He would have thought that after an entire day of doubts running through his head that having this kind of attention from Jason would have been good for him. Instead, he couldn’t dig himself out of the hole his brain had dug.

“How was your day?” Jason asked. He pressed himself harder against Clark, the growing bulge rubbing against his ass.

Clark grunted in response, shrugging slightly; avoiding the topic completely.

“That doesn’t sound good,” Jason said in his ear; his lips ghosting over his ear lobe, making Clark shiver.

“It was whatever,” Clark said absent-mindedly.

“I can take your mind off it,” Jason said. He grinded himself against Clark once more, gently taking his hips. It was when Jason did things like that which made Clark consider switching things up in the bedroom. Maybe if it were any other given day, Clark would consider suggesting that to Jason, but on that day, with the doubts still running through his mind, Clark wasn’t in the mood. He wasn’t in the right headspace to go along with what Jason wanted to do. And he was about to spill what was on his mind, all over the floor.

“Do you want to fuck me?” Clark asked.

Jason stopped moving. His lips stopped attacking Clark’s neck, and even though Clark couldn’t see him, he knew he was frowning.

“What?”

“Do you want to fuck me?” Clark asked again, “you know…like how you fuck girls. Like…top me.”

Jason reached around and took the knife from Clark’s hand, placing it on the counter before he made him turn around. The two faced each other, looking into the other’s eyes, and all Clark felt was confusion and guilt.

“I don’t care what we do in bed, as long as we’re doing it together,” Jason said.

“That’s not what I asked though,” Clark said, “I asked, do you _want_ to top me.”

Jason sighed, taking Clark’s hands in his, and then he nodded.

“Sure, okay yeah. It’d be…cool. I think about it a lot, but it’s not a dealbreaker. It’s not the be all end all. I’m perfectly happy with what we already do,” Jason said.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I‘m sure,” Jason nodded.

“Okay, but…do you think you’re missing out on girls? Am I…am I keeping you from that? Like…are you gonna wake up one day and be like…hey, I miss girls,” Clark asked. His heart stopped. It was one of his worse fears. And the funny thing was that Clark was bisexual too, and he knew that he only wanted Jason and he himself was perfectly fine with never being with a girl again, but it was almost incomprehensible for Jason to feel the same way, at least in Clark’s eyes.

Jason sighed, closing his eyes as he breathed in and out deeply, like he was trying to calm himself down. When he opened them again, he stared right into Clark’s eyes.

“I really wish you weren’t so…” he stopped, trailing off with a shake of his head.

“So… what?” Clark asked.

“Insecure.”

“Can you blame me?” Clark almost blurted out. Fuck, they were about to argue. Clark could feel it. Every unanswered question dangled about in his mind and was about to be dished out on a platter to Jason. 

“What do you mean?” Jason asked.

“I mean…I don’t know what you want. Some guys are so, like…clear, and then there’s you,” Clark said. Jason just looked confused.

“What are you talking about?” Jason asked.

Clark sighed. He had to come clean, otherwise Jason wouldn’t be able to understand where he was coming from. It all had to be laid out there. Clark was a little scared because Jason was a jealous guy and he didn’t want to do anything to upset him, but at the same time he was so damn frustrated not knowing where he stood. He needed answers.

“I ran into Justin today,” Clark said.

Jason raised his eyebrows in curiosity, “okay?”

“He’s been texting me the past few weeks but I’ve been ignoring him, so when we ran into each other he asked me out for coffee and I just…went with him,” Clark said. What he wasn’t expecting was the look of hurt that flashed through Jason’s eyes. Not jealousy, but hurt. He dropped Clark’s hands and took a step back.

“He wants to get back together with me. He made it really, _really_ clear,” Clark said, hoping Jason would get the point; that that’s what he wanted, what he needed, for someone to be clear with him. It wasn’t even about Justin anymore.

Jason narrowed his eyes in a glare, “are you…are you fucking kidding me?” he spat.

“Nothing happened, okay,” Clark backtracked quickly, “I told him to lose my number. It was fucking dumb to hang out with him anyway, and obviously if I had to choose between you and him, I’d choose you, but…I don’t know. It was just so weird having this guy who I haven’t even spoken to in months tell me he wants me, and then there’s you who…I don’t even know if you’re into this.”

“Clark, what the fuck?” Jason snapped, “what is going on here?”

“I just can’t do this anymore, not knowing. Always wondering when it’ll end or, or if you even like me more than a fuck buddy. I don’t know if you’ll ever want to be my boyfriend, and that’s all I’ve wanted from you for a long time,” Clark said, and it was so easy spilling all of his thoughts once he got started. It was like a weight had been lifted off his shoulders.

Jason stood there looking baffled. Completely baffled. Lost. Confused. And Clark wondered if he had explained it to him properly, and decided he had. He just wanted clarification of what they were to each other. He was terrified of the answer, that Jason would say he doesn’t like him like _that_, but he had to know.

“I can’t with you right now,” Jason finally spoke, shaking his head. He stepped away, heading out of the kitchen and to the bedroom door.

“Where are you going?” Clark asked.

Jason didn’t respond. He went into the bedroom and slammed the door shut. And Clark still didn’t have his answer. He went over to the door and tried opening it, but it was locked.

“Jason!” Clark called it.

“Fuck off!” Jason called back.

Clark knew better than to push it at that moment. Jason needed to cool off, and Clark needed to think. Abandoning the prospect of dinner, Clark went over to the couch, sitting on it, and was hit with the overwhelming feeling of having fucked up. He had laid everything out on the table, and at the time he didn’t think he was saying anything wrong. He was just letting Jason know of his feelings, but what if Jason didn’t want to know? What if he had ruined everything, just like he feared.

Clark felt like a child. He felt _stupid_, which was his least favorite thing to feel in the entire world. He didn’t know exactly why he felt that way. Maybe it was the way Jason looked at him, as if Clark was completely missing something. Or maybe it was because Clark always invested so much in people and they never felt the same way about him. That made him feel pretty damn foolish.

What if Jason didn’t want him anymore? What if Jason had just wanted the casual relationship they had been having for the past few weeks, and Clark had gone and complicated things. Why didn’t Jason just tell him that then? Jason hadn’t given him _anything_. He just walked away. And oh fuck. Was he packing his things? Was he deciding Clark, emotional Clark, was too much?

Clark was in love. He was head over heels. Not in the way he liked Grizz. Not even in the way he loved Gwen, or Justin. This was something different. This was out of this world, and he might have just fucked it up. Soon, Clark was crying. He was sitting there on the couch with his head in his hands crying because either Jason didn’t love him back, which was soul-crushing in itself, or he had just fucked everything even if Jason _did_ love him back.

Clark got up, rushing over to the bedroom door and knocking on it.

“I’m sorry! Jase…” Clark whined, “I’m fucking sorry. I take it back.” What he was taking back though, he didn’t know.

With his forehead to the door, he closed his eyes, listening for something, anything. Had Jason climbed out the window and down the fire-escape?

“Jason?” Clark asked through the door. He sobbed, hurting like he had never hurt before in his entire life. It really fucking hurt, and he was just plain scared. The idea of losing Jason hurt way more than losing any other person.

“I’m stupid, okay. I just…God…” Clark was frustrated. He tore himself away from the door at the exact moment Jason opened it. He looked at Clark in concern, and maybe even a bit of scepticism.

“Why are you crying?” Jason asked.

“Because…because you have no idea how I feel about you and how scared I am you’re just gonna go. I don’t know. I just can’t do this…” Clark shook his head. He could barely see through the pooled tears.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Jason sighed. Through the blurriness Jason saw him step forward before he took his hand. He led them both over to the couch. He made Clark sit down before he knelt before him. Jason reached out, wiping a few of the tears, and at that point Clark was just embarrassed.

“Sorry,” Clark apologized before closing his eyes. He covered his eyes with the palms of his hands, soaking up the liquid and willing himself to stop. Jason stayed there, waiting, until Clark had finally calmed himself down enough to drop his hands and look at him. There was no longer confusion or frustration on Jason’s face, just patience.

“We’re different,” Jason broke the silence. That didn’t sound good. He didn’t want to be different from Jason. He loved Jason. He wanted them to be the same.

“You…” Jason went on, “you need words. You need reassurance. I don’t. I should’ve known that, or realized that before we got to _this_. I show you how I feel by what I do. _You_ should’ve known that or realized that before we got to this.”

“So, what, you’re saying we don’t match?” Clark asked.

“No,” Jason said with a slight shake of his head, “I’m saying we need to learn how to read each other and communicate better because this right here is fucking ridiculous.”

“Just tell me if you want to be my boyfriend or not,” Clark said, not wanting to dance around it anymore.

“Clark…we live together. We go to bed together. We wake up together. We fuck and it _means_ something, and you can’t tell me that it doesn’t, because we both know that it does. We’re with each other all the time. We go on dates. We hold hands. We kiss. I _thought_ we already were boyfriends. I didn’t think I needed to say it,” Jason said. Clark frowned. Jason thought this whole time they were already boyfriends?

“I thought…I thought this was like a trial. Like…like you were, I don’t know, testing shit out to see if you wanted to date a guy,” Clark said.

“Yeah, I was, back at prom. And then you asked me if I wanted to keep this going. I said yes. You asked me to move in with you. I said yes. You told me no sex until I knew for sure about us, and hey presto, I had sex with you, Clark. Read between the lines!” he exclaimed.

Holy shit. He was right. Had Clark really been so insecure that he ignored all of that and let doubt take over his mind? The answer was yes.

“Oh,” was all Clark could say.

“Did you really think I still wasn’t sure?” he asked.

“I’m sorry, I’m stupid,” Clark muttered.

“No, stop that. Stop playing the stupid card because you aren’t stupid. You’re a fucking idiot, but you aren’t stupid,” Jason said.

“What the difference?” Clark asked.

Jason gave him a small smile, “one’s more adorable than the other.”

“You find _this_ adorable?” he gestured to himself, knowing he had just been the most embarrassing emotional wreck.

“I do,” Jason nodded.

Clark sighed, feeling like an idiot, just like Jason said. “I’m sorry. I just…need shit spelled out for me sometimes, you know?”

“You want me to spell it out, I will. We can make this official right now,” Jason said.

“I don’t want a marriage proposal,” Clark said.

Jason grinned and took Clark’s hand, looking him right in the eyes with the sincerest of looks, but the cheesiest of grins.

“Clark Beecher, I don’t wanna be your _bro_ anymore. Will you do me the honor of being my boyfriend?” Jason asked officially.

“I feel like such a girl,” Clark mumbled.

“That’s what you get for being a drama queen,” Jason teased.

Clark smiled back at him, feeling at ease. “Are we good?”

“Hmm…mostly. Just one more thing,” Jason said.

“Yeah?”

“I don’t want to be _that_ kind of boyfriend who controls who you see, but…if you see Justin again it’ll fucking kill me,” Jason admitted. Clark understood. He felt terrible for even bringing Justin up, and in a way, using him against Jason to start the argument.

“I won’t. I promise,” Clark said. 

“Thank you, boyfriend,” Jason said.

Clark grinned again, “You’re welcome, boyfriend.”

Clark leant forward, and he almost would have tipped over to the floor if it wasn’t for Jason’s waiting lips. They pressed together as Jason took Clark’s face in his hands. The two had a lot of tender moments with each other, but this one took the cake. This time, they were official. They were boyfriends and it was all Clark had ever wanted.

“For the record,” Jason said as he pulled back, “I don’t want to be with a girl. I won’t wake up one day and decide I want to settle with a girl. It’ll never happen. I want to be with _you_, and only you. You’re everything, Clark.”

Their foreheads touched, and for the first time in a while Clark felt as though he could breathe again. He could be happy. He could really let Jason in instead of being so scared all the time. Clark pressed their lips together again as a thought crossed his mind. He pulled back, looking at Jason.

“Can we try something?” Clark asked.

“Mm?”

“Can you…top…me?” Clark requested, feeling a little silly saying it.

Jason’s eyes narrowed in scepticism. He stared in Clark’s eyes, examining them carefully.

“You don’t have to-“

“I want to,” Clark said quickly.

“Are you sure?” Jason asked.

“I’ve been thinking about it for a little while,” Clark said.

“I thought you hated it when you did it,” Jason said.

“I feel like it’ll be different with you, and I want to experience everything,” Clark said.

Jason grinned, “just like back when we first started and I was teaching you things?”

“I guess,” Clark nodded.

“Consider Jason’s sex tutorials back in session then,” Jason teased.

“Don’t make me change my mind.”

“You can change your mind whenever you want,” Jason said seriously, “for real, Clark. You don’t like something, you tell me.”

Clark nodded, “I will. Can we do it now?”

“Hell yeah, we can do it now,” Jason grinned from ear to ear.

He took hold of Clark’s hand and pulled him up from the couch, not that Clark wasn’t willing to go with him, because he was. The two went into their bedroom and Clark could practically hear his heart beating heavily. It wasn’t out of fear. It wasn’t even out of nerves. It was out of excitement because he wanted this badly.

Jason turned to him, standing in the middle of the room. He took Clark’s face in his hands once more and kissed him. Clark closed his eyes, kissing his _boyfriend_ back. They kissed for a while and it was at that point that Clark realized Jason was going to go slow with this. Maybe even agonizingly slow, but that was what Clark wanted, right? He didn’t want the quick impatience that he was delivered when he did this with Justin. He trusted that Jason knew what he was doing.

“Take off your clothes, and get on the bed,” Jason spoke against his lips. Clark chased those lips, giving them one last kiss before Jason inevitably stepped back. With Jason taking his own shirt off, Clark followed suit. He stripped down, and he had been completely naked in front of Jason countless times before, and while he was always comfortable around him, he felt vulnerable.

Clark got on the bed, which was no longer an air mattress and an actual bed he managed to take from his old home. He watched Jason as he too stripped down, ridding himself completely of clothes. Clark’s eyes, as always, scanned over his body, checking him out. How in the world had it taken Clark eighteen years to figure out he was attracted to guys? How had it even taken him so long to figure out he was attracted to _Jason_?

“Remember, you don’t like something or you want to stop, tell me,” Jason demanded.

“I will, and I’m good. I want to do this,” Clark said.

“I know, just making sure,” Jason said.

He went to the bedside drawer and opened it, taking out the essentials; lube and condoms. He tossed them on the bed before climbing on. Clark followed his movements, moving further back onto the bed. Jason gently pushed Clark onto his back before brushing their lips together. He kissed Clark slowly, but hard, as he sucked Clark’s bottom lip between his teeth. Jason’s hands were wandering, always wandering. He felt up Clark’s thighs, running back and forth in a way that soothed him of any tension in his body.

Jason trailed his lips down Clark’s jaw and to his neck, kissing in all the places that had him feeling intoxicated. He placed kisses down his collarbone, stopping to nip lightly on it. Clark let out a shaky breath, and there were the nerves that had been missing earlier, because Jason was kissing down his body, crossing his chest, his stomach, and getting to his hip, flicking his tongue out along it. He was getting closer.

“Relax,” Jason read his mind. He kissed his thigh, and Clark nodded, laying back on his pillow.

“What are you gonna do?” Clark asked, even though he knew how this worked.

“I’ll let you know when I’m gonna start with fingers, ‘kay?” Jason said.

“Okay…” Clark said a little confused, because wasn’t he going to do that then? “What’s first?”

“Making you relax,” Jason said. The next moment Clark felt the wetness of Jason’s tongue as he flicked it along the tip of his cock. _Oh_. Okay, that was cool. Clark could definitely deal with this. Jason was really good at giving blowjobs, like incredibly good and Clark had received many from him, especially over the last couple of weeks, and each time was better than the one before.

Jason wrapped his lips around Clark’s width and before he knew it, he was engulfed in a wet warmth that sent a burning sensation through his abdomen. Clark looked down, watching as Jason’s head bobbed up and down, while his dick grew harder. Clark relaxed, closing his eyes. Jason was on the money with this. He had definitely chilled out, but more than anything, he found himself getting more and more turned on, and when he was turned on, he let his defences down. It made him want Jason to do this even more.

Clark didn’t even realize just how close he was getting to climaxing until his own quick, frantic breathing notified him. He tangled his fingers in Jason’s hair, caressing the back of his head, but not forcing him to go quicker or to even stop, for that matter. It was hard to say ‘stop’ when you were on the brink.

Jason knew Clark’s cues perhaps even better than Clark knew them himself, so he knew exactly when to stop. He pulled back, and their eyes met. Jason’s lips were red and glistening. Clark wanted to kiss him but Jason stayed put.

“How you doing up there?” Jason asked.

“You almost made me come,” Clark admitted.

“Good,” he said as he wrapped a hand around Clark’s width. He slowly stroked him up and down, but not enough to push Clark over the edge. “I’m gonna try one finger, okay? And I’ll use plenty of lube. But tell me if-“

“I know, I know. Tell you if I wanna stop. Got it,” Clark said.

Jason smiled, and with his deep brown eyes still on Clark, he kissed his thigh. He gave it another kiss, and then another, before he stopped touching him all together. He sat up and reached over for the lube. Clark watched on as he poured some onto his fingers. There was that heavy beating in his chest once more.

Jason moved Clark’s legs, making him spread them, and it was a little odd for Clark. It wasn’t what he was used to, and he knew they were both guys, he knew there wasn’t a girl in their relationship and as much as he complained about it, he still knew that doing this didn’t make him any less masculine. But it was still just _odd_ to him. But he didn’t hate it. He didn’t think he could ever hate anything that Jason could do to him.

Clark felt the cool touch of lube milliseconds before he felt Jason’s finger; his finger which was circling his hole, wetting him. Jason took him in his mouth once more and the very next second Clark felt the, once again, _odd_ sensation of the tip of Jason’s finger sliding into him. He went slow, really slow. Clark frowned. It didn’t hurt. It was just weird. There was maybe even a little, tiny, prickle of discomfort. He was a little more distracted by what Jason’s mouth was doing.

“Not bad,” Clark thought out loud, making Jason chuckle.

Jason kept at it, moving his finger in and out until the discomfort left and it didn’t feel so odd anymore. It’s didn’t exactly feel good though. It didn’t really feel like anything. What did feel good was Jason’s mouth wrapped around him. Too good.

“Stop, you’ll make me come,” Clark said quickly when he felt it pooling in his stomach. Jason pulled back, looking up at him.

“Second finger?” Jason asked.

“Will it hurt?” Clark asked.

“I don’t know. I’ll go slow,” Jason said.

Clark nodded and rested his head against the pillow again. He closed his eyes and focused on what Jason was doing. He heard the bottle of lube again and felt the coolness of it on his skin before he was being stretched by a second finger. Clark grimaced, biting the inside of his cheek. One finger didn’t hurt. Two did, only a little though. It was actually, again, not that bad.

Clark knew he shouldn’t have been thinking about Justin, but for a moment he did. Doing this with Justin, even one finger, hurt like a bitch, and he wondered if it was just because that was his first time or if it was because of lack of lube or going too fast. Either way, this was a lot better.

“Does it hurt?” Jason asked.

“Mm not really, like a tiny bit. But…no…it’s different, to like…last time,” Clark said, feeling a little awkward mentioning it.

“It gets better and better each time you do it,” Jason said.

“I believe you, considering how much you like it,” Clark said as he glanced down at his boyfriend.

Jason grinned back at him, “does it feel any kind of good yet?”

“Not really.”

“How about this?” Jason asked.

He did something a little different. He didn’t just move his fingers in and out. He curled them, massaging inside him and…_oh_. Clark yelped, not sure whether he wanted to move away or have more of whatever Jason was doing, but as he kept massaging that one spot, Clark found the urge to run disappear.

“What the fuck?” Clark asked.

“Good?” Jason asked.

Clark nodded, “yeah, I…I think. It’s weird but…uh…I can’t think.”

“Just relax,” Jason said. He kept pressing against that one spot, sending little ripples of pleasure through him. Clark _definitely _hadn’t felt like this with Justin. 

Jason worked his fingers in and out of him, scissoring them, stretching him. Jason’s dick was a lot bigger than two fingers though, and that was a little daunting, but Clark was all in. He was one hundred per cent ready for this.

“This is…good…This is good,” Clark told him. Because it was. He kept touching that spot that Clark didn’t even know existed. Jason’s fingers were _magic_.

“Can I go for three?” Jason asked. Clark was only a little concerned. Two fingers felt good, better than he thought it would. Three would probably hurt, but at the same time he really wanted this.

“Yeah.”

More lube. Good. Before he knew it, Jason was slowly and expertly working a third finger in. Clark tensed, only relaxing when he felt the warmth of Jason’s mouth around his cock again as he sucked hard. Clark didn’t know what to focus on, but it was a welcome distraction. Jason had three fingers in him and Clark was…fine. It was uncomfortable at first, but Jason had him so worked up that he didn’t even care.

“I can…ugh…kind of see why…why you like this,” Clark said through grunts.

Jason sat up, not removing his fingers, but looking up at him. “See, don’t knock something until you try it…Well, with the right person at least.”

“Are you gonna fuck me now?” Clark asked.

“Patience,” Jason laughed, “and I’m not fucking you. We’re gonna make love.”

“Don’t call it that,” Clark whined.

“Why not?”

“That’s what old straight couples say,” Clark said.

“You’re so fucking cute,” Jason said. He moved back up Clark’s body, coming face to face with him once more. Clark closed his eyes the moment Jason kissed him, and boy, was that something else, kissing him while his fingers were in him. Clark really was starting to understand the appeal of bottoming.

Clark reached down to grab Jason’s cock, only for Jason to moan something incoherent against his lips and knock his hand away. Instead, Clark wrapped his arms around Jason’s neck, holding him close. The discomfort from three fingers left pretty quickly and once again Clark was enjoying it. He couldn’t believe it. He was actually enjoying something that he had been so scared of for so long.

Jason eventually pulled back and slowly removed his fingers. It was all so methodical, step by step, and Clark knew it had to be done. He had to be prepped. Jason was different. Quite often he just told Clark to get to it, no prep at all, and Clark wondered if one day he would be the same. The exciting thing was that he and Jason were officially together now and had all the time in the world to figure each other’s bodies out.

Jason got on his knees between Clark’s legs. He picked up a condom and tore it open. Clark lay there on his back, staring up at him, watching him as he rolled the condom on, and was completely captivated as he lathered himself with a hefty amount of lubricant. Jason looked at him, those dark eyes boring into him.

“Do y-“

“Yes,” Clark answered before he could even get the words out.

“Eager,” Jason grinned.

“Well it’s been so far so good so…might as well,” Clark shrugged.

“So romantic, you nerd,” Jason teased.

“Just…do it,” Clark said.

“Just do what?” Jason asked, mischievous smile on his lips. Did he really want him to say it?

“I want…you inside me,” Clark said, his lips tugging at his own smile.

“Cheesy,” Jason said.

“Just make _love _to me,” Clark added.

“Love it when you talk dirty,” Jason winked.

He shuffled closer on his knees before lowering himself to Clark’s body once more. Clark’s thighs were around Jason’s hips and in that moment, he remembered his first time doing this. He remembered panicking but keeping it inside, not wanting to look like an idiot in front of Justin. He remember it hurting so badly and he wanted it over as quickly as possible. With Jason on top of him though, he felt nothing but calm. He felt nothing but desire.

Jason didn’t even have to look down at what he was doing to know what to do. He adjusted himself and all while still looking at Clark, he pushed inside, only an inch. It hurt. Clark wasn’t going to lie about that. It wasn’t like it was some kind of excruciating pain. It was like he was being stretched and it felt like being pinched really hard. And yet, Clark didn’t want to stop, because another feeling came over him. A closeness. The feeling he craved for so long, and so when Jason looked at him, silently asking if he can go in further, Clark nodded.

Jason slid in at a snail’s pace. It was so weird at first, but it didn’t feel wrong. As he slid in a fraction more, Clark tensed. He felt so deep already.

“Fuck,” Clark breathed out.

“You okay?” Jason asked.

Clark nodded.

“You’ll get used to it and it’ll feel better after a few minutes. I promise,” Jason said.

Clark simply nodded once more as he remembered how to breathe again.

“Do you want a break?” Jason asked.

Clark shook his head.

“Can I move?” Jason asked.

“Yeah.”

Jason did. He slid in further. Clark closed his eyes and bit his bottom lip. The deeper he went, the more it hurt, but it wasn’t anything like last time and it wasn’t anything he couldn’t handle, and he knew it would get better. He trusted Jason on that. Soon, the worst part was over. Jason was inside him, as far as he could go. Clark opened his eyes, looking up at him.

“You okay?” Jason asked.

“Surprisingly yes,” Clark said.

Jason smiled and leant down, kissing Clark gently. He littered Clark’s jawline with kisses before going back to his lips, melding them together. He hadn’t moved yet. He just stayed in him.

“You have no clue how good you feel,” Jason spoke against his lips. And hey, that was something Clark hadn’t even registered. He had been so focused on what he was feeling that he didn’t take into consideration what Jason was feeling, and the fact that he could make him feel good in a way that he hadn’t done yet was exciting.

“You can move again,” Clark told him.

Jason nodded and once again pressed their lips together. He did as Clark asked. He carefully slid partially out before thrusting back in, not too fast, but not too slow. It was enough to back Clark yelp against Jason’s lips. He could tell Jason was holding back a lot. He was shaking, and Jason only did that when he was trying his best not to come.

Clark focused on the feeling of Jason’s soft lips as he slowly rocked in and out of him. He did that until the pain had subsided and instead was replaced with a different feeling. He felt full, and then he realized _Jason was inside him_. Of course he knew that before but the mere thought of it turned him on beyond belief.

“You can go a little faster,” Clark whispered, not sure why he was intent on being quiet.

“You’re killing me,” Jason said, his lips once again capturing Clark’s, but he did what Clark wanted. He moved just a little faster. He thrust in and out, rolling his hips expertly, hitting that one spot that had Clark first feeling so good. Clark hooked his legs around Jason’s back and wrapped his arms around the man’s neck, tangling his fingers in his hair. They had had sex before but somehow in that moment they were closer than ever, almost like they could have fused together as one person.

“Mm ‘s s-starting to feel good,” Clark told him.

“Good because I don’t know how long I can last,” Jason said. Their foreheads touched, noses brushing together. Jason took Clark’s hand, lacing their fingers together and pinning it to the mattress beside the pillow.

“You don’t have to hold back. You can come,” Clark told him.

“Quiet,” Jason said before silencing him with his lips once more.

Jason had picked up some speed, although still going slow. It was a perfect rhythm for Clark in that moment. He didn’t want it to end. He had completely surprised himself with how into it he was. He wanted to try it again. But the thing was, he only ever wanted to do it with Jason, and Jason only.

Jason let go of his hand and trailed his fingertips down Clark’s torso. He got to his cock and wrapped his hand around the width before stroking him quick. He slowed his movements, only rocking against Clark slightly. He stroked Clark quicker and Clark realized Jason was trying to make him to come first.

“Come,” Clark told him after he freed his lips.

“No.”

“Come.”

“You,” Jason snapped.

“I will. Just wanna feel you come while in me,” Clark said, not even realizing until that moment that that was a thing he was into.

“Fuck. I hate you,” Jason muttered. He buried his face in Clark’s neck, kissing it hard as he once again rolled his hips, sliding in and out of Clark. Jason’s resolve was slipping. Clark could feel it in the ferocity of the kisses and in the franticness of his thrusts, and finally in the way he bit down on the soft flesh of Clark’s neck.

Clark himself was getting close. It was all new; the feelings he was experiencing. It was different, and with Jason tugging on him hard and fast, he knew he wouldn’t last much longer. Jason was panting heavily in his ear, whimpering as he tried to hold out a little longer.

“Fuck, Clark. You feel so good. I can’t…” Jason breathed.

“You can. Let go,” Clark demanded.

He felt Jason nod against his neck and then he moaned, a pure, absolutely delightful sound to Clark’s ears. He jerked forward, making Clark wince in pain, not that he minded too much. And then he stilled, buried deep in him, as he moaned again, muttering something incoherent. Clark knew those sounds. Jason had just climaxed while in him and it was all too much for Clark. Jason had barely been touching him at that point but he still let every little feeling that had built up since his back hit the mattress go, and he came in waves over his stomach. It was unlike anything he had ever felt before.

Jason’s weight collapsed onto Clark, not that he minded. Both men breathed heavily, chests rising and falling against the others. Clark couldn’t believe he just did that, that _they _just did that, and he liked it. Obviously.

“Please tell me you liked that,” Jason panted in his ear, “because I might just die if I never get to do that again. I mean, if you want.”

“I liked that,” Clark chuckled.

“Good,” Jason kissed below his ear, “good.”

Jason pushed himself up before sliding out of Clark and falling onto his back.

“Holy fuck,” Jason sighed.

“Right?”

“You…you are…fucking amazing,” Jason said as he let his hand lazily flop onto Clark’s chest. Feeling all sorts of warm inside and out, Clark couldn’t help but smile. He turned onto his side to face Jason, and upon seeing that, Jason did the same.

“Thank you,” Clark said.

“Don’t ever thank me for sex,” Jason said.

“I’m not. It’s just thank you for…I don’t know. Being you. And yeah, the sex too, I guess,” Clark laughed.

“Dork.”

Clark moved closer, pressing his lips to his boyfriend’s. It was so strange even thinking that word. Boyfriend. But that was what they were. They were friends, then lovers, and finally boyfriends. _Finally_.

“I love you,” Jason murmured against Clark’s lips.

Clark pulled back, looking into Jason’s eyes to see if there was any sign that he was fucking with him.

“You do?” Clark asked, not quite believing it.

“More than anything. I knew it back when you were in that car crash. I knew there was no way I could live my life without you,” Jason admitted.

Clark frowned, “well why didn’t you say that back then?”

“Scared,” Jason said, “you’re the first guy…actually, the first person I’ve ever been in love with.”

“I love you too,” Clark said. 

“Bro, that’s gay,” Jason teased.

“Why you gotta ruin a perfect moment, hm?” Clark asked.

“Because we’re not perfect,” Jason said. He pressed his lips to Clark’s again before he stopped and rolled away, getting off the bed.

“Meet me in the shower, boyfriend,” Jason said as he crossed the room.

Clark smiled as he watched him. He finally had the one thing that he had wanted for so long but had always alluded him. He loved someone who loved him back, and it was real.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much for reading this little Jason/Clark side-piece!!! I know there's a lot more to be told about the two of them and their relationship, but I'll leave all that up to your imaginations because I'm not that interested in continuing it, but it's done and wrapped up and they lived happily ever after.
> 
> Thanks so much again to everyone who read/commented/left kudos and all that stuff. It really does mean a lot that you guys would read this even though it's not a popular The Society ship. You guys are the best!!!!!!!!
> 
> I'm gonna start writing some other Grizz/Sam stories in the lead up to the eventual season 2. I have many ideas!!!! I probably won't begin posting until I have the whole thing written though so if yall are still around when I eventually start posting then I'll see you then!! Until then, bye!!
> 
> THANK YOU AGAIN.


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